My parents are mad at me I'm not "better"

[The Wolf]

It is mostly internal "disappointment", or more like anger. Sometimes expressed in one of a variety of ways.

"Others your age earn double," "it's not normal to earn so little at your age," "it's not normal to study online," (they said this 2 years ago now I have a job studies are finished)", "you do so much bad things" (like accidentally breaking the washing machine, but if I say I'll pay for the repair they get mad; quotes on how I am very abnormal and how I never help (this second part is strictly untrue).

Last time my dad said, "get a job" (I literally have a job rn, it's an internship and I earn money, and then I said but I have job and he said, a better paying one. But I can't find any such job.)

My parents are mad at me, even if my overall situation is shaped by factors outside of my control. They are mad at me, for my symptoms of ADHD, autism, and social anxiety, and underestimate how hard it is to control these.

Of course, they do not care I do not have, and never will have a girlfriend, but rather think that I should get over yourself, you silly boy (this isn't what they said, but it's how they think). And they also tell themselves, "he'll get over it", while at the same always saying how lying to oneself is one of the biggest shit you can do. They think I should just stop wanting a gf, and have often tried to talk me out of wanting one, as they know it's impossible for me. But what bothers me more is that they think I should, and can if I would only try hard enough, to stop wanting one.

They have the "others have it worse, others are paralyzed; you have a roof over your head and food on the table, and are still not happy," mindset, and have explicitly said this quote once.

I am 29. Especially my mom does a lot for me like buying food, clothes (not bad ones, just normal, some I guess quite "stylish" not that it matters to me or anyone), and cooking. And perhaps understandably she has complained a lot about this in the last 6-12 months. But I'm not allowed to cook either. But living with them is becoming unbearable. They are always quite mean to me, and their internal caring about me only reaches so far as what they think is right for me.

I cannot afford my own place and due to my autism I need assistance in some stuff. But I think they are both narcissistic/NPD, I have observed this for months now and also read books about that personality style. Of course I am not qualified to say for sure but it reflects what I read.

 

[Pancakecel]

They should be grateful you even bothered finding a job, considering the shit you have to deal with, when it comes to people. It seems they're in denial.

I think they've been trying to delude themselves, about your reality, for many years, but now the truth is coming to hit them. It's kinda like the walls are closing in, if you want an analogy, and they don't know how to deal with it.

 

[The Wolf]

They should be grateful you even bothered finding a job, considering the shit you have to deal with, when it comes to people. It seems they're in denial.

I think they've been trying to delude themselves, about your reality, for many years, but now the truth is coming to hit them. It's kinda like the walls are closing in, if you want an analogy, and they don't know how to deal with it.

That is true.

 

[VersoffenerAssi]

Ich wäre stolz auf dich, wenn ich dein Vater wäre.
Deine Eltern sind bescheuert, wenn sie wirklich solchen Unsinn reden. Denen kannste nur noch in die Fresse hauen. Symbolisch gesprochen

 

[The Wolf]

Ich wäre stolz auf dich, wenn ich dein Vater wäre.
Deine Eltern sind bescheuert, wenn sie wirklich solchen Unsinn reden. Denen kannste nur noch in die Fresse hauen. Symbolisch gesprochen

Danke Dir. Und ja

 

[VersoffenerAssi]

Danke Dir. Und ja

Ohne Scheiß, Du bist stärker als Du vielleicht denkst. Trotz allem ziehst Du Dein Ding durch. In manchen Hinsichten bist Du ein härterer Nigga als ich. Lass Dir niemals was anderes einreden und Dich mit irgendwelchen Normies vergleichen, die einfach mehr Glück in der Genlotterie hatten.
Meine Mutter hat sowas auch immer wieder getan oder gesagt, dass es anderen noch schlechter geht. Ich habe diese dämlichen Vergleiche immer gehasst. "Ich bin nicht diese anderen, ich bin ich und an meiner Stelle würdest Du keine zwei Tage aushalten!" war meine Antwort darauf.

