Rate this poem I made up

[Dr. Autismo]

I made a miniature snowman, as perfect as can be.
I took him back home and let him stay with me.
I made him pyjamas and a pillow for his head.
But last night he ran away, but first he wet the bed!

 

[THE TRUE SIGMA]

 

[antipode]

plagiarism

 

[Ahnfeltia]

I'm not big on the double "but" in the last line, but otherwise I like it. Maybe replace the first "but" by "yet"?

 

[Ahnfeltia]

plagiarism

elab

 

[SoycuckGodOfReddit]

elab

shel (((silverstein)))

 

[Ahnfeltia]

shel (((silverstein)))

thanks

 

[Ahnfeltia]

not cool Dr Plagiarismo

 

[antipode]

elab

I MADE MYSELF A SNOWBALL
by Shel Silverstein

I made myself a snowball,
as perfect as could be.
I thought I’d keep it as a pet,
and let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first it wet the bed!

 

[antipode]

tbh the poem works better as a snowman. a snowball does not need pajamas or a pillow!!

 

[Ahnfeltia]

I MADE MYSELF A SNOWBALL
by Shel Silverstein

I made myself a snowball,
as perfect as could be.
I thought I’d keep it as a pet,
and let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first it wet the bed!

@SoycuckGodOfReddit already enlighted me, but thanks notwithstanding

 

[Ahnfeltia]

tbh the poem works better as a snowman. a snowball does not need pajamas or a pillow!!

now that you mention it

 

[SoycuckGodOfReddit]

I made myself a snow angel,
as perfect as could be.
I thought I’d keep it as a wife,
and let it sleep with me.
I made it a wedding dress
and a collar for its neck,
Then last night it ran away,
But first it fucked someone else!
I caught it, and put it in my rape van,
It tries to escape, but it's forever mine!

shades of james blunt

 

[Dr. Autismo]

not cool Dr Plagiarismo

You have me mistaken for my brother, Professor Plagrismo.

 

[Ahnfeltia]

You have me mistaken for my brother, Professor Plagrismo.

oh dear, my sincerest apologies good sir