Everywhere I go people that I have known or spoken to in the past avoid me like the plague and like they don’t know me I don’t even get a hello. I tried to train as a student be a male nurse but I got the feeling that my colleagues and seniors were chatting shit about me behind my back. People didn’t really want to work with me as a supervisor meanwhile the curry is just blending and no one says shit about them while I feel like I’m always being singled out by someone like my assessor manager at the hospital telling someone from the Univeristy I wasn’t participating enough which was complete bullshit was going out of my way to help the patients yet the curries fly under the radar and no one says nothing to them. Meanwhile I work hard and I get treated like shit is it because of the way I look or am I just slightly retarded and don’t realise it it’s not just where I’ve worked though everywhere I go it’s like people hate me I’m diagnosed bipolar I was taking antidepressants for awhile called citalopram. I’ve decided to stop taking them since I’ve got sick I think I have food poisoning but I’ve just decided there’s no point coping with medication either because it doesn’t change who I am or how I look. I’m also a beast and I feel like people treat me like there’s something wrong with me like I’m stupid. I feel like wherever I go. I don’t fit in and I stand out at the moment. I’m just wondering is there any point to even go back to studying to be a male nurse? They said I could come into work Monday but I am starting to think I’m better off just staying on my neetbux and avoid mixing with people altogether except for the very few people that I’ve known for many years sometimes I wonder what’s the point in even trying I feel like the harder I try the more I get people chatting shit to me or throwing it in my face like someone to do with my work placement from the Univeristy he took me into a side room for an interview telling me how I was missing so much work and giving me all this shit and saying I wasn’t participating when I was and it was all basically a lot of bullshit and then she said she has an article for me to see about being Neurodivergent and then went on to say she’s not calling me neuro divergent but just to have a look at the article I feel like people treat me like I’m a stick as shit. I’m just wondering now what do you reckon Boyos is it worth going back to my studies or should I just fucking give up and stay at home and avoid normies altogether? I feel like no matter why do how hard I try. I’m always gonna be treated like shit am I slightly retarded? Is it because I’m ugly or is it because I’m fat or is it how I socialise and talk to people whatever it is wherever I go I always get treated like shit. I’m just beginning to think what’s the point and even trying what’s the point of even studying just to try and get a qualification so one day I might have the potential to be a wage slave at least the perk to studying as you still get to keep your neetbux and it gives you something to do because sometimes I get so fucking bored in the house I don’t know what to do with myself. I think that’s what really pushed me to go back to studying to be a male mask cause I’ve already dropped out about twice what’s your opinion? Do you think I should go back to my workplace in the hospital Monday morning or just not show up and quit completely maybe I’m just being paranoid. Maybe it’s where I wasn’t putting in enough effort showing up to work and giving them enough notice so that’s why I drew attention to myself or maybe it’s just a reality that people are gonna treat me differently and I’m never gonna fit in, but maybe it’s all in my head as well. I’m not sure maybe if I put the effort in things will change. What do you reckon? What’s your opinions? Let me know.
