It's rather delusional my only hopes in life is to work at some company so they can dangle my balls while giving me money every two weeks so I can live an existence without being humiliated by my family's and my own lack of socioeconomic successes.
It doesn't matter if I ever leave poverty. It may make my mother happy because she wouldn't have to work as a janitor anymore. My sisters are going to marry wealthy men anyways because they're looks maxxed and they're lighter skinned Asian than I will ever be.
I am crying because I hate this room in this rental apartment that my mom spends most of her pay on. My sisters are rarely here now instead they're at the wealthy homes of their boyfriends. Instead I'm in my room rotting away and only leaving to go to work or to go to the grocery store to buy lottery tickets.
It wouldn't be any better if I could afford my mom and I a better apartment if I get a good paying wage. Because I wouldn't be able to get a girlfriend because I'm a brown skinned Asian who gets called mr poopy by the children I work with at my job.
Lately I've stopped reading and doing the problems in the accounting, business and statistics textbooks I bought because I keep getting depressed while writing notes. I can't afford community college and much less university but I'm still self studying ahead for the chance to succeed at it. I'm not smart so if I don't prepare ahead then I'll fail.
I failed university already, my mother has not said anything about me for throwing away years of her savings for a single failed semester of university. My sisters always attack me on my failure at university if I ever defend myself on things. My mother doesn't say a word when they bring it up. She is ashamed of me I think.
I'm wasting my time self studying, people of normal intelligence do not need to do this to succeed in their studies. People do not need to be well rounded. People do not need to learn things on their own time. People do not need to read and practice textbooks before taking a course.
But I'm not really a person. I'm a 5'3.5 dark skinned Asian male drop out living in a rental apartment in poverty. I'm shorter than my parents and sisters and darker than them. The only person in my family not darker than me is my grandfather.
Another delusion is that I believe that I can make money by studying accounting. I still haven't taken the hint that only good looking, taller white people can have those jobs.
It doesn't matter if I ever leave poverty. It may make my mother happy because she wouldn't have to work as a janitor anymore. My sisters are going to marry wealthy men anyways because they're looks maxxed and they're lighter skinned Asian than I will ever be.
I am crying because I hate this room in this rental apartment that my mom spends most of her pay on. My sisters are rarely here now instead they're at the wealthy homes of their boyfriends. Instead I'm in my room rotting away and only leaving to go to work or to go to the grocery store to buy lottery tickets.
It wouldn't be any better if I could afford my mom and I a better apartment if I get a good paying wage. Because I wouldn't be able to get a girlfriend because I'm a brown skinned Asian who gets called mr poopy by the children I work with at my job.
Lately I've stopped reading and doing the problems in the accounting, business and statistics textbooks I bought because I keep getting depressed while writing notes. I can't afford community college and much less university but I'm still self studying ahead for the chance to succeed at it. I'm not smart so if I don't prepare ahead then I'll fail.
I failed university already, my mother has not said anything about me for throwing away years of her savings for a single failed semester of university. My sisters always attack me on my failure at university if I ever defend myself on things. My mother doesn't say a word when they bring it up. She is ashamed of me I think.
I'm wasting my time self studying, people of normal intelligence do not need to do this to succeed in their studies. People do not need to be well rounded. People do not need to learn things on their own time. People do not need to read and practice textbooks before taking a course.
But I'm not really a person. I'm a 5'3.5 dark skinned Asian male drop out living in a rental apartment in poverty. I'm shorter than my parents and sisters and darker than them. The only person in my family not darker than me is my grandfather.
Another delusion is that I believe that I can make money by studying accounting. I still haven't taken the hint that only good looking, taller white people can have those jobs.
