W
wide_eyed_optimism_
Just pass me the rope
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- Joined
- Oct 2, 2019
- Posts
- 730
- Online
- 16d 6h 4m
I know some of you have seen my previous posts about planning to looksmaxxx. Well I've been seeing some progress. Progress doesn't mean anything has changed, just that I've progressed a bit. I still look like shit, get disgusted looks, ldar alone, and am a 26 year old virgin.
I feel I look slightly better from the lack of stress as a result of being drugged all the time. Idk how to explain it, my skin is just smoother and my hair looks better and also stopped falling and grew a bit more. I'm taking Ativan, often more than the dose the doctor said, but with care bc if I overdo it it backfires and I get paranoid. I'm experiencing memory loss but dc because personality doesn't matter according to the blackpill, and this helps with looks by virtue of helping me calm down.
Also, the other day, a friend told me to hang out with some friends he met online. I didn't want to but went because saying no too many times would ruin the only friendships I have. I went with a random primark tshirt and some cheap jeans, and since my hair was a mess I also went to get a haircut specifically for the occassion, to a relatively nice (which is why it was full of chads, though I went bc it's the closest to my apt) chain barber. The guy who did it was a short ethnic who should rope on the spot considering all the Chads he has to work for, but fortunately he's bluepilled enough not to and actually did a good job.
Like I said in my other posts I was abused as a child (which is the reason to need jewpills I told my doc, but tbf it's mostly being incel), hence being 24/7 nervous unless drugged, and the abuse also gives me the ability to read micro expressions in people (this is for context for later) so I usually know how they feel at all times, sometimes even things they don't consciously realize themselves.
Anyway I go meet them, and first off I'm quiet while they're talking except chiming in with a comment here and there so it's not too obvious. Mostly thinking about how shit my life is instead of what they're talking about. A little later two girls joined us, and I could tell one of them was mildly attracted to me and that her friend realized. Both decent looking tbh but not stacys, more like beckys. She kept trying to talk to me despite how quiet I was. And I didn't want to fuck it up so I started asking about her etc, and at some point it hit me, what if I actually get laid? And let me tell you, after being a virgin and starved of even touching a woman all my life, being next to someone who may be interested in actually having sex is indescribable, idk how to explain the feeling tbh it's indescribable. She instantly noticed (maybe not consciously but to an extent she realized I was eager and that was a turnoff) so I did my best to act like I didn't care that much. Basically she's the only reason my whole night wasn't just being there thinking about how shit my life is while my friend's friends talk. She also asked me to dance with her, and also some normie, but not to worse looking guys eg some short fat guy who was with us. But after a bit we went to another pub where there were some chadlites and she flocked over to them and that was that jfl
needless to say I didnt get laid, which I kinda knew all along.
But my point is, between the changes in myself that I saw and this girl being mildly interested, I think it's pretty clear my looks have improved a bit. This is after just a month of eating better, sleeping a bit better, and taking ativan. I have more improvements in store like sleeping 8hrs+ a day, maybe asking my doc for a stronger drug or learning my way around ativan because when I try to take way more than the doc said, sometimes it works (enhanced effect) and sometimes it makes me paranoid like I said, and also surgerymaxxxing for eye area. I may actually become a high tier normie after a while despite having a recessed chin.
What I'm going to do right now, just in case this works, is to make a stacyfish account on tinder and take note of what people says to girls because I have no idea how to do that. I only learned how to behave in public because I can watch other people. I'll try to make it credible but with a girl who's as cute as possible so I get chads who are doing their best (and chads have a lot of experience with girls, enough to know what works) and just see what they do to try to get laid.
I feel I look slightly better from the lack of stress as a result of being drugged all the time. Idk how to explain it, my skin is just smoother and my hair looks better and also stopped falling and grew a bit more. I'm taking Ativan, often more than the dose the doctor said, but with care bc if I overdo it it backfires and I get paranoid. I'm experiencing memory loss but dc because personality doesn't matter according to the blackpill, and this helps with looks by virtue of helping me calm down.
Also, the other day, a friend told me to hang out with some friends he met online. I didn't want to but went because saying no too many times would ruin the only friendships I have. I went with a random primark tshirt and some cheap jeans, and since my hair was a mess I also went to get a haircut specifically for the occassion, to a relatively nice (which is why it was full of chads, though I went bc it's the closest to my apt) chain barber. The guy who did it was a short ethnic who should rope on the spot considering all the Chads he has to work for, but fortunately he's bluepilled enough not to and actually did a good job.
Like I said in my other posts I was abused as a child (which is the reason to need jewpills I told my doc, but tbf it's mostly being incel), hence being 24/7 nervous unless drugged, and the abuse also gives me the ability to read micro expressions in people (this is for context for later) so I usually know how they feel at all times, sometimes even things they don't consciously realize themselves.
Anyway I go meet them, and first off I'm quiet while they're talking except chiming in with a comment here and there so it's not too obvious. Mostly thinking about how shit my life is instead of what they're talking about. A little later two girls joined us, and I could tell one of them was mildly attracted to me and that her friend realized. Both decent looking tbh but not stacys, more like beckys. She kept trying to talk to me despite how quiet I was. And I didn't want to fuck it up so I started asking about her etc, and at some point it hit me, what if I actually get laid? And let me tell you, after being a virgin and starved of even touching a woman all my life, being next to someone who may be interested in actually having sex is indescribable, idk how to explain the feeling tbh it's indescribable. She instantly noticed (maybe not consciously but to an extent she realized I was eager and that was a turnoff) so I did my best to act like I didn't care that much. Basically she's the only reason my whole night wasn't just being there thinking about how shit my life is while my friend's friends talk. She also asked me to dance with her, and also some normie, but not to worse looking guys eg some short fat guy who was with us. But after a bit we went to another pub where there were some chadlites and she flocked over to them and that was that jfl
needless to say I didnt get laid, which I kinda knew all along.But my point is, between the changes in myself that I saw and this girl being mildly interested, I think it's pretty clear my looks have improved a bit. This is after just a month of eating better, sleeping a bit better, and taking ativan. I have more improvements in store like sleeping 8hrs+ a day, maybe asking my doc for a stronger drug or learning my way around ativan because when I try to take way more than the doc said, sometimes it works (enhanced effect) and sometimes it makes me paranoid like I said, and also surgerymaxxxing for eye area. I may actually become a high tier normie after a while despite having a recessed chin.
What I'm going to do right now, just in case this works, is to make a stacyfish account on tinder and take note of what people says to girls because I have no idea how to do that. I only learned how to behave in public because I can watch other people. I'll try to make it credible but with a girl who's as cute as possible so I get chads who are doing their best (and chads have a lot of experience with girls, enough to know what works) and just see what they do to try to get laid.
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