Venting Random mood swing ruined my night

[SilverBullet]

Anyone else ever experience this?
Earlier, I ate some goyslop, and decided afterwards I'd play vidya. As I got ready to rot for the next 8 hours in my bed, I got hit with this sudden wave of dread. I no longer wanted to do anything in that moment besides rope. I just felt this hole in my chest and stomach for the next few hours. Now I'm sitting in front of my computer typing this. On most occasions I just feel numb, and don't feel much of anything. But I just realized what I'll never have in that moment. I'll never be truly desired by a woman, it's impossible. Women are just insanely shallow, and I'm a genetic dead-end. This is the fate of most men, even if they manage to "ascend". A mundane, mediocre life.

The game I was playing was a simulator, but contained romantic subtext (you can marry one of the girl's). I loaded into the intro of the game, and I just realized how much the MC mogged me. He lives in a village where he can be truly desired by women. A world without kike overlords, without some dreadful job you have to work for 50 years until you die in a hospital bed... a world with meaning. I know it's fiction, but it's hard for me to accept the reality sometimes that I'll never have this. I constantly wish the women in the copes I coonsume were real because I know women irl aren't like this. I wish I could live in this fictional world instead of this gynocentric hell hole we live in now.

A lot of this relates back to a post @Hoodpreet made, where our modern lives just lack meaning.

 

[Spiteful Mutant]

Sometimes I feel this way post nut, and instead of feelings of tranquility I just start thinking about how much my life is garbage. That and reflecting on everything that has happened up to this point in my life seriously makes me want to rope. Everything in real life pales in comparison to fiction, which is why humans have dabbled in it for millennia. Life, especially now, is just incredibly mundane when you get down to brass tacks.

Most normal people are playing the demo version of life whereas Chads or very influential people in society get to play the real thing. It's depressing knowing that this is all there is to life, and that there will be no conflict to be had, no character arc, no rising action, no climax. Modern living of course exacerbates those feelings of emptiness, and I likely wouldn't feel this way if I had been born centuries ago before everything became gay and retarded. I've read the post you've linked to and I can't help but feel the same way.

 

[autisticsoy]

Whats the title of the game?

 

[chalk son]

Yeah a few days ago when I finished reading a manga I was cheery on the inside and then I kept breathing which isn't a good sign for anything to come and remain that way. It's almost like full body paralysis persisting from the deep emptiness. Everything is mediocre and so am I is how I've been feeling these days. I go out at times for a walk or fresh air and I feel no different when I get back. I think when the emptiness gets too much you can't control even the miniscule outwardly informed yet subtle symptoms you're guessing to challenge by vegetative retention

 

[SilverBullet]

Sometimes I feel this way post nut, and instead of feelings of tranquility I just start thinking about how much my life is garbage. That and reflecting on everything that has happened up to this point in my life seriously makes me want to rope. Everything in real life pales in comparison to fiction, which is why humans have dabbled in it for millennia. Life, especially now, is just incredibly mundane when you get down to brass tacks.

Most normal people are playing the demo version of life whereas Chads or very influential people in society get to play the real thing. It's depressing knowing that this is all there is to life, and that there will be no conflict to be had, no character arc, no rising action, no climax. Modern living of course exacerbates those feelings of emptiness, and I likely wouldn't feel this way if I had been born centuries ago before everything became gay and retarded. I've read the post you've linked to and I can't help but feel the same way.

yea in that thread I linked I explained how I wouldn't mind physical labor. It's absolutely brutal on your body, but it's distracting and purposeful. Any role in a small village is. I do believe this is how humans were supposed to live, not in giant cities slaving away in cubicles. There's no sense of community anymore, that's why I'm more inclined to say we live in "locations" rather than communities.

 

[SilverBullet]

Whats the title of the game?

Rune Factory Frontier. I was playing on my homebrew Wii.

 

[SilverBullet]

Yeah a few days ago when I finished reading a manga I was cheery on the inside and then I kept breathing which isn't a good sign for anything to come and remain that way. It's almost like full body paralysis persisting from the deep emptiness. Everything is mediocre and so am I is how I've been feeling these days. I go out at times for a walk or fresh air and I feel no different when I get back. I think when the emptiness gets too much you can't control even the miniscule outwardly informed yet subtle symptoms you're guessing to challenge by vegetative retention

Night walks have usually been my way to cope. Get some fresh air while reflecting on my thoughts (All great philosophers recommend articulating thoughts on walks). But since I didn't have that option, I sat in my chair, eventually realizing what you just said. I'd come right back home and still feel shitty.