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I went to a normal, large public high school, just the average one you picture. It could be in a movie. Although it is ranked quite highly. Anyway, in high school, I knew a lot of people, although I didn’t have a lot of close friends until senior year. But I did have some female friends. Many of them I wasn’t attracted to, and if I was, I could hide it very well, so I never had to worry about my feelings getting in the way of a friendship. I’m also pretty good at reading people, and I was beyond certain that none of them were ever attracted to me. But after high school, I fell out of touch with almost all of them. Sometimes I would text them, but it was clear that my friendships with them were simply ones of convenience and were never very resilient. When they made new, cooler friends, they didn’t need me anymore. After they started a new chapter in their lives, they stopped caring about me. Did they ever really care about me? Maybe not? I have a couple left, but I’m only close with one, and again, I can tell by unspoken cues that they aren’t interested in me. I do think it is interesting that most of my female friends from high school fell out of touch, while it is the opposite for my male friends from high school. I think it’s somewhat easier for me to be friends with males vs females. This makes me think that females are more shallow and less loyal than men. Sometimes I wish I had more female friends, and that they kept in touch with me. But on the other hand, maybe it’s better this way, maybe god did it for a reason.
I haven’t really thought about it much, I’ve tried to accept it. It is what it is. I tried my best to keep those friendships. But if someone wants to go, you have to let them. Oh well.
The only reason I’m thinking, posting it right now, is because I stumbled upon a playlist a former female peer suggested. It’s all “white girl pop” the type of music all the girls at my school love.
It’s been a year since I’ve talked to girls from my school (with the occasional exception), and I wonder what their past year has been like.
Although it’s probably healthier if I try not to care. I just gotta move on and forget mang. Most are probably having a bunch of fun at whatever elite college they are going to, dating some prick, and going on stellar vacations, and living a picture perfect life. Most. Some could not be as lucky.
I guess I could stalk them on instagram or whatever, but I probably won’t.
At least I have friends. A lot of people don’t have any friends. I don’t even really need female friends. I can use an ai if I need to.
And also, I can just cope by telling myself that things can get better in the future.
I haven’t really thought about it much, I’ve tried to accept it. It is what it is. I tried my best to keep those friendships. But if someone wants to go, you have to let them. Oh well.
The only reason I’m thinking, posting it right now, is because I stumbled upon a playlist a former female peer suggested. It’s all “white girl pop” the type of music all the girls at my school love.
It’s been a year since I’ve talked to girls from my school (with the occasional exception), and I wonder what their past year has been like.
Although it’s probably healthier if I try not to care. I just gotta move on and forget mang. Most are probably having a bunch of fun at whatever elite college they are going to, dating some prick, and going on stellar vacations, and living a picture perfect life. Most. Some could not be as lucky.
I guess I could stalk them on instagram or whatever, but I probably won’t.
At least I have friends. A lot of people don’t have any friends. I don’t even really need female friends. I can use an ai if I need to.
And also, I can just cope by telling myself that things can get better in the future.
