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It's Over Sleep Is One Of The Most Conflicting Things To Me (Both LifeFuel & SuiFuel)

BlkPillPres

BlkPillPres

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I always feel conflicted with the way I feel about sleep

On one hand its lifefuel because it is my only real escape from my shitty life, for a few hours I don't have to think about what my life is like. For a few hours I don't have to suffer, and the weirdest feeling is that sensation of peace you have when you wake up in the morning right before it dawns upon you again "oh yeah, this is my life, I was sleeping". All you got was a momentary escape.

As great as it feels to sleep, especially when you have a realistic dream, Its like experiencing the ultimate fuck you by God when you wake up

Sometimes I'd be so immersed in a dream that when I woke up I'd be confused and those are the most soul crushing ones, because you go from this amazing reality back into your real shitty life



On the other hand its suifuel as I'm lying in my bed and the drowsiness begins to kick in, I feel so cozy, its then that the thoughts of suicide really begin to creep in, because I realize that sleep is the closest thing to death that I get to experience, and it feels good, that peaceful nothingness, how calm and easy it would feel if everything would just slip away. Every nights rest is a reminder of how good it would be if your life finally ended

I think - "It would not be so bad if I died in my sleep tonight"

Years of living as an incel has completely killed any fear of death I used to have, and I think fearing death is something that is essential to "being human". The reason why so many of us become so "numb" and emotionally dead is because all the stakes are gone for us

Incels die twice, were all already dead
 
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Years of living as an incel has completely killed any fear of death I used to have, and I think fearing death is something that is essential to "being human". The reason why so many of us become so "numb" and emotionally dead is because all the stakes are gone for us

Incels die twice.
 
the nightmare is endless
 
escortcelling needs to be legal and cheap
 
On the other hand its suifuel as I'm lying in my bed and the drowsiness begins to kick in, I feel so cozy, its then that the thoughts of suicide really begin to creep in, because I realize that sleep is the closest thing to death that I get to experience, and it feels good, that peaceful nothingness, how calm and easy it would feel if everything would just slip away. Every nights rest is a reminder of how good it would be if your life finally ended

I think - "It would not be so bad if I died in my sleep tonight"
Every night I go to bed I pretty much do this. Sometimes I'll say a little pray hoping there is some god out there who can just end my life in my sleep. That eternal emptiness would be the greatest relief to this shitty existence.
 
The worst ones are the dreams where you and the perfect girl for you fall in love and the dream is so realistic and fulfilling when you eventually wake up it’s a total soul crusher.

Fortunately I haven’t gotten those kinds of dreams since my teens.
 
Maybe it'd be better if one nt maxed and have a regular life. Saving for escorts,waking up working 5 hours or so drinking some tea and relax in the evening, some sports, some healthy food I wish I could live this mundane life and took joy in small things like drinking some tea or listening to some music, instead of just escaping all the time
 
The worst ones are the dreams where you and the perfect girl for you fall in love and the dream is so realistic and fulfilling when you eventually wake up it’s a total soul crusher.

Fortunately I haven’t gotten those kinds of dreams since my teens.
Me neither, back when I had hope and was bluepilled :feelscry:
 
I can relate. During sleep, some logical/analytical parts of brain shut down. Some memories too are forgotten. This creates a state where one forgets about all the stresses and troubles of current life and transports to another world. Sometimes I dream about older times when things weren't so shit. This state remains a few minutes after waking up. And then your memory comes back along with all the brain functions, inhibitions, stressors, thought patterns.
 
all my dreams are hyperrealistic-surrealistic leaning highly interactive disturbing nightmares
sometimes I am in war, apocalyptic scenarios, or having entire dialogues with long time dead, deceased relatives, or distant no longer friends/acquaintances

some dreams were so beautiful, wish I could perfectly understand the brain in all depths-axis possible
this is what haunts me the most, the acknowledge I will never understand everything in-all layers/levels of profundity, all data that exists will remain as largely unknown and are out of scope and that I will die before my curiosities can be fulfilled
 
