Venting "Mundane" things making me spiral

[kapri]

I know it's been said 10000000x times here, but today for some reason It was way more brutal for me than usual.

Went to college classes today, and seeing normies my own age just talk to one another, have a laugh, go for a coffee, hang out after the classes, form "groups" while talking is so unbelievable to me. And with such ease. At the beginning of college I've tried talking to almost everybody, and got one word answers at best, and now I see those same people talk to one another like they knew each other for 50 years. I genuinely have no idea what the fuck is so repulsing about me.

They just do. If you ask them how, they don't comprehend the question. It's like asking them "how do you have parents?".
Things just happened, but not to you inkwell.

Been very angry the whole day, my head hurts. Had to vent here. I'm not asking for heaven or eternal bliss, I just want a similar kind of weightlessness. Especially when everyone else just has it. None of them worked for it.

 

[Pancakecel]

Going through college/ university without any social group sounds dreadful. I'm glad I didn't go, as I'm pretty certain that would've been my experience.

Do you know anyone there, even one or two people to have a casual chat with?

 

[Soystein]

At the beginning of college I've tried talking to almost everybody, and got one word answers at best, and now I see those same people talk to one another like they knew each other for 50 years. I genuinely have no idea what the fuck is so repulsing about me.

Been very angry the whole day, my head hurts. Had to vent here. I'm not asking for heaven or eternal bliss, I just want a similar kind of weightlessness. Especially when everyone else just has it. None of them worked for it.

This is just how life is for ugly people, we can only cope as best we can

 

[kapri]

Going through college/ university without any social group sounds dreadful. I'm glad I didn't go, as I'm pretty certain that would've been my experience.

Do you know anyone there, even one or two people to have a casual chat with?

The farthest I get is saying hi to a few people when I see them pass by, and if there is an exam coming up maybe it goes like this "have you studied"-> "yes/no" -> "the class was hard af"-> "haha yeah" and that's usually the end of it. With me being the instigator of conversation ofc. And I try to talk about things but it just doesn't go anywhere.

I'm always alone on breaks and literally just wait anyone to approach, after I've tried talking to a lot of people in the begging, but nobody does, and almost everyone found thier groups by this time (I'm at the end of my bachelors). A lot of time after I saw I was hopeless I felt ashamed of my social inadequacy so I spent like 50% of breaks in the bathroom alone.

 

[Pancakecel]

The farthest I get is saying hi to a few people when I see them pass by, and if there is an exam coming up maybe it goes like this "have you studied"-> "yes/no" -> "the class was hard af"-> "haha yeah" and that's usually the end of it. With me being the instigator of conversation ofc. And I try to talk about things but it just doesn't go anywhere.

I'm always alone on breaks and literally just wait anyone to approach, after I've tried talking to a lot of people in the begging, but nobody does, and almost everyone found thier groups by this time (I'm at the end of my bachelors). A lot of time after I saw I was hopeless I felt ashamed of my social inadequacy so I spent like 50% of breaks in the bathroom alone.

Sorry to hear that, sounds rough. How long do you have left on the degree?

 

[kapri]

Sorry to hear that, sounds rough. How long do you have left on the degree?

One class to pass. I'm writing my undergrads dissertation, so basically it's over . Not sure if I'll go for masters or find a job, or both. But either way my only chance to get to know people and have "young" love has passed.
Cheers to slaving away ig.