Some notable replies:
Just my two cents, but going to Pattaya won't fix your self-esteem. In fact, it could do the opposite. I struggle with the same things as you, and paying for sex only hurt my self-esteem even more. Not to say it's not fun or enjoyable, but it certainly doesn't fix any of my personal issues. There's literally millions of ugly dudes in awesome relationships out there, don't blame it on being ugly. I'm ugly as fuck and I've had some really great relationships. I know it's easier said than done, but work on yourself, work on liking yourself and improving yourself in different ways, and not caring so much about others' opinions about you, and I think it will make a huge difference.
Anyway, I don't mean to deter you from going, you should go and have an awesome time. But don't expect it to fix any underlying self-esteem issues. You're totally capable of that, it does take work though.
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Careful, bro. Thailand is fun for guys like us, but it might not be like you think. People—including the girls—will tease you for looking funny in Pattaya. Like I mean, laughing straight in your face while literally pointing out your flaws. I was made fun of for my deepest insecurity about my appearance on a daily bases, and often ended up depressed at the end of the night.
You’ll also face a lot of rejection. Most of those YouTubers must be decent looking, because I don’t even carry a camera around, and not only are girls hiding their faces from me, they flinch and flee back into the bar entrance area. They really go out of their way to dramatize their dislike for you as a way to discourage you from approaching them.
You’ll get the hang of it though. I felt better after a few cries and BJs. It felt nice to just let it all go after accepting I’m really unwanted worldwide.
