Deleted member 24297
With the intent to inflict death
-
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2020
- Posts
- 2,331
Venlafaxine 375mg, quetiapine seroquel XR 450 mg .
When I skip a dose of the antipsychotic Im extremely aggitated, harsh, hostile, aggressive yet a good source of energy for those on my frequency and when the right friends are visiting its awesome and I bring a lot of life to the gathering . Thoughts start racing at a comfy level and I feel invinceable. I can lash out without thinking about it due to lowinhib maxxed and not caring about anything.
Last year I didnt sleep from januari till august (4hrs a month max). I pulled a tazer on 7 nurses that were doing severe abuse to the mental patients including me. People suicided on their watch and one patient was kicked and beaten while in a catatonic state. My dad and me brought the patient to an emergency room after where the patient got a lot of fentanyl and morphine due to the degree of the damage. After the pt was escorded back to the clinic they locked the pt up so that no police raport could be filed. They denied me freedom and my own food. When they were intentionally pushing my buttons and locked my room to come with 7+ nurses to push me down and bring to the isolation unit I pulled out a tazer on them until police jailed me.
I remember last year I was walking thru the city for days and meet a Serb excon that had done 18 years for murder. We were walking together but he was very paranoid cause a car was following us. When the car pumped on the gas pedal and speed up to us with blinding lights at our direction he yelled "theyre gonna shoot!!". I duck behind a car and thought well this is it they gonna put me in the ground guilt by association they dont know I only just meet this guy. The car hit the breaks next to the car I duck behind. I was fully 100% convinced that were my last moments and thought to myself that I could pray to God for forgiveness or ask for mercy. But then I was like " fuck that shit Im not gonna kneel for no one not for God not for anything. Even if it means burning in hell for all of eternity Im not gonna kneel for one second.".
Police undercover stepped out.
Later I continued communicating with wrong people and then decided to break all contact with them. A few hours later 20 black cars pull up in front of my house but I managed to escape. Police wanted to know who these people were I told them I rather die like a man than live with a rat.
However the saga ended up in being escorted by ambulance and police into a psychiatric crisis hospital and put in the isolation unit. The guard tried to give me a fistbump but I told him now I bump your fist next time its your nose. In the isolation cel.I lost it and hallucinated supermario soundtrack which I wasnt sure if it was the angels playing the harp telling me I unlocked the mystery of the universe (that it was all a joke) or the devils sirenes luring me deeper into the abyss of insanity. I got a Donald Duck magazine in my cel to calm down but I saw it as my personal bible as I recognized the lifestory of all the people in my life. I put it in a corner and didnt dare look at the corner anymore. Then I wrote the name of my lawyer with urine on the wall and thru the piss bucket at the camera. I felt bad for the guard who had to clean it up and wanted to makr it right so I shared with him divinr insight into why cats pee in unfamiliar places (not hostility but fear). When the doc came I threatened him to keep me locked up and if they were to return me to the previous abusive hospital Id murder everyone working there. i wore a shirt that said Gun Owners of America but wore it inside out. When I was alone with the doc I pulled it off and reversed it so the text was visible and told him to see see if I was bluffing.
When Im off my meds Im more based cause with them its like a muzzle / chastity belt. But without it for too long I start being a frotmouthing lunatic with rabies. If I miss the two daily dosages (morning, evening) the snowball starts rolling.
I missed one dosage now and notice Im already too lowinhib embarassingly oversharing so ill screenshot this as a reminder even though meds may cuck me I cuck myself otherwise and will realize that the moment I wake up after meds induced sleep.
Now I feel this thread is good tomorrow probobly not but Im not surr am not a nostradamuscel
Efit
Sorry for the shit thrrad and thank yui all fir putting uo wirh me you wre family for real i lovr you guys
When I skip a dose of the antipsychotic Im extremely aggitated, harsh, hostile, aggressive yet a good source of energy for those on my frequency and when the right friends are visiting its awesome and I bring a lot of life to the gathering . Thoughts start racing at a comfy level and I feel invinceable. I can lash out without thinking about it due to lowinhib maxxed and not caring about anything.
Last year I didnt sleep from januari till august (4hrs a month max). I pulled a tazer on 7 nurses that were doing severe abuse to the mental patients including me. People suicided on their watch and one patient was kicked and beaten while in a catatonic state. My dad and me brought the patient to an emergency room after where the patient got a lot of fentanyl and morphine due to the degree of the damage. After the pt was escorded back to the clinic they locked the pt up so that no police raport could be filed. They denied me freedom and my own food. When they were intentionally pushing my buttons and locked my room to come with 7+ nurses to push me down and bring to the isolation unit I pulled out a tazer on them until police jailed me.
I remember last year I was walking thru the city for days and meet a Serb excon that had done 18 years for murder. We were walking together but he was very paranoid cause a car was following us. When the car pumped on the gas pedal and speed up to us with blinding lights at our direction he yelled "theyre gonna shoot!!". I duck behind a car and thought well this is it they gonna put me in the ground guilt by association they dont know I only just meet this guy. The car hit the breaks next to the car I duck behind. I was fully 100% convinced that were my last moments and thought to myself that I could pray to God for forgiveness or ask for mercy. But then I was like " fuck that shit Im not gonna kneel for no one not for God not for anything. Even if it means burning in hell for all of eternity Im not gonna kneel for one second.".
Police undercover stepped out.
Later I continued communicating with wrong people and then decided to break all contact with them. A few hours later 20 black cars pull up in front of my house but I managed to escape. Police wanted to know who these people were I told them I rather die like a man than live with a rat.
However the saga ended up in being escorted by ambulance and police into a psychiatric crisis hospital and put in the isolation unit. The guard tried to give me a fistbump but I told him now I bump your fist next time its your nose. In the isolation cel.I lost it and hallucinated supermario soundtrack which I wasnt sure if it was the angels playing the harp telling me I unlocked the mystery of the universe (that it was all a joke) or the devils sirenes luring me deeper into the abyss of insanity. I got a Donald Duck magazine in my cel to calm down but I saw it as my personal bible as I recognized the lifestory of all the people in my life. I put it in a corner and didnt dare look at the corner anymore. Then I wrote the name of my lawyer with urine on the wall and thru the piss bucket at the camera. I felt bad for the guard who had to clean it up and wanted to makr it right so I shared with him divinr insight into why cats pee in unfamiliar places (not hostility but fear). When the doc came I threatened him to keep me locked up and if they were to return me to the previous abusive hospital Id murder everyone working there. i wore a shirt that said Gun Owners of America but wore it inside out. When I was alone with the doc I pulled it off and reversed it so the text was visible and told him to see see if I was bluffing.
When Im off my meds Im more based cause with them its like a muzzle / chastity belt. But without it for too long I start being a frotmouthing lunatic with rabies. If I miss the two daily dosages (morning, evening) the snowball starts rolling.
I missed one dosage now and notice Im already too lowinhib embarassingly oversharing so ill screenshot this as a reminder even though meds may cuck me I cuck myself otherwise and will realize that the moment I wake up after meds induced sleep.
Now I feel this thread is good tomorrow probobly not but Im not surr am not a nostradamuscel
Efit
Sorry for the shit thrrad and thank yui all fir putting uo wirh me you wre family for real i lovr you guys
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