Hi. Today I have watched a couple of videos from my old high school and I remembered all the good stuff and the bad stuff as well. I miss those times. I miss the times when I was still a 
and not af. When I was debt-free, didnt have togo to work and had fun with my friends. I miss the LAN parties when we would get drunk and play DOTA or watch some stupid American Pie movies. I was still full of hope that I would get laid and get a girlfriend. If I go further in the past when I was a child I was even happier. That was before I experienced how evil girls can get. When I was in high school me and my friends have made a bet that whoever doesnt lose virginity by the end of the year is going to buy a bottle of liquor for the New Years Eve party. I lost the bet, not my virginity. I had to wait until 18 where I could finally pay for losing it... I remember how romantic I used to be. Because I thought girl loved it. I was lied to. I miss those years even though I experienced rejection over and over again. This one girl I loved her so much. I just wanted to be alone with her because I was never good with crowds and felt that they would laugh at my attempts. At first she smiled when she interacted with me but later she got so cold. She made up reasons why she cant go out with me. I thought those reasons were legitimate. But later she just refused me without giving any. I knew I had to stop. I knew I fucking failed. I wish girls would just tell me that they will never ever consider me a potential mate. I had to learn the hard way. I tried to contact her later on FB when I thought I had matured enoughbut she was already taken. It still pains me because I have always thought that some girls are just not AWALT. She was a petite little girl who looked like a princess. I thought she wasnt gonna be like those foids who treat anyone below alpha like shit. I know where shes working but she lives in the capital and I cant contact her. I mean I could but that would get me in trouble for stalking.
Sometimes and not just with this girl I thought it would be fun to abduct these girls and keep them in your cellar until they grow fond of you. To make them see how great boyfriends/lovers we would turn out to be. Because they always travel in packs with their giggling bitch friends or they are surrounded by beta orbiters who will white knight them to oblivion... I miss my past in general. I lost so many contacts with people I used to love hang out with. But even If I had their contacts. What am I going to tell them? They are married or in a relationship and the older I get the more sore loser I become. I used to lie to them about having lost my virginity sooner or about girls I had sex. When none of that was true. It was a false macho image I put up and it crumbled like a house of cards. After swallowing the I lost all faith in "romance" and see girls as sexual objects and evil things. And I know I wont be able to have a relationship ever. Sometimes those hoes smell my misogyny even before I do anything. Like those old washed up cunts in their office jobs complicating my life when filing tax forms. Im an empty vessel fated to live my life in misery, without sex , slaving away at my job...
and not af. When I was debt-free, didnt have togo to work and had fun with my friends. I miss the LAN parties when we would get drunk and play DOTA or watch some stupid American Pie movies. I was still full of hope that I would get laid and get a girlfriend. If I go further in the past when I was a child I was even happier. That was before I experienced how evil girls can get. When I was in high school me and my friends have made a bet that whoever doesnt lose virginity by the end of the year is going to buy a bottle of liquor for the New Years Eve party. I lost the bet, not my virginity. I had to wait until 18 where I could finally pay for losing it... I remember how romantic I used to be. Because I thought girl loved it. I was lied to. I miss those years even though I experienced rejection over and over again. This one girl I loved her so much. I just wanted to be alone with her because I was never good with crowds and felt that they would laugh at my attempts. At first she smiled when she interacted with me but later she got so cold. She made up reasons why she cant go out with me. I thought those reasons were legitimate. But later she just refused me without giving any. I knew I had to stop. I knew I fucking failed. I wish girls would just tell me that they will never ever consider me a potential mate. I had to learn the hard way. I tried to contact her later on FB when I thought I had matured enoughbut she was already taken. It still pains me because I have always thought that some girls are just not AWALT. She was a petite little girl who looked like a princess. I thought she wasnt gonna be like those foids who treat anyone below alpha like shit. I know where shes working but she lives in the capital and I cant contact her. I mean I could but that would get me in trouble for stalking.Sometimes and not just with this girl I thought it would be fun to abduct these girls and keep them in your cellar until they grow fond of you. To make them see how great boyfriends/lovers we would turn out to be. Because they always travel in packs with their giggling bitch friends or they are surrounded by beta orbiters who will white knight them to oblivion... I miss my past in general. I lost so many contacts with people I used to love hang out with. But even If I had their contacts. What am I going to tell them? They are married or in a relationship and the older I get the more sore loser I become. I used to lie to them about having lost my virginity sooner or about girls I had sex. When none of that was true. It was a false macho image I put up and it crumbled like a house of cards. After swallowing the
I lost all faith in "romance" and see girls as sexual objects and evil things. And I know I wont be able to have a relationship ever. Sometimes those hoes smell my misogyny even before I do anything. Like those old washed up cunts in their office jobs complicating my life when filing tax forms. Im an empty vessel fated to live my life in misery, without sex , slaving away at my job...
