
qbicus
subhuman spicel
★★★★★
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2023
- Posts
- 485
I absolutely hate my body and the biggest cope I get for it is "you have to work on your self on the inside that is what counts." My mind is a robotic slush, its ony good for copying others or making mudhuts. If a society and or race were clones of me we would still be hunter and gatherers that use shit to build homes and never figured out how to make a sewage system. I try to take up hobbies, reading, and writing but its a constant reminder on how empty and dull I really am on the inside, and how my mind can't read higher end english. It is unable to process information and remember things. It is extremely superficial. I can't design, I can't create, and everything I make does not sit well, not as good and authentic as good creators. It's just a reflection of how soulless I am. Why can't my mother outright tell me "You are a fucking subhuman, are are an abomination, you will not amount to anything and your life is going to be unfulfilling due to the shitty bloodline." Is that so fucking hard? Every beautiful thing I take turns into an ugly abomination. Only clothes I look good in are homeless clothing and the aesthetic is only as good as a crack addict. Wouldn't it be nice to inherit resourcefulness and mental stamina at least to make up for my empty dull niggertized appearance. Does my personality and behavior have to match up with how I look as well? I can't stand living like this anymore, not another day, but im afraid my soul, ghost, or whatever the fuck it is will just be an extension of me. That my identity is real and will be saved under gods magic fucking cloud. So much for having a savior if my mutt genes prohibit me from being authentic.