As far as my outward appearance is concerned, I could never pass as a normie. My shortness and my disability are just too bizarre.
Still, I will from time to time pay lip service to the bluepill ideals of bourgeois normiedom. Not because I actually believe in those anymore, of course, but to make what little I have in the way of a social life bearable.
When I was still in my MGTOW phase I'd sometimes talk to my male friends about it. They'd nod politely whenever I regurgitated some manospherian truism; but I could see in their eyes that they'd bitten into the bluepill fantasy hook, line, and sinker. All are married now, some with kids. None impress me as particularly successful or happy husbands. The blackpill I never discuss offline. It would be a lethal overdose of reality for all of them, even if they could understand what I was talking about.
Whenever some bluepiller offers me "advice", like "don't give up", I will nod with all the enthusiasm that I can muster. I will sometimes even blurt out stuff like: she must be out there somewhere. Again, not because I actually believe it, but because it tends to make my interlocutor happy. It confirms their view of the world as an essentially benevolent, hopeful place.
People view me, even my friends I think, as a slightly pathetic disabled loser, who nonetheless keeps his spirits up. To be honest, I kinda like that image of myself; it's vaguely inspirational. But deep down it's all a fucking lie. I am a failed and discarded plaything of Nature, who doesn't give a single fuck about any of her creations. I know it, everyone knows it (in the back of their minds), but we all keep dancing around it. Until one day the jig is up, and everyone will be wondering out loud why Divergent Integral, our cheerful, intelligent, brave friend, roped. But all will know the reason deep down; it isn't fucking rocket science after all.
Still, I will from time to time pay lip service to the bluepill ideals of bourgeois normiedom. Not because I actually believe in those anymore, of course, but to make what little I have in the way of a social life bearable.
When I was still in my MGTOW phase I'd sometimes talk to my male friends about it. They'd nod politely whenever I regurgitated some manospherian truism; but I could see in their eyes that they'd bitten into the bluepill fantasy hook, line, and sinker. All are married now, some with kids. None impress me as particularly successful or happy husbands. The blackpill I never discuss offline. It would be a lethal overdose of reality for all of them, even if they could understand what I was talking about.
Whenever some bluepiller offers me "advice", like "don't give up", I will nod with all the enthusiasm that I can muster. I will sometimes even blurt out stuff like: she must be out there somewhere. Again, not because I actually believe it, but because it tends to make my interlocutor happy. It confirms their view of the world as an essentially benevolent, hopeful place.
People view me, even my friends I think, as a slightly pathetic disabled loser, who nonetheless keeps his spirits up. To be honest, I kinda like that image of myself; it's vaguely inspirational. But deep down it's all a fucking lie. I am a failed and discarded plaything of Nature, who doesn't give a single fuck about any of her creations. I know it, everyone knows it (in the back of their minds), but we all keep dancing around it. Until one day the jig is up, and everyone will be wondering out loud why Divergent Integral, our cheerful, intelligent, brave friend, roped. But all will know the reason deep down; it isn't fucking rocket science after all.
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