If a semi-serious discussion occurs, Incels are often advised by normies to stop putting value on virginity/sex/love/intimacy.
Quotes such as…
“You are not less worthy despite being a 30 year old virgin.”
“Learn to be happy with yourself.”
“Stop caring about what others may think about you for being virgin/short/ugly/autistic.”
“If you depend on other people for validation you will be unhappy, learn to love yourself instead.”
…are often repeated in such cases.
I think such advice is not only stupid and disingenuous but also rather dangerous.
They are stupid because they eschew the fact that humans are extremely social creatures. Society only works if we attune to a common set of values and thrive to fulfill those values. Humans evolved this way (it’s a huge advantage) and therefore social expectations and peer pressure are extremely strong forces in our psyche. Telling us to just bock them out is unreasonable. Humans want to fit in with the rest of society and the quotes above are contrary to that.
They are dangerous because telling people to dissociate yourself from social expectations would lead to chaos if applied to enough people. What would the world look like if no one gave a fuck about what other people think of them? Imagine, for example, a serial-child rapist/murderer who so sees no wrong in his actions. He is exactly what normies advice: He is content with himself, loves himself, does not care what others might think of him and is independent from the validation of others.
They are disingenuous because normies know all this (on some level). They only give those advice to people who they have already abandoned. It’s not meant to help you, it’s a form of damage control. Better to gaslight you into believing you don’t need others than to burden those others with your disgusting presence.
Quotes such as…
“You are not less worthy despite being a 30 year old virgin.”
“Learn to be happy with yourself.”
“Stop caring about what others may think about you for being virgin/short/ugly/autistic.”
“If you depend on other people for validation you will be unhappy, learn to love yourself instead.”
…are often repeated in such cases.
I think such advice is not only stupid and disingenuous but also rather dangerous.
They are stupid because they eschew the fact that humans are extremely social creatures. Society only works if we attune to a common set of values and thrive to fulfill those values. Humans evolved this way (it’s a huge advantage) and therefore social expectations and peer pressure are extremely strong forces in our psyche. Telling us to just bock them out is unreasonable. Humans want to fit in with the rest of society and the quotes above are contrary to that.
They are dangerous because telling people to dissociate yourself from social expectations would lead to chaos if applied to enough people. What would the world look like if no one gave a fuck about what other people think of them? Imagine, for example, a serial-child rapist/murderer who so sees no wrong in his actions. He is exactly what normies advice: He is content with himself, loves himself, does not care what others might think of him and is independent from the validation of others.
They are disingenuous because normies know all this (on some level). They only give those advice to people who they have already abandoned. It’s not meant to help you, it’s a form of damage control. Better to gaslight you into believing you don’t need others than to burden those others with your disgusting presence.
