I dunno why, today just seems like one of those days that has got me even more depressed than usual for some reason. Nothing bad has particularly happened to trigger this...it's just I've been thinking a lot about what a worthless failure I am.
Of course, like many of you, I got hit with the ugly stick. But my failure goes beyond just that. Even when something good DOES happen to me, I inevitably find some way to fuck it up. It' like my life is mostly bad things, but then when I get some good things I find a way to turn those bad too.
JFL at how some people live life on the easiest settings imaginable. Tall, attractive, intelligent, great friends, loving family. I literally have none of those.
It sort of feels like while I'm still alive, inside I'm really already dead. There's just nothing left except total bitterness and hatred. The hate for the normies for what they've put me through. The bitterness of all the lost years of never having a girlfriend. The hate for myself that when I finally did get one I fucked everything up. The knowledge that'll I'll NEVER be mentally right because of all this.
Im unable to relate or empathise with other humans at all. When something bad happens to another...I don't even feel bad or have the slightest sympathy. For example I've got a kid I abandoned out in Asia...and I DON'T EVEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Most normalfagd would have some moral dilemma, but there's just none of that in my mind at all. Another (lesser) example...taking money off the government with the intention to never pay it back, scamming credit card companies and the like. Go on normalfag websites and you'l find people feel bad about not paying their debts...whereas I literally couldn't give a fuck. When I hear about atrocities around the world i couldn't care less about the suffering of others.
I'm not a nice person. The treatment I've received throughout my life made me like this. And there's just NO FUCKING WAY to fix it. I'll NEVER be mentally at peace...The hatred of society and bitterness at all I've missed see out on over the years is all consuming...just like a massive void that will never heal.
Not sure what the point of this thread was, but felt like typing it out.
Of course, like many of you, I got hit with the ugly stick. But my failure goes beyond just that. Even when something good DOES happen to me, I inevitably find some way to fuck it up. It' like my life is mostly bad things, but then when I get some good things I find a way to turn those bad too.
JFL at how some people live life on the easiest settings imaginable. Tall, attractive, intelligent, great friends, loving family. I literally have none of those.
It sort of feels like while I'm still alive, inside I'm really already dead. There's just nothing left except total bitterness and hatred. The hate for the normies for what they've put me through. The bitterness of all the lost years of never having a girlfriend. The hate for myself that when I finally did get one I fucked everything up. The knowledge that'll I'll NEVER be mentally right because of all this.
Im unable to relate or empathise with other humans at all. When something bad happens to another...I don't even feel bad or have the slightest sympathy. For example I've got a kid I abandoned out in Asia...and I DON'T EVEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Most normalfagd would have some moral dilemma, but there's just none of that in my mind at all. Another (lesser) example...taking money off the government with the intention to never pay it back, scamming credit card companies and the like. Go on normalfag websites and you'l find people feel bad about not paying their debts...whereas I literally couldn't give a fuck. When I hear about atrocities around the world i couldn't care less about the suffering of others.
I'm not a nice person. The treatment I've received throughout my life made me like this. And there's just NO FUCKING WAY to fix it. I'll NEVER be mentally at peace...The hatred of society and bitterness at all I've missed see out on over the years is all consuming...just like a massive void that will never heal.
Not sure what the point of this thread was, but felt like typing it out.
