I was forced into neurotypical standards whether I would fit into them or not. My own feelings, mental state, thoughts, and words never mattered. What I said and my own free will were never a consideration. Whenever I would tell my parents that I don't fit in or that I shouldn't be here. I was always told that I was "wrong" to think that way and was forced into traumatic circumstances. It never matters what I said to them. They would never listen and were incapable of even comprehending my circumstances. I couldn't tell them anything that would make us uncomfortable because it wouldn't change their behavior anyway. Eventually, I just became mute around my family because they didn't care about what I thought about anything. Appearances were always more important than my mental health.
Something that I admire about white families is that the parents actually listen to their children, care about their mental health, and will adjust their behavior to accommodate whatever issues their son is going through. They give them free will and agency. The ability to say "no" and explain why with parents who are willing to listen must give them an overwhelming sense of being heard.
In brown households, everything is about maintaining appearances and fulfilling cultural obligations. You become a machine slave to your parents with no will of your own.
I feel like nobody understands me. I may as well be an alien because my experiences are so radically different from what white people have to go through. Even whites from dysfunctional families aren't dysfunctional in the same way. So I basically have nobody to turn to because nobody can even begin to understand.
Something that I admire about white families is that the parents actually listen to their children, care about their mental health, and will adjust their behavior to accommodate whatever issues their son is going through. They give them free will and agency. The ability to say "no" and explain why with parents who are willing to listen must give them an overwhelming sense of being heard.
In brown households, everything is about maintaining appearances and fulfilling cultural obligations. You become a machine slave to your parents with no will of your own.
I feel like nobody understands me. I may as well be an alien because my experiences are so radically different from what white people have to go through. Even whites from dysfunctional families aren't dysfunctional in the same way. So I basically have nobody to turn to because nobody can even begin to understand.
