wired my braind the way it is today. You either are born socially inept or made. I was made since as a child I had never had any problems with socialization. The gaslighting abusive family and then bullying added fuel to the fire.
So, that's why unattractive guys in my scale of beauty 5/10 can be confident to smash someone's face or to compete at work or sports whatever. I am fuckin afraid. I mean, I did fought people with bare fists but it's not like it gained me social status etc. that's why it never made me confident.
Those who have healthy families if they lose they pick them up, in my case fuckin foid family was bashing me and gaslighting me into thinking I AM ALWAYS AT FAULT.
That's why my self-esteem is zero nowadays and it is for the reason. Simple as telling roommate to stop doing some shit, I have to preper to it mentally before I do it, since when I was a child when I disagreed or was treated badly or unfairly either I was smacked in the face by stepfather and yelled at or in school people would bring other people and torment me physically and mentally.
(last roommate which was ukrainian *that's why i hate them subhumans* I told them to lock the door of the house politely and he started making fun of me and yellin at me, that's why I beated him so bad he was bleeding. That's why I know people will always resist me at anything)
It's all in my head now right psychiatrists/globohomo and rest right? In 1% you are right, it is in my brain and to be accurate IN MY SUBCOUNSCIOUS 'cause when my brain was developing THE MOST I had LOTS OF TRAUMA that fucked me up to this day and even though I tried being tough many years I still go to square one.
So it is not MENTAL ILLNESS/DISORDER, but EXTERNAL WORLD caused the way my brain DEVELOPED and my brain is scared of many thing FOR THE REASON OF THE PAST EXPIERIENCE YOU FUCKS.
I hate life and I hope I will die soon.
So, that's why unattractive guys in my scale of beauty 5/10 can be confident to smash someone's face or to compete at work or sports whatever. I am fuckin afraid. I mean, I did fought people with bare fists but it's not like it gained me social status etc. that's why it never made me confident.
Those who have healthy families if they lose they pick them up, in my case fuckin foid family was bashing me and gaslighting me into thinking I AM ALWAYS AT FAULT.
That's why my self-esteem is zero nowadays and it is for the reason. Simple as telling roommate to stop doing some shit, I have to preper to it mentally before I do it, since when I was a child when I disagreed or was treated badly or unfairly either I was smacked in the face by stepfather and yelled at or in school people would bring other people and torment me physically and mentally.
(last roommate which was ukrainian *that's why i hate them subhumans* I told them to lock the door of the house politely and he started making fun of me and yellin at me, that's why I beated him so bad he was bleeding. That's why I know people will always resist me at anything)
It's all in my head now right psychiatrists/globohomo and rest right? In 1% you are right, it is in my brain and to be accurate IN MY SUBCOUNSCIOUS 'cause when my brain was developing THE MOST I had LOTS OF TRAUMA that fucked me up to this day and even though I tried being tough many years I still go to square one.
So it is not MENTAL ILLNESS/DISORDER, but EXTERNAL WORLD caused the way my brain DEVELOPED and my brain is scared of many thing FOR THE REASON OF THE PAST EXPIERIENCE YOU FUCKS.
I hate life and I hope I will die soon.
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