BlkPillPres
Self-banned
-
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2018
- Posts
- 19,752
I always feel conflicted with the way I feel about sleep
On one hand its lifefuel because it is my only real escape from my shitty life, for a few hours I don't have to think about what my life is like. For a few hours I don't have to suffer, and the weirdest feeling is that sensation of peace you have when you wake up in the morning right before it dawns upon you again "oh yeah, this is my life, I was sleeping". All you got was a momentary escape.
As great as it feels to sleep, especially when you have a realistic dream, Its like experiencing the ultimate fuck you by God when you wake up
Sometimes I'd be so immersed in a dream that when I woke up I'd be confused and those are the most soul crushing ones, because you go from this amazing reality back into your real shitty life
On the other hand its suifuel as I'm lying in my bed and the drowsiness begins to kick in, I feel so cozy, its then that the thoughts of suicide really begin to creep in, because I realize that sleep is the closest thing to death that I get to experience, and it feels good, that peaceful nothingness, how calm and easy it would feel if everything would just slip away. Every nights rest is a reminder of how good it would be if your life finally ended
I think - "It would not be so bad if I died in my sleep tonight"
Years of living as an incel has completely killed any fear of death I used to have, and I think fearing death is something that is essential to "being human". The reason why so many of us become so "numb" and emotionally dead is because all the stakes are gone for us
Incels die twice, were all already dead
On one hand its lifefuel because it is my only real escape from my shitty life, for a few hours I don't have to think about what my life is like. For a few hours I don't have to suffer, and the weirdest feeling is that sensation of peace you have when you wake up in the morning right before it dawns upon you again "oh yeah, this is my life, I was sleeping". All you got was a momentary escape.
As great as it feels to sleep, especially when you have a realistic dream, Its like experiencing the ultimate fuck you by God when you wake up
Sometimes I'd be so immersed in a dream that when I woke up I'd be confused and those are the most soul crushing ones, because you go from this amazing reality back into your real shitty life
On the other hand its suifuel as I'm lying in my bed and the drowsiness begins to kick in, I feel so cozy, its then that the thoughts of suicide really begin to creep in, because I realize that sleep is the closest thing to death that I get to experience, and it feels good, that peaceful nothingness, how calm and easy it would feel if everything would just slip away. Every nights rest is a reminder of how good it would be if your life finally ended
I think - "It would not be so bad if I died in my sleep tonight"
Years of living as an incel has completely killed any fear of death I used to have, and I think fearing death is something that is essential to "being human". The reason why so many of us become so "numb" and emotionally dead is because all the stakes are gone for us
Incels die twice, were all already dead
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