self-hatred pill is brutal

[iblamemyself_0]

after 9th grade everything went downhill for me, and now at 19 i hate my fucking self more than anything in this cruel universe, i cannot bring myself to love and cherish my own pathetic existence, i lack self-esteem and ever since i discovered the blackpill it completely crushed the way i perceive this world entierly and totally fucked up my social skills even more, this is my first year in college and it's my lowest so far, i have made no friends, my rommate is an egoistical piece of shit that i do not talk to that often, ive never had female presence in my life, i have almost no one to chat with or talk to neither online or irl, i sit alone all the time observing my peers enjoying their youth while i rot all the time in my house living in total solitude trying to distract myself via media consumption and playing video games, people my age are going out experiencing life while im at home analyzing my face and body from every angle trying to figure out what's wrong with me, that's enough for my first post, i'll share more next time if you guys even give a fuck, idk maybe renting out on the internet in a community that may get me and know what i mean could ease this agony a bit, im still on my ascension journey im doing whatever i can to reach higher ranks on the looks scale, i suspect that by 2028 i'll probably be htn+, maybe then i'll get to experience life to the fullest but im not very optimistic about it, because no matter how hard i try this feeling of deep hatred towards myself never seems to vanish or ease a bit, actually it's growing even more along with the emptiness inside of me, if you reached the end of this post i want you to know that i really appreciate it and wish you the best, don't forget to drop a piece of advice down there or any cope that could help me or share your story with, once again thanks and see ya <33

 

[sub5ricemale]

Dnr GrAY

 

[McFlurryCel]

i nevER blamE myself, it is the fucking world who is retarded

 

[LeFrenchCel]

i nevER blamE myself, it is the fucking world who is retarded

 

[Cuckoja]

Relatable the self hate part. I hate everything about me. Positivity and self love preaching pisses me off.

 

[iblamemyself_0]

i nevER blamE myself, it is the fucking world who is retarded

there is really nothing to blame when you think about, everything was predetermined to be the way things are, i only blame myself partially for giving up and not even trying

 

[iblamemyself_0]

Relatable the self hate part. I hate everything about me. Positivity and self love preaching pisses me off.

self-hatred is the fuel to thrive, self confidence and love is the most pathetic cope ive ever seen

 

[cafepeanuts]

i had to give up the self hate pill because i was taking that pill nonstop. it was all i could think about and it even removed the enjoyment out of my regular spergy hobbies because i would constantly think about how im a short fuck. i still take the pill from time to time and get depressed about it but im glad that i dont have to rot in it anymore because i was close to killing myself. and at least i got to delay that by a few years or so

 

[iblamemyself_0]

i had to give up the self hate pill because i was taking that pill nonstop. it was all i could think about and it even removed the enjoyment out of my regular spergy hobbies because i would constantly think about how im a short fuck. i still take the pill from time to time and get depressed about it but im glad that i dont have to rot in it anymore because i was close to killing myself. and at least i got to delay that by a few years or so

how did you manage to do that, i legit cannot spend a reasonable amount of time without feeling deep hatred towards myself, even when i sometimes find my self smiling or starting to have fun it vanishes when i remember who the fuck am i

 

[cafepeanuts]

how did you manage to do that, i legit cannot spend a reasonable amount of time without feeling deep hatred towards myself, even when i sometimes find my self smiling or starting to have fun it vanishes when i remember who the fuck am i

ngl i dont know how i managed to do it. because i basically bathed in self hate for like 2 years straight. i think my brain is trying to protect itself because that was truly one of the most miserable times of my life. even though my life hasnt really improved at all since then and has gotten worse in some circumstances, my brain is just trying to protect me or something. and i have heckin autistic interests that keep me going i guess.

 

[Deleted member 8078]

i suspect that by 2028 i'll probably be htn+

So you're normie-tier in looks? Then you're probably just a "mentalcel" (i.e. a volcel in most cases), you should put yourself out there and approach foids to see where you really stand looks-wise, then come back here if you failed.

 

[iblamemyself_0]

So you're normie-tier in looks? Then you're probably just a "mentalcel" (i.e. a volcel in most cases), you should put yourself out there and approach foids to see where you really stand looks-wise, then come back here if you failed.

i used to be a sub5 for the most of my life, i cannot get rid of that image, i still perceive myself as one, i don't know how to approach these hypergamous foids, they're very shallow and careless, true genuine love is for chad only and on top of that im painfully nd which makes it even worse, most of my time i LDAR on .org, i recently discovered this place and im pretty sure, i belong in here as much as in .org