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It's lifefuel because I could Lucid Dream and make my fantasies come to life. The best lucid dream that I had was time travelling to the far, far future via cryosleep. When I woke up, I met my family, but as soon as I began to notice that they are fake androids, I sold our house and used the money to buy an android waifu and left, and we had a great time. But the only bad thing was the last part, because in the last part, I was laying in the bed with my JB waifu and when she's starting to overcompliment me, I pointed out how fake she is and her eyes turned black and became a demonic piece of shit. She started mocking me, and making me do embarrassing stuff. I tried to use my lucid dream powers but it didn't worked. I punched her face ten times, she just laughed it off and told me how pathetic I was. I tried to fly away but I was stuck in a invisible cage, I literally couldn't move. I thought things started to cool down when she masturbating my dick but then her demonic claws detracted and snipped it off. Shit was immensely painful and I could even feel blood was coming out of it. I panicked so much that I thought I've finally died in real life and I'm now repaying my sins in hell. So yeah, I could say that sleeping/dreaming is lifefuel and suifuel because you can lucid dream about you fantasies but you have big price to pay, because once you abused it the shadow people dream agents come after you and will torture you, which is suifuel.
 
Maybe it'd be better if one nt maxed and have a regular life. Saving for escorts,waking up working 5 hours or so drinking some tea and relax in the evening, some sports, some healthy food I wish I could live this mundane life and took joy in small things like drinking some tea or listening to some music, instead of just escaping all the time
Of course it would be better, but until you get to that point you are just stuck suffering, pushing yourself through each day to make it to the next one

At the end of that journey you won't be the same person, were not even the same people were were 10 years ago
Sometimes I'll say a little pray hoping there is some god out there who can just end my life in my sleep.
I stopped praying a long time ago
I could Lucid Dream and make my fantasies come to life.
You didn't make anything happen and its temporary, and then you have to wake back up in your shitty life

You might as well say being a wage slave is lifefuel because you get to have some money to spend on the weekend

Yeah no shit, its because you are slaving away a lot of hours of your life during the weekdays

You sound like you are coping hard, being delusional is not good for your mental state, you have to stay "grounded", you have to say rational, coping is exactly what leads to you becoming a mass shooter, because when those copes finally get crushed and you abruptly accept reality, you crack
 
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On the other hand its suifuel as I'm lying in my bed and the drowsiness begins to kick in, I feel so cozy, its then that the thoughts of suicide really begin to creep in, because I realize that sleep is the closest thing to death that I get to experience, and it feels good, that peaceful nothingness, how calm and easy it would feel if everything would just slip away. Every nights rest is a reminder of how good it would be if your life finally ended
There’s a saying sleeping is the free trail of death while dreams are the ads, once you get the full package they’ll be no interruptions what so ever.
 
Would you have been opposed to the eternal tsukuyomi from naruto? I think it’s based.
 
Would you have been opposed to the eternal tsukuyomi from naruto? I think it’s based.
Yes because its fake, to me that shit ruined naruto even further (it was trash to begin with) because they took this mega villain and made his grand scheme to be some childish make believe world

His grand scheme should have been to kill everyone and literally send them all to heaven using some kind of sacrifice jutsu, so that people would literally be with their loved ones (not some dream world)

That would have made the stakes real and clear, and that would have made a lot more sense

Its retarded to kill people over decades and construct this master plan just to childishly put people in some dream where they don't even get to meet the loved ones they missed, its all in their head, its fake, and that makes it not worth it
 
Yes because its fake, to me that shit ruined naruto even further (it was trash to begin with) because they took this mega villain and made his grand scheme to be some childish make believe world

His grand scheme should have been to kill everyone and literally send them all to heaven using some kind of sacrifice jutsu, so that people would literally be with their loved ones (not some dream world)

That would have made the stakes real and clear, and that would have made a lot more sense

Its retarded to kill people over decades and construct this master plan just to childishly put people in some dream where they don't even get to meet the loved ones they missed, its all in their head, its fake, and that makes it not worth it
Really? But you would never know it’s fake. You would believe it’s all real. And then you would eventually die of old age and never know it was all a dream. Not only that, but apparently it’s basically your own utopia world where you can be the main character and live like a god.

To me personally, it doesn’t matter if something is real or fake, if I think it’s real, and it feels real, and I would never know otherwise, then I’m fine with it.
 
