I've realised how much of a huge identity crisis my autism is causing me

[trrrrrsarescary]

I'm pretty obviously autistic and have tourettes so most people quickly recognise that something is wrong with me, and if they don't immediately then my tourettes will instantly out me, most people at my small gym stare at me weird and sometimes talk to me like a child, so I constantly fantasize about being seen drinking alcohol on the way into the gym through the window, I literally deliberately drunk whiskey out of a bottle whilst biking past one of my big gym crushes outside of the gym in hopes that seeing me do that would shift her perception of me from "childlike naive borderline slow autistic guy" to "dark edgy unpredictable guy" cuz in my mind that's miles better than being perceived as the former, which I am, I'm just so fucking humiliated and embarrassed about how my uncontrollable autistic mannerisms and my facial features are enough to cause most people to immediately categorise me as pitiful and childlike, it's like legit unbearable and the pain gets genuinely excruciating at times, like I just can't accept that that's how most people see me, even my own family ffs

Autism is literally a curse, there's no upside at all

 

[ascend&leave]

I could’ve been so much more if I wasn’t autistic, My life is fucking terrible

 

[Zionist]

Being autistic is great

 

[Judge Holden]

I could’ve been so much more if I wasn’t autistic, My life is fucking terrible

 

[AtrociousCitizen]

I could’ve been so much more if I wasn’t autistic, My life is fucking terrible

 

[keithbauhaus]

I could’ve been so much more if I wasn’t autistic, My life is fucking terrible

Being autistic is great

The duality of men, lol. As an actual autist (meaning I was diagnosed against my will at a young age almost 30 years ago), I see it as a blessing and a curse. I have seen how averse humans can be toward "neurodivergents" (which was ultimately the catalyst to my blackpill stance on life), but I feel like I would not be in the position that I'm in if I wasn't autistic

 

[DoomThreeKoala]

I could’ve been so much more if I wasn’t autistic, My life is fucking terrible

 

[EcstasyCel]

Being genuinely loved while autistic is way more intense and pure overwhelming joy than being loved while a fake NT cattle