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SuicideFuel the best friend I ever had was short and gym-maxed and appears to have killed himself 3 months + 3 days ago ... I found out less than 3 hours ago

HeOweGoreWrath

HeOweGoreWrath

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I'm sure I wasn't his best friend, but I connect with so few people that I really think he was my best. I wish I wasn't so ashamed of myself and had tried to stay in contact with him.

I always thought it would be cool if we had been roommates or something. I think he would've been a positive influence on my athleticism, and I was taller and maybe could've helped him move heavy boxes or some shit so he could've focused on acrobatics.

He even visited my province and I never fucking knew... I might've MET him...

He was a juggler, an acrobat, a contortionist, a tricker, an actor, a philosopher, a video game designer, a comic illustrator... he was creative in so many ways that I don't know if I ever could've been.

I guess because I knew him so early, I feel close to a part of him that people who knew him later in life might not have been close to. Like I knew the old him, parts of the inner him he might not have projected in his day-to-day interactions except those closest to him. It's hard to know.




I don't really know if he was celibate or not. I do know that (possibly for financial reasons?) he did gay porn and when I talked to him after finding out I don't think I ever brought it up because it was too awkward a subject to broach. He only ever talked about liking cute younger girls with me, so it seems like he did that because it was one of the few ways to make money easily from the athleticism he built. But I was never really sure.

It seemed like there were girls interested him but I don't know how far that got. Like if they were toying because he was cute but maybe too short? Even if he had hooked up it's hard to think they would've really bonded romantically, accepted the true him, which I think few knew about.

It's hard to say. I hope among the athletic stripper/gymast women I saw him socialize with in his social media vids that he did find a girl who understood and accepted him. I'm guessing if he did it didn't last, which saddens me, but I hope he at least had some ephemeral moments of fulfillment and ascension.

He certainly was higher-effort and lower-inhib than I ever was. He was an inspiration in human achievement. He was my hero. He was a True Hero.
 
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how tall was he exactly?
 
from what I've looked up it says 5'4" / 163cm
 
I hope he is in heaven
 
I hope he is in heaven
depends on what rules govern that I guess, perhaps the Jade Emperor's. Yahweh and co probably don't approve of how he went out or how he earned money, but I know he was a pure soul
 
as a manlet, 5'4 is pretty rough. I think anything under 5'7 nowadays is hell-mode difficulty in the west. the dude woulda been chad status if he got leg lengthening. the world doesn't take manlet suffering seriously. I hope he was at peace when he passed.
 
might've looked weird with just the legs lengthened, not sure

kinda had similar face aesthetics to john cena imo
 
gay porn thing sounds rough
 
well, sorry for your loss
 
gay porn thing sounds rough
I kinda wonder when you work contortion so hard you can selfsuck if it kinda preselects you for that path because they probably paid him well for it
 
"Just work out n improve yourself bro..."

R.I.P to this shortcel
 
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He had more courage than I will ever have.

Respect for him and sorry for you.
 
The only friend I have that I know had a suicide attempt is a manlet. He is good looking and have no problem having sex though.
 
He had more courage than I will ever have.
I hope this means the juggling/acrobatics and not the an hero, tbh not even sure it was intentional. I should look past the suicide / sexchoke into possible murder but I wouldn't know where to start or who to suspect, don't live nearby
 
Tragic, the end of being a manlet.
Even if no woman will ever want us, I guess we should at least be there for each other, cause friendship is important for us all.
 
He did get some level of female attention I was kinda jealous about, you can't help but not get foids to appreciate that level of athleticism.
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He was low-inhib as fuck, not sure if inherently or he just trained himself to be flamboyant, dunno.

It shows gym-maxing is definitely a real thing if you can get seriously good though it's probably not realistic to expect to be able to get this good.

I do wonder how far the female attention actually went though, because it might just be them adopting an athletic impressive short guy as a pet but actually going home with and fucking the 6'2" guy who can't do a handstand.