I used to enjoy sleep but now it hurts my back and shoulders

need to mattressmaxx asap
 
Really? But you would never know it’s fake. You would believe it’s all real.
If you were blindfolded and a man was sucking your dick but you thought it was a woman, would you be ok with that scenario because "well I don't know its a man so it doesn't matter" :feelskek:

Would you be ok with such a situation just because you wouldn't know?

Not knowing doesn't change nature of something

And then you would eventually die of old age and never know it was all a dream
Then they would all die and go to heaven and realize that all the memories they cherish were fake and it never happened lol. I think you are forgetting that a "heaven" actually exists in the naruto universe

Not only that, but apparently it’s basically your own utopia world where you can be the main character and live like a god
None of it is real so it isn't worth anything

To me personally, it doesn’t matter if something is real or fake, if I think it’s real, and it feels real, and I would never know otherwise, then I’m fine with it.
:soy:
Cuck mindset
Its like saying you'd be alright with your wife cheating on you so long as you never find out
Its like saying you'd be alright raising a child born of an affair to adulthood so long as you never found out it wasn't yours

That's pathetic

How can you make fun of blue pillers when you are quite literally touting a blue pilled mindset (being willfully ignorant of a harsh reality and choosing to believe a pleasing lie)
 
If you were blindfolded and a man was sucking your dick but you thought it was a woman, would you be ok with that scenario because "well I don't know its a man so it doesn't matter" :feelskek:

Would you be ok with such a situation just because you wouldn't know?

Not knowing doesn't change nature of something


Then they would all die and go to heaven and realize that all the memories they cherish were fake and it never happened lol. I think you are forgetting that a "heaven" actually exists in the naruto universe


None of it is real so it isn't worth anything


:soy:
Cuck mindset
Its like saying you'd be alright with your wife cheating on you so long as you never find out
Its like saying you'd be alright raising a child born of an affair to adulthood so long as you never found out it wasn't yours

That's pathetic

How can you make fun of blue pillers when you are quite literally touting a blue pilled mindset (being willfully ignorant of a harsh reality and choosing to believe a pleasing lie)
You’re completely correct. I don’t know what I was thinking. I have a lot to learn still. I can’t believe I typed any of that. I’ve corrected my thinking. Thanks.

This just shows that many of us (me included) still have blue pilled ideas inside and have a hard time trying to face reality.
 
Dreams are Implanted memories

I See fucking Anime scenes Ive never Seen before IN FIRST PERSON with PERFECT 2021 graphics and realistic Dreams arent Out of proportions Either .

If you die i think you Either get a new Life , a Short glimpse that your a Programm and then get a new Life ( Like hey Look you Got cucked all along now Back into the Simulation , Boy" ) or you Just sleep endlessy
 
Lately i dont remember almost any of my dreams but i know i know they are nightmares because when i wake up i feel like shit. Terrified, depressed, extremely confused. My mind already focused in horrible things.

There are some nights that i barely sleep 2 or 3 hours because i wake up so anxious that i cant go to sleep again. Then, there are days that i can sleep 16 hours straight because, for some reason, it works as you said: i actually rest, no nightmares (i guess) and after waking up i actually feel nothing, my mind actually resetted. Which is pretty good compared with what i usually feel.
 
As great as it feels to sleep, especially when you have a realistic dream, Its like experiencing the ultimate fuck you by God when you wake up

Sometimes I'd be so immersed in a dream that when I woke up I'd be confused and those are the most soul crushing ones, because you go from this amazing reality back into your real shitty life

On the other hand its suifuel as I'm lying in my bed and the drowsiness begins to kick in, I feel so cozy, its then that the thoughts of suicide really begin to creep in, because I realize that sleep is the closest thing to death that I get to experience, and it feels good, that peaceful nothingness, how calm and easy it would feel if everything would just slip away. Every nights rest is a reminder of how good it would be if your life finally ended
Interesting. When I wake up from a nice dream (especially if it involves romance and/or sex), the accompanying euphoria (dopamine?) remains in my system for a couple of hours. Of course it feels shitty to realize that everything was just illusion, but I still feel better for a short period thereafter.

