LDAR Profound feelings of "why bother"

[ONION BURPS]

There isn't even any emotion behind my life anymore. The anger isn't there. Sadness is gone. It feels like a deeper sensation than numbness.

Like I have finally hit the bottom level of LDAR. I reside where words cannot even penetrate or describe the feeling of "done-ness" I am with this reality.

I walk around my city (still homeless btw) in complete dumbfound-ment. I probably look like I'm on heroin or escaped a mental asylum. I almost feel a drugged level of numbness. My jaw is slacked and I shuffle to-and-fro aimless.

I do just enough doordash to eat and I return to the library or my sleeping spot. I nap almost constantly. My brain is empty.

Am I reaching incel enlightenment ? I feel like a LDAR monk tbh

 

[yakusai]

I feel like a LDAR monk tbh

This is actually (probably) not that far from the life of an actual monk. Still, this is unfortunate. I hope you're able to find shelter soon.

 

[HyperboreanCavalier]

This situation sounds hopeless tbh, + the emotional state sounds relatable, I often have streaks of unfeeling, my emotions come in streaks always it would seem these days. Never solid blocks of a single state but in streaks. Hope you find shelter soon. I'm sure you know best but have you considered becoming a woodland hermit and just building your own house in the woods?