Just today I realized that even though I'd had the general idea in my head for quite some time. I've always been called shitty names, but mostly "school shooter" by many of the old classes I was in, from what I recall. I did resent that and just brushed it off as bullying, but I must have been overlooking the reasoning.
I remember around 2 years ago during P.E., I was in the locker room, and a group of guys approached me when i was sitting down and called me out with the standard "Will you be bringing a bomb to school?" I always laugh everything off because I can't really do much, so I said "Yeah" sarcastically to get them off my back. Obviously, they were either oblivious or intentionally ignorant, because they started fake-gasping, telling me not to shoot them, and mentioning the times they "helped me." Then one piece of shit said that Judy Hopps is sexy as an insult (context: This nosy piece of shit once peered into my phone when I was scrolling through TikTok in class. He decided to pull the phone out of my hands, started scrolling himself, came to a video about Rule 34 Judy Hopps x that fox guy or some shit then started laughing, and called me a gooner. I don't even jerk off to Rule 34.) The standard bullshit. All I could do was stand there and take it like a cuck.
However, today I was reminiscing and it suddenly hit me. Have some people been faking their niceness because I look like a deranged, retarded cunt who would go on a rampage? It'd explain so much especially the constant smiling, the awkward approaching with requests, my very presence ruining their socialization, etc.
But fuck, it hurts kinda. Because I recall only a few people ever trying to talk to me and be friendly and this is the reason?
I remember around 2 years ago during P.E., I was in the locker room, and a group of guys approached me when i was sitting down and called me out with the standard "Will you be bringing a bomb to school?" I always laugh everything off because I can't really do much, so I said "Yeah" sarcastically to get them off my back. Obviously, they were either oblivious or intentionally ignorant, because they started fake-gasping, telling me not to shoot them, and mentioning the times they "helped me." Then one piece of shit said that Judy Hopps is sexy as an insult (context: This nosy piece of shit once peered into my phone when I was scrolling through TikTok in class. He decided to pull the phone out of my hands, started scrolling himself, came to a video about Rule 34 Judy Hopps x that fox guy or some shit then started laughing, and called me a gooner. I don't even jerk off to Rule 34.) The standard bullshit. All I could do was stand there and take it like a cuck.
However, today I was reminiscing and it suddenly hit me. Have some people been faking their niceness because I look like a deranged, retarded cunt who would go on a rampage? It'd explain so much especially the constant smiling, the awkward approaching with requests, my very presence ruining their socialization, etc.
But fuck, it hurts kinda. Because I recall only a few people ever trying to talk to me and be friendly and this is the reason?
