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My Perfect Naruto Characters

D. B. Gooner

D. B. Gooner

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★★★★★
Joined
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997
These characters' writing mimic major revelations I have come to in my life. Even if some of them lack general appeal (not cool/likeable), I consider them perfect, and the message around them to be important.

1. Kabuto & Identity

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Character Synopsis
Kabuto loses his memory as a child. Not knowing his name, his family or his hometown, he gets ridiculed by the kids in his orphanage. His adoptive mother finally gives him a name, Kabuto, because of the helmet he was wearing. She figures out he has issues with vision and lends him her own glasses. Despite the fact that the glasses didn't fully suit him and his vision was still blurry, these items, given to him by his adoptive mother, essentially become his identity. As he could not figure out what his own identity was, he seeks it from the world around him. Danzo pressures the orphanage into giving them a child that would serve as a spy. He spends years living under false identities, in every single great nation, with his name and glasses being the only reminder of who he really was. Eventually, he battles his adoptive mother, also working as a spy for Danzo, do the death. He finds out she had forgotten him, leaving him distraught and once again confused on who he really is. He then gets told by Orochimaru that by taking everyone else's ninjutsu, you can become a perfect being. In Kabuto's mind, an identity is something you obtain from others, that's how it's been his whole life. During his fight with Itachi, another spy, Kabuto lashes out at him, calling him a pathological liar. The difference is, while Itachi lied to everyone else in his life, he never lied to himself. He made his questionable decisions at a young age, and stuck by them until the end of his life. In what many call an asspull, Itachi traps Kabuto in an infinite loop, the izanami, until he accepts his true self. This loop mimics Kabuto's continuous attempts at stealing other people's characteristics, yet never being satisfied with the results and never feeling like he knows who he is and where he stands in this world. Despite not needing glasses due to his Sage powers, he clings on to his glasses desperately, as they are the only identifying attribute he was given by another person. Symbolically, they make his vision blurry, as if to say that they will never allow him to see his true self. Itachi removes them from Kabuto's unconscious body, signifying that once he accepts that your identity comes from the inside, and not the outside, he will be able to see himself clearly.

Why he clicks for me:
I too have spent my whole life gathering hobbies, interests, ideologies, thinking that they made me who I am. I have always felt like a boring person, like there was nothing to set me apart from the general population. I now understand who I am. I just am. There is no nuance to it, I am not my hobbies, I am not my religion, I am not my beliefs, I am just me. Eventually all the facades you put up will be seen through, and you will have to accept what the essence of your being is. Sounds stupid and simple but it's important. I'm agnostic but I like how the Abrahamic gods name is "I am". I never understood it as a kid but I do now.
My very first (and most successful) .is thread is about this very topic, so you know Kabuto speaks to me on a personal level:

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2. Kisame & Trust

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Character Synopsis
Kisame is a ninja, loyal to his village. He is tasked with protecting the village's intel while escorting the cypher corps. Unable to protect them, he is forced to take their lives, thus making sure the intel never leaks. He does this constantly, getting close to comrades, only to be forced to take their lives. He finds out that the very feudal lord that was ordering him to protect the village intel by any means necessary, was selling intel to enemy villages behind his back. Enraged, he murders him and takes up his sword. He is approached by Obito and buys into the Infinite Tsukuyomi plan, as in this fake world, there would be no more lies. To him the real world was no less fake than the Tsukuyomi. He believes that he, like a shark, was born a depraved cannibal, eating away at his own siblings from the moment he was born. Kisame gets caught by the Leaf village, but before they can pull any intel out of him, he symbolically summons his own sharks, letting them rip him apart and eat him alive. In the end, he was never a liar, he kept himself to the same standard he held others.

Why he clicks for me:
I went through life believing in others. Not just the people I knew in life, but the world as a whole. I believed family members, teachers, doctors, only for their suggestions to be the complete opposite of what I now believe I should have been doing. Every habit and lifestyle practice I had in the past was false, and it completely impaired me. It ruined my youth. I have decided not to put my faith in anyone, and to find out what is true or not through trial and error. You were a real one Kisame.

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3. Madara & Transhumanism

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Character Synopsis
After a hard, war-riddled life, Madara is dissatisfied with the very laws of nature. He rejects a world where there are both winners and losers, a world where people obtain happiness through others' suffering. He believes every human is just a tool to be used, and he treats them as such, viewing humans as stepping stones towards his Infinite Tsukuyomi plan. Yet, he believes he can rise above this human constraint. That he alone is not a tool, that he will rise above the limits of humanity and enforce his perfect world as a demi-god. That dream is cut short, as we find out he was also being used as a tool. And who better to use him than a non-human like Black Zetsu, confirming Madara's belief that all humans are tools, himself included. This is the most hated twist in the story, even though it was foreshadowed and makes perfect sense as a conclusion to his character.

Why he clicks for me:
As I entered high school, I grew apart from all my friends and never managed to connect with anyone else. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought the way I was was somehow bad. I saw everyone else as an ideal human. They had friends, relationships, they were happy and healthy. Unlike Madara who saw himself as superior to humans, I saw myself as inferior. Now I know, I am not only on par with most people, most of them are even bigger losers than I am. I thought there were core parts of my humanity I needed to change in order to fit in, but I was wrong. It was civilization that was anti-human, not me. I am perfect the way I am. The more we tried to get away from the essence of humanity (the way we ate, lived) the worse our lives got. Everyone is depressed, anxious, insecure. It's because we try to change reality. The very technology which was meant to make our lives easier has degenerated us to the point where we might never come back from.

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4. Rock Lee & Effort

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Character Synopsis
In a world that revolves around chakra, Rock Lee is unable to mold his, rendering him weak and uncapable of being a shinobi. He is sold a dream by his sensei Might Guy. Through years of non-stop blood-drawing hard work, he manages to hang with the top ninja of his generation. He faces Gaara, a talented ninja born a demon, who hasn't worked a day in his life. Lee's technique requires him to sacrifice his body in order to achieve momentary power. His bones shatter as he batters Gaara. And in the end... He loses. In fact he loses every battle he has ever had in the show, and by the end of it he fades into the background.

Why he clicks for me:
Now I'm not the biggest Lee fan, and that's mostly because I can be a contrarian sometimes. I hate how most of the fanbase pushes the false notion that "Hard work beats talent" is the theme of the whole show when it's not. And as we see with Lee, hard work doesn't beat talent at all. That's why he is genuinely the best representation of hard work in fiction. He destroys his own body for a power spike, only to lose nonetheless. He is the ultimate redpill coper, who receives no love from the people in his life, so he tries to compensate by becoming a "splendid shinobi" as if that matters at all. Stop coping Lee, go be a fisherman somewhere, you'd be a 1000x happier.

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I don't watch Naruto but this looks interesting
 
my fav character is danzo
 
kabuto had insane potential he should have been the main villain not those cucked subhuman uchihas
 
he was just a side villain basically sidelined by cuckchihas in the end
He had a whole volume dedicated to him. Him being a background character for most of the story up until that point perfectly fits him as a guy who is insecure about not being seen as a unique person by the people around him.
 
My favorite character is Tsunade because she has big fat tits
 
Dang could've added jiraiya I had some stuff for him too.
 

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