Alcohol and going to the pub was one of the few legit copes I had but during COVID I went overboard and became physically dependent, triggering horrible withdrawal. This forced me to stop permanently (unlike hangovers, your body does not recover from withdrawal; you just go back to square 0 even if you're sober for a long time). It's now been several months without any booze and it's so fucking boring it makes me wanna die. 
I know some people say this is just your body going through a dopamine reset but I call bullshit on that cope. Getting shitfaced with cold lager is simply something else and not something that you simply replace. There's no substitute (well no 'legal' one anyhow. But it's moot point; recovering alcoholics should not abuse other drugs).
I feel so fucking angry at myself for letting this happen. I was a weekend binger for like 12 years without issues (ignoring high blood pressure) and now it's all fucked. I'll never be able to do it again. What the fuck am I supposed to do now as a 34 year old incel with nothing else to do besides video games (nearly completely lost interest in them) and writing shitty fiction?
Fuck.
I know some people say this is just your body going through a dopamine reset but I call bullshit on that cope. Getting shitfaced with cold lager is simply something else and not something that you simply replace. There's no substitute (well no 'legal' one anyhow. But it's moot point; recovering alcoholics should not abuse other drugs).
I feel so fucking angry at myself for letting this happen. I was a weekend binger for like 12 years without issues (ignoring high blood pressure) and now it's all fucked. I'll never be able to do it again. What the fuck am I supposed to do now as a 34 year old incel with nothing else to do besides video games (nearly completely lost interest in them) and writing shitty fiction?
Fuck.