Always felt too awkward to ask and now I can't :(

There are short girls out there so if you were very athletic 5'4" you could probably romance the 5'0" ones, even though I still think they'd often ditch for a 6'6" guy

his facial aesthetics would probably also given him a leg up, not really sure how I'd rate his face exactly but probably >5
 
it's nice to know he did find some other work as a Chippendale's stripper too, I wonder how often they hire short guys to get variety even if the tall guys are main attraction

also he was on an athletic team with this guy:



they actually made a vid together couple years ago =/
 
He did get some level of female attention I was kinda jealous about, you can't help but not get foids to appreciate that level of athleticism.
View attachment 424820View attachment 424821View attachment 424822View attachment 424823

He was low-inhib as fuck, not sure if inherently or he just trained himself to be flamboyant, dunno.

It shows gym-maxing is definitely a real thing if you can get seriously good though it's probably not realistic to expect to be able to get this good.

I do wonder how far the female attention actually went though, because it might just be them adopting an athletic impressive short guy as a pet but actually going home with and fucking the 6'2" guy who can't do a handstand.

Always felt too awkward to ask and now I can't :(

There are short girls out there so if you were very athletic 5'4" you could probably romance the 5'0" ones, even though I still think they'd often ditch for a 6'6" guy

his facial aesthetics would probably also given him a leg up, not really sure how I'd rate his face exactly but probably >5
He's got a hightiernormie/chadlite face.

The gay porn is what probably killed him inside for good and what was left was just a corpse that was ready to neck itself at any given moment.

My condolences tbh
 
i wonder why he killed himself
 
I'm sure I wasn't his best friend, but I connect with so few people that I really think he was my best. I wish I wasn't so ashamed of myself and had tried to stay in contact with him.

I always thought it would be cool if we had been roommates or something. I think he would've been a positive influence on my athleticism, and I was taller and maybe could've helped him move heavy boxes or some shit so he could've focused on acrobatics.

He even visited my province and I never fucking knew... I might've MET him...

He was a juggler, an acrobat, a contortionist, a tricker, an actor, a philosopher, a video game designer, a comic illustrator... he was creative in so many ways that I don't know if I ever could've been.

I guess because I knew him so early, I feel close to a part of him that people who knew him later in life might not have been close to. Like I knew the old him, parts of the inner him he might not have projected in his day-to-day interactions except those closest to him. It's hard to know.

View attachment 422948


I don't really know if he was celibate or not. I do know that (possibly for financial reasons?) he did gay porn and when I talked to him after finding out I don't think I ever brought it up because it was too awkward a subject to broach. He only ever talked about liking cute younger girls with me, so it seems like he did that because it was one of the few ways to make money easily from the athleticism he built. But I was never really sure.

It seemed like there were girls interested him but I don't know how far that got. Like if they were toying because he was cute but maybe too short? Even if he had hooked up it's hard to think they would've really bonded romantically, accepted the true him, which I think few knew about.

It's hard to say. I hope among the athletic stripper/gymast women I saw him socialize with in his social media vids that he did find a girl who understood and accepted him. I'm guessing if he did it didn't last, which saddens me, but I hope he at least had some ephemeral moments of fulfillment and ascension.

He certainly was higher-effort and lower-inhib than I ever was. He was an inspiration in human achievement. He was my hero. He was a True Hero.
F, hope that he is now in a better place.
 
A mentor of mine once said: "It's the best people in your life who die sooner, and the people you can't stand who stay with you forever".

It's a shame your friend is gone, and it sounds like a privilege that you got to know him at all.
 
I'm sure I wasn't his best friend, but I connect with so few people that I really think he was my best. I wish I wasn't so ashamed of myself and had tried to stay in contact with him.

I always thought it would be cool if we had been roommates or something. I think he would've been a positive influence on my athleticism, and I was taller and maybe could've helped him move heavy boxes or some shit so he could've focused on acrobatics.

He even visited my province and I never fucking knew... I might've MET him...

He was a juggler, an acrobat, a contortionist, a tricker, an actor, a philosopher, a video game designer, a comic illustrator... he was creative in so many ways that I don't know if I ever could've been.

I guess because I knew him so early, I feel close to a part of him that people who knew him later in life might not have been close to. Like I knew the old him, parts of the inner him he might not have projected in his day-to-day interactions except those closest to him. It's hard to know.

View attachment 422948


I don't really know if he was celibate or not. I do know that (possibly for financial reasons?) he did gay porn and when I talked to him after finding out I don't think I ever brought it up because it was too awkward a subject to broach. He only ever talked about liking cute younger girls with me, so it seems like he did that because it was one of the few ways to make money easily from the athleticism he built. But I was never really sure.

