Theory What are your thoughts on 'self-reparenting'?

[UndeadDeadMan]

One time during therapy, I mentioned the lack of support from my parents when growing up, and how far behind I was compared to other people. At some point she says "become your own mom and dad". Basically what this implies is that I should just do everything on my own while pretending that my parents are there. Obviously I took this with a lot of skepticism, but eventually worked out a secondary technique that was actually useful - analyzing myself in 3rd person. I did become more self-aware around other people, and my quality of life improved by like 2%.

But I'm still skeptical about the main premise. In order to become my own parents, I would need to have the knowledge that THEY have, but didn't pass down to me. Not a structural solution to my problems, at all. Also, the kinds of trauma I had compared to the kinds of trauma my parents had don't always overlap. Out of curiosity, I researched if there was a term in modern psychology that described this idea of "being my own parents", and apparently it's called 'self-reparenting'.

And while the 'self-reparenting' is happening, if you want to get a job or go to college, you have to pretend that you're normal. You have to pretend those horrible things didn't happen to you, but no one fakes EVERYTHING perfectly because people are not machines. It's way too much overhead.

Let me know your thoughts on this. Have you heard about 'self-reparenting' in perhaps different contexts? Or is it the first time you hear this? Is it wishful thinking?

 

[LocalDrunkard2016]

weird , i dont think this would even work . You could use support from current friends or family which are friendly to you , much better

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

Only a foid would come up with retard shit like that

 

[nazianime]

Would that not be counter productive? If you are deluding yourself to thinking like your parents then is that not just another type of fake it or make it type cope? I thought phycologists were supposed to discourage behavior that is not normal to yourself.

 

[UndeadDeadMan]

Would that not be counter productive? If you are deluding yourself to thinking like your parents then is that not just another type of fake it or make it type cope? I thought phycologists were supposed to discourage behavior that is not normal to yourself.

Right?! It literally goes against the core principles that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) claims to have:

• "Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking."
• "Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior."
• "People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their lives."

I think the problem is that the therapists themselves are not subjected through these experiments and processes, so they have no way of knowing if what they're proposing is actually viable.

 

[BricABrac]

Yeah sounds fine. It's about becoming your own adult, so you pretend to be one for a bit in your own day to day life since your actual role models were useless in that department.

There are life lessons though, that they should have imparted and you will have to learn the hard way. No amount of "self parenting" will fill those gaps.

 

[fukurou]

sounds like some ABDL cope

 

[AutistSupremacist]

Only a foid would come up with retard shit like that