Blackpill I've thought about suicide for literally years but still haven't done it

[IncelGolem]

Anyone else?

I remember almost a decade ago I lived in an apartment and there was a strange hook that was installed from the ceiling for a reason I don't know. I fantasized about hanging myself from it all the time. Then I moved somewhere else and bought a gun and fantasized about shooting myself all the time. Then I moved to a high-floor apartment and thought about jumping off the balcony all the time.

It's been more than a decade and I still haven't done it.

I think it might be worse to have suicidal ideation WITHOUT having the guts to actually do it. It's like being in limbo.

 

[lowz1r]

Your brain goes into cope or rope mode. There is no in-between. The coping route can be enjoyable if you actually find a good cope, hell it might even be worth it if the cope is strong enough.

 

[Soystein]

I have thought about suicide for 25 years, I have been telling myself I have to wait until my parents are dead, my dad passed 14 years ago and my mom is 80, but I think the real reason I am still alive is that my life somehow isn't shitty enough to die yet.