It seemed like there were girls interested him but I don't know how far that got. Like if they were toying because he was cute but maybe too short? Even if he had hooked up it's hard to think they would've really bonded romantically, accepted the true him, which I think few knew about.

It's hard to say. I hope among the athletic stripper/gymast women I saw him socialize with in his social media vids that he did find a girl who understood and accepted him. I'm guessing if he did it didn't last, which saddens me, but I hope he at least had some ephemeral moments of fulfillment and ascension.

He certainly was higher-effort and lower-inhib than I ever was. He was an inspiration in human achievement. He was my hero. He was a True Hero.
My condolences OP
He's got a hightiernormie/chadlite face.

The gay porn is what probably killed him inside for good and what was left was just a corpse that was ready to neck itself at any given moment.

My condolences tbh
Not only that high tier normies/Chad lirlte is the new average now due to COVID
 
The gay porn is what probably killed him inside for good and what was left was just a corpse that was ready to neck itself at any given moment.
I dunno, not ruling it out but he seemed kinda zen about it. Could be a front but I don't want to underestimate his ability to compartmentalize, he seemed excellent at willpower and perspective surpassing challenges in other respects.

It just seems to oversimplify his struggle that he would want to rope over that.

If anything I'm wondering if covid-related loneliness did it. He achieved more social connectiosn than me so perhaps he wanted it more than I did, and relied on it more after getting to achieve it, so that combined with any drama could make one feel isolated.

This makes me feel even worse not trying harder to contact him. Maybe instead of the burden/annoyance I thought I was I could've been a welcome support.
I think because he was ashamed of his faggotry
I don't really think so, he talked about much more socially discriminated-against subjects prior to even getting into that.

But he did ge tto socialize with legends like Jon Call and I wonder if that stopped happening and could've broken his esteem. I really don't know how to find out.
 
he was no normal manlet though... he got way more female attention than most of us here who never roped

I wonder about the "touch exceeds grasp" concept though.

If you're so close to ascending that you get this female attention yet not enough to get that fulfilling relationship you want, could it be even more demoralizing?

I'm actually wondering if 7/10 face guys might rope more often than 1/10 face guys. The 7/10 guy will rarely have a stable outlook because he always thinks he can ascend and will keep getting his hopes up, only to be constantly abandoned or cucked by Chad.

This might break you worse than knowing you never had a chance like 1/10 guy who has a stable outlook and gets his hopes up less often.
 
its absolutely over for heightcels
 
This is nice. It’s a breath of fresh air from all the grotesque and inane shit that’s posted on here. You sound like you really appreciated him.
 
Sorry to hear brocel, it's always tough losing someone you were close with. May he be at peace.
 
Sorry to hear brocel, it's always tough losing someone you were close with. May he be at peace.
This. He looked ripped and chad as fuck but I mean manlet so ya.
 
It's hard to say. I hope among the athletic stripper/gymast women I saw him socialize with in his social media vids that he did find a girl who understood and accepted him. I'm guessing if he did it didn't last, which saddens me, but I hope he at least had some ephemeral moments of fulfillment and ascension.

He certainly was higher-effort and lower-inhib than I ever was. He was an inspiration in human achievement. He was my hero. He was a True Hero.
You made me feel emotional bro, not crying but to that pat, with a smile, but without it, I'd like to say I'm with you, but of course we don't know each other
 
This is nice. It’s a breath of fresh air from all the grotesque and inane shit that’s posted on here. You sound like you really appreciated him.
if I ever do find a copy of that RPGmaker game I'll post it if anyone wants to try it out

wish I could convert it to some format other than .exe though

wonder if Steam would host it
 
brutal man
im sorry for your loss
from what you described it (apart from the faggotry) he seemed like a nice fellow... may he rest in peace.
 
from what you described it (apart from the faggotry) he seemed like a nice fellow... may he rest in peace.
I don't think anything about his acting career made him any less of a nice fellow TBH

For all I know it had nothing at all to do with his demise, I guess I'm just trying to figure how I'd react, but just because we have similar interest doesn't mean our psychology would be overly similar in all respects.
 
update; it turns out reports of his December death might possibly have been fake news, based on some March 2021 arrest warrants I've seen for some January 2021 allegations. Looking into it.
 

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