I will keep it as brief as I can, only stating the most important parts so the story makes sense.
At the start of August, I saw a short-form video of a girl on instagram reels. She looked very pretty and a bit like someone I used to know, but a much better looking version. I clicked on her profile and watched another reel of hers and I have never seen someone as better looking as her from my perspective. I ended up watching her 30 or so reels at the time over and over again that night, just struck by how she looked honestly. At the time I didnβt think much of it, but it ended up becoming a lot more intense than I expected.
Over the next few days I was constantly thinking about her, always re-watching her videos and day dreaming of scenarios of her and I, such as randomly finding her in public and talking to her. Over the next few weeks, it became apparent that I was getting too infatuated with her. I ended up being so obsessed that I found out her school, suburb, parents, friends, siblings, vacation destinations, practically everything that was available online. Around this time I was also granted access for her private profile on instagram. I was stuck going over her posts there for hours.
I began to think about her even more, constantly thinking about her throughout the day. It got to the point where it was interrupting my daily tasks I needed to complete. I even had frequent dreams about her, even waking up thinking they were real. This continued on for a few months, and I started to develop a routine that I would do most nights - I would watch the same 3 videos of her on repeat, then go onto her private profile and view the same few posts, only going to the end slide when the music was at the best part. I won't go into too much more detail about everything, but it was at its peak worst up until about the start of December 2025. From December until now I still kept thinking about her, but just a bit less.
Now this leads into the next part, recently I went over to look at her posts again and I just felt sick in the stomach, I almost threw up. Knowing how much time I had wasted obsessing over her for no reason. She has no idea who I even am, she isn't even in the same country as me. Even now I only find her attractive, and nobody else. Even women before who I would find very attractive I don't now. But women that kind of resemble her I second glance.
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Looking back on it, I think part of the reason it became so intense is that every time I re-watched her videos I got a dopamine hit, which made me keep going back to her content. My nightly routine of watching the same videos probably reinforced the habit as well.
Over time my brain basically linked imagination with emotional attachment. In a way I trained my brain to focus on one person, which created a kind of βreference standardβ in my head.
Looking back now, I realize the level of fixation wasnβt healthy and that most of what I was attached to was probably an idealized version of someone I donβt actually know β just the version shown on social media. I also think part of the reason it happened is that Iβve never really had much real-life interaction with women, so most of my exposure to attractive people has been through social media.
Iβm trying to understand why my brain latched onto this so strongly and how to move past it.
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Has anyone else experienced something like this before, especially from social media? If so, what helped you move past it?
@TheGrayWolf
At the start of August, I saw a short-form video of a girl on instagram reels. She looked very pretty and a bit like someone I used to know, but a much better looking version. I clicked on her profile and watched another reel of hers and I have never seen someone as better looking as her from my perspective. I ended up watching her 30 or so reels at the time over and over again that night, just struck by how she looked honestly. At the time I didnβt think much of it, but it ended up becoming a lot more intense than I expected.
Over the next few days I was constantly thinking about her, always re-watching her videos and day dreaming of scenarios of her and I, such as randomly finding her in public and talking to her. Over the next few weeks, it became apparent that I was getting too infatuated with her. I ended up being so obsessed that I found out her school, suburb, parents, friends, siblings, vacation destinations, practically everything that was available online. Around this time I was also granted access for her private profile on instagram. I was stuck going over her posts there for hours.
I began to think about her even more, constantly thinking about her throughout the day. It got to the point where it was interrupting my daily tasks I needed to complete. I even had frequent dreams about her, even waking up thinking they were real. This continued on for a few months, and I started to develop a routine that I would do most nights - I would watch the same 3 videos of her on repeat, then go onto her private profile and view the same few posts, only going to the end slide when the music was at the best part. I won't go into too much more detail about everything, but it was at its peak worst up until about the start of December 2025. From December until now I still kept thinking about her, but just a bit less.
Now this leads into the next part, recently I went over to look at her posts again and I just felt sick in the stomach, I almost threw up. Knowing how much time I had wasted obsessing over her for no reason. She has no idea who I even am, she isn't even in the same country as me. Even now I only find her attractive, and nobody else. Even women before who I would find very attractive I don't now. But women that kind of resemble her I second glance.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Looking back on it, I think part of the reason it became so intense is that every time I re-watched her videos I got a dopamine hit, which made me keep going back to her content. My nightly routine of watching the same videos probably reinforced the habit as well.
Over time my brain basically linked imagination with emotional attachment. In a way I trained my brain to focus on one person, which created a kind of βreference standardβ in my head.
Looking back now, I realize the level of fixation wasnβt healthy and that most of what I was attached to was probably an idealized version of someone I donβt actually know β just the version shown on social media. I also think part of the reason it happened is that Iβve never really had much real-life interaction with women, so most of my exposure to attractive people has been through social media.
Iβm trying to understand why my brain latched onto this so strongly and how to move past it.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Has anyone else experienced something like this before, especially from social media? If so, what helped you move past it?
@TheGrayWolf
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