Mario
Mario is a simp. For 35 years now, he’s been chasing after this LTB at best “princess” who gets kidnapped by a thug and gets pumped & dumped regularly behind the scenes, all for him (aka the betabux simp Mario) to come be the clean up guy afterwards. She never gives anything of semblance back to Mario, not even a platonic kiss on the cheek.
He’s a plumber which is I mean come on lol. He’s always the shortest character in the game. He gets called “old man” all the time. His only friends are a gay dinosaur and schizophrenic mushroom who thinks he’s a captain. He has this incel twin of his that no one takes seriously thanks to his necrophilia, further substantiating their genetic dead endness. Their bloodline will die with them, guaranteed.
He looks a pedophile with that mustache. It is over for him.
Link
Link is a cuck. Twilight Princess was just one big gigantic dogpill pandered to women btw. Just think about it. Link turns into this obedient dog against his will, has this furry favored looking devil creature riding him and telling him what to do at all times. He meets Zelda (aka the princess of the twilight curse), and she doesn’t figure out that the dog is actually her lover Link (you can already tell where this is going
) not until the very moment when he transforms back and suddenly, despite putting out for the dog, she gets all bitchy around him for not revealing his true self sooner, and then they never fuck on camera. WHY do they never fuck on camera? Well because she wanted to fuck him when he was still in dog form, that’s why. She liked him better when he was still a dog (brutal).
It’s obvious Link is a cuck. He’s left handed (instant cuck trait). He likes spending time with children, probably does funny shit with them too. He goes on these gay ass adventures and pretends to be all cool and shit.
He doesn’t even look like a man. It is over for him.
Mario is a simp. For 35 years now, he’s been chasing after this LTB at best “princess” who gets kidnapped by a thug and gets pumped & dumped regularly behind the scenes, all for him (aka the betabux simp Mario) to come be the clean up guy afterwards. She never gives anything of semblance back to Mario, not even a platonic kiss on the cheek.
He’s a plumber which is I mean come on lol. He’s always the shortest character in the game. He gets called “old man” all the time. His only friends are a gay dinosaur and schizophrenic mushroom who thinks he’s a captain. He has this incel twin of his that no one takes seriously thanks to his necrophilia, further substantiating their genetic dead endness. Their bloodline will die with them, guaranteed.
He looks a pedophile with that mustache. It is over for him.
Link
Link is a cuck. Twilight Princess was just one big gigantic dogpill pandered to women btw. Just think about it. Link turns into this obedient dog against his will, has this furry favored looking devil creature riding him and telling him what to do at all times. He meets Zelda (aka the princess of the twilight curse), and she doesn’t figure out that the dog is actually her lover Link (you can already tell where this is going
) not until the very moment when he transforms back and suddenly, despite putting out for the dog, she gets all bitchy around him for not revealing his true self sooner, and then they never fuck on camera. WHY do they never fuck on camera? Well because she wanted to fuck him when he was still in dog form, that’s why. She liked him better when he was still a dog (brutal).It’s obvious Link is a cuck. He’s left handed (instant cuck trait). He likes spending time with children, probably does funny shit with them too. He goes on these gay ass adventures and pretends to be all cool and shit.
He doesn’t even look like a man. It is over for him.