 

[The Wolf]

Ohne Scheiß, Du bist stärker als Du vielleicht denkst. Trotz allem ziehst Du Dein Ding durch. In manchen Hinsichten bist Du ein härterer Nigga als ich. Lass Dir niemals was anderes einreden und Dich mit irgendwelchen Normies vergleichen, die einfach mehr Glück in der Genlotterie hatten.

Danke!

Meine Mutter hat sowas auch immer wieder getan oder gesagt, dass es anderen noch schlechter geht. Ich habe diese dämlichen Vergleiche immer gehasst. "Ich bin nicht diese anderen, ich bin ich und an meiner Stelle würdest Du keine zwei Tage aushalten!" war meine Antwort darauf.

Ja, das ist wirklich dämlich, und das war eine gute Antwort darauf.

 

[VersoffenerAssi]

Danke!


Ja, das ist wirklich dämlich, und das war eine gute Antwort darauf.

Keine Ursache!
Lass Dich nicht runterziehen!

 

[rxkrd72]

It is mostly internal "disappointment", or more like anger. Sometimes expressed in one of a variety of ways.

"Others your age earn double," "it's not normal to earn so little at your age," "it's not normal to study online," (they said this 2 years ago now I have a job studies are finished)", "you do so much bad things" (like accidentally breaking the washing machine, but if I say I'll pay for the repair they get mad; quotes on how I am very abnormal and how I never help (this second part is strictly untrue).

Last time my dad said, "get a job" (I literally have a job rn, it's an internship and I earn money, and then I said but I have job and he said, a better paying one. But I can't find any such job.)

My parents are mad at me, even if my overall situation is shaped by factors outside of my control. They are mad at me, for my symptoms of ADHD, autism, and social anxiety, and underestimate how hard it is to control these.

Of course, they do not care I do not have, and never will have a girlfriend, but rather think that I should get over yourself, you silly boy (this isn't what they said, but it's how they think). And they also tell themselves, "he'll get over it", while at the same always saying how lying to oneself is one of the biggest shit you can do. They think I should just stop wanting a gf, and have often tried to talk me out of wanting one, as they know it's impossible for me. But what bothers me more is that they think I should, and can if I would only try hard enough, to stop wanting one.

They have the "others have it worse, others are paralyzed; you have a roof over your head and food on the table, and are still not happy," mindset, and have explicitly said this quote once.

I am 29. Especially my mom does a lot for me like buying food, clothes (not bad ones, just normal, some I guess quite "stylish" not that it matters to me or anyone), and cooking. And perhaps understandably she has complained a lot about this in the last 6-12 months. But I'm not allowed to cook either. But living with them is becoming unbearable. They are always quite mean to me, and their internal caring about me only reaches so far as what they think is right for me.

I cannot afford my own place and due to my autism I need assistance in some stuff. But I think they are both narcissistic/NPD, I have observed this for months now and also read books about that personality style. Of course I am not qualified to say for sure but it reflects what I read.

Dang thats brutal , Can't you do some free lance or some other online job on the side to move away?

 

[turbocuckcel_7000]

Stop talking to them so much. Don't argue with your parents. You can't win and there is no point.

 

[turbocuckcel_7000]

You need to stop caring because "this" will never stop. It will continue over the phone, after you move out. You need to stop caring now.

 

[160cmbloop]

my old man used to do the same thing growing up comparing me to other kids. they never acknowledge the upbringing, wealth, environment the other person has compared to you. the irony to compare your child meanwhile they themselves are struggling to make ends meet, “why can’t you be like (x person)” meanwhile they have a stable home life, parents already financially well, good environment. no mention of how that kid probably never had to stress about money, never had tension at home, never had to deal with instability. they just see the result and ignore the entire foundation behind it. easier to blame your kid than admit you didn’t provide the same conditions. might as well compare your parents to other parents then, let’s see how that goes.

 

[taoistcel]

Your subhumanity directly affects them