Sometimes I read r/SuicideBereavement for reasons I can’t describe

[Sans]

Sometimes I like to see what others are feeling after their friends, children, parents, partners, etc. take their own lives.

I’m not a psychopath. I don’t get pleasure from reading about other people’s suffering. So I can’t say I do it “for fun” because that would be fucked up. I can’t exactly describe the reason I like to read it.

Maybe it’s because I just wish someone would care enough to even acknowledge it when I inevitably off myself as well. Maybe it’s for the better than no one will suffer as a result of it, but it’s sad that I really make that little of a difference in this fucked-up world.

 

[DenHaag]

Sometimes it’s good to see some of that.

Many of us have had suicidal thoughts.

But my perspective is so different after multiple friends killed themselves, at least two probably died virgins.

The wreckage and pain they left behind for those of us around them was and is beyond what they ever knew.

I wish I did better in letting them know the goodness they brought to the world, that they mattered, so far outside and above and beyond the increasingly incel-exiling bullshit all around us.

 

[Sans]

Sometimes it’s good to see some of that.

Many of us have had suicidal thoughts.

But my perspective is so different after multiple friends killed themselves, at least two probably died virgins.

The wreckage and pain they left behind for those of us who knew them was and is beyond what they ever knew.

I wish I did better in letting them know the goodness they brought to the world, that they mattered, so far outside and above and beyond the increasingly incel-exiling bullshit all around us.

It’s understandable to be upset. I know there’s no one who cares about me so there will be no wreckage and pain when I do it, but I wish that wasn’t the case so I’d have a reason not to.

I wonder if people here would care if I’m gone, but on this forum, I’m just words on a screen, so I don’t think people would care that much.

 

[Fallenleaves]

Normie suicide ftw!

 

[TheDarkEnigma]

At this point, I really don't care if people knew I died. Once I'm dead, I have nothing to care for or acknowledge their existence. I'd just be 'nothing'.

 

[Luzifer]

Anything that helps you cope is good

 

[DenHaag]

It’s understandable to be upset. I know there’s no one who cares about me so there will be no wreckage and pain when I do it, but I wish that wasn’t the case so I’d have a reason not to.

I wonder if people here would care if I’m gone, but on this forum, I’m just words on a screen, so I don’t think people would care that much.

That’s just the thing I would reckon: Every man I know who roped thought exactly that and he was so very wrong.

And that’s part of the regret and repentance of those like me left behind—we didn’t communicate this reality enough and they didn’t get it.

And they justifiably didn’t get it. One doesn’t realize that even the people one talks to only once in a blue moon have more significant and deeper connections than that might suggest. (Maybe technology has something to do with that—constant communication and chatter—vs. say, farmers, truckers, etc. a generation or two ago who spent most of life not talking to anybody, but that didn’t mean they were loners or that nobody cared about them.)

 

[BarrelStuffer]

That’s just the thing I would reckon: Every man I know who roped thought exactly that and he was so very wrong.

And that’s part of the regret and repentance of those like me left behind—we didn’t communicate this reality enough and they didn’t get it.

And they justifiably didn’t get it. One doesn’t realize that even the people one talks to only once in a blue moon have more significant and deeper connections than that might suggest. (Maybe technology has something to do with that—constant communication and chatter—vs. say, farmers, truckers, etc. a generation or two ago who spent most of life not talking to anybody, but that didn’t mean they were loners or that nobody cared about them.)

Well your average incel is living like those farmers from a hundred years ago. I add almost nothing to people’s lives around me. Even when I’m around them I’m kind of just there and don’t talk much. Only my mom would really care, everyone else would get over it pretty quickly, they have better friends and relationships.

 

[InMemoriam]

we care for you OP

 

[NirvanaFan1988]

the goodness they brought to the world

This world is garbage, no point in being alive or purpose in life if you are not good looking

At this point, I really don't care if people knew I died. Once I'm dead, I have nothing to care for or acknowledge their existence. I'd just be 'nothing'.

tbh

 

[TheDarkEnigma]

This world is garbage, no point in being alive or purpose in life if you are not good looking

tbh

Tbh, this world is only worth being for me if I didn't had so many regrets in my life. Every moment, I am plagued with a huge sense of guilt and shame with myself.

I just hope to live long enough to finish all of my projects and leave my thoughts and experiences behind as a testament of my existence. Beyond that, I want to be free from my mental torment. Being alive for so long would be exhausting.

 

[BornToLose]

I might have to have a gander myself. This could be a part of an Interesting New Copes thread, which should exist.