G
Ghost
Major
★
- Joined
- May 2, 2018
- Posts
- 2,046
Because my formative years that were supposed to be spent socializing and developing social skills were spent fighting and fending off bullies.
I went from being directly bullied and physically attacked to being isolated and excluded because I have fought back. Took a lot of detention and suspension in the process.
My fighting skills were honed in high school to the point that when I joined an MMA gym (that also taught kenpo karate), the sensei thought I had previous training because I was able to beat blue belt level or lower fighters on day 1. He told me that some of my movements and reactions were similar to that of an experienced fighter.
Anyway, I'm deer in the headlights in social situations. I can't make friends and properly socially interact with normies even if I tried.
I'm already halfway through my life as I'm 35+
It's over for me socially that's why I'm mentally detached from this world and it made me feel a lot better mentally detaching from this world and hoping for a better afterlife.
I'm not suicidal. I plan to stay here as long as possible to pay off my bad karma so my next life will be better.
I understand that cutting my life short will have serious spiritual consequences in the form of either Hellfire as described by Christians, Muslims, and Jews... or a repeat of my current life in the best case scenario.
Either way that's Hell.
So suicide is totally NOT an option.
I went from being directly bullied and physically attacked to being isolated and excluded because I have fought back. Took a lot of detention and suspension in the process.
My fighting skills were honed in high school to the point that when I joined an MMA gym (that also taught kenpo karate), the sensei thought I had previous training because I was able to beat blue belt level or lower fighters on day 1. He told me that some of my movements and reactions were similar to that of an experienced fighter.
Anyway, I'm deer in the headlights in social situations. I can't make friends and properly socially interact with normies even if I tried.
I'm already halfway through my life as I'm 35+
It's over for me socially that's why I'm mentally detached from this world and it made me feel a lot better mentally detaching from this world and hoping for a better afterlife.
I'm not suicidal. I plan to stay here as long as possible to pay off my bad karma so my next life will be better.
I understand that cutting my life short will have serious spiritual consequences in the form of either Hellfire as described by Christians, Muslims, and Jews... or a repeat of my current life in the best case scenario.
Either way that's Hell.
So suicide is totally NOT an option.