I think - "It would not be so bad if I died in my sleep tonight
Incels die twice, were all already dead
Relatable thoughts.
Don't worry though, this won't last forever.
Every single day, we are a step closer to the end.

all my dreams are hyperrealistic-surrealistic leaning highly interactive disturbing nightmares
sometimes I am in war, apocalyptic scenarios, or having entire dialogues with long time dead, deceased relatives, or distant no longer friends/acquaintances
My dreams also often take place in surreal, apocalyptic or war-like environments. Strangely, these dreams are often not stressful, usually I'm just an observer or a minor participant.
My absolutely favorite dreams (apart from romantic/sexual ones) are those in which I spend all night admiring the night sky, witnessing phenomena that are realistically not possible, like another planet coming close to Earth, the Moon changing its color every minute, hundreds of comets lighting up the sky, etc. These are tremendous, very comfy.
 
If you were blindfolded and a man was sucking your dick but you thought it was a woman, would you be ok with that scenario because "well I don't know its a man so it doesn't matter" :feelskek:

Would you be ok with such a situation just because you wouldn't know?

Not knowing doesn't change nature of something


Then they would all die and go to heaven and realize that all the memories they cherish were fake and it never happened lol. I think you are forgetting that a "heaven" actually exists in the naruto universe


None of it is real so it isn't worth anything


:soy:
Cuck mindset
Its like saying you'd be alright with your wife cheating on you so long as you never find out
Its like saying you'd be alright raising a child born of an affair to adulthood so long as you never found out it wasn't yours

That's pathetic

How can you make fun of blue pillers when you are quite literally touting a blue pilled mindset (being willfully ignorant of a harsh reality and choosing to believe a pleasing lie)
Don’t care. I’d still readyplayeronemaxx if it was reality. Fuck reality it isn’t fair at all. I’d sooner be put into an infinite tsukuyomi and live like a main character chad than to live this shitty miserable life so that i’m “not a cuck”. Jfl.
Interesting. When I wake up from a nice dream (especially if it involves romance and/or sex), the accompanying euphoria (dopamine?) remains in my system for a couple of hours. Of course it feels shitty to realize that everything was just illusion, but I still feel better for a short period thereafter.


Relatable thoughts.
Don't worry though, this won't last forever.
Every single day, we are a step closer to the end.


My dreams also often take place in surreal, apocalyptic or war-like environments. Strangely, these dreams are often not stressful, usually I'm just an observer or a minor participant.
My absolutely favorite dreams (apart from romantic/sexual ones) are those in which I spend all night admiring the night sky, witnessing phenomena that are realistically not possible, like another planet coming close to Earth, the Moon changing its color every minute, hundreds of comets lighting up the sky, etc. These are tremendous, very comfy.
Brootal because I either never dream or never remember my dreams. When I was a kid I had hyper realistic night terrors every single night. I remember them so vividly as well. Every single night would be me vulnerable in some environment in which I have mo control. For example I remember having a dread in which I was drugged trying to run from some man trying to kidnapp me in w a dark warhouse.
 
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Yes because its fake, to me that shit ruined naruto even further (it was trash to begin with) because they took this mega villain and made his grand scheme to be some childish make believe world
Aizen had a better plan he wanted to end the rule of the soul king and corrupt soul society who literally are shit at their jobs and have extreme unfairness in the 'heaven' he had to transcend all boundaries to become a godlike being. If urahaha didn’t of seal him and he would of evolved again they would of lost.
He has a speech at the end that I agree with to around 13:00:

View: https://youtu.be/XFJh_5wmgOI


Also bleach manga has returned theirs a new arc about hell after blood war arc.
 
I don't even dream.. most of my dreams are nothing but suffering, I constantly distract myself during my awake hours just to try and get away from my thoughts. And if I lie in bed I can't get to sleep because it is when I am inactive and if I'm inactive I always think about suicide and simulate what it would feel like to die in the ways I fantasise. Even when I am awake my mind is not too far away from the thoughts of ending my life.
 
All I do is sleep but i'm still so tired, it's constant and nagging, so I sleep, I wake up and it returns shortly after.
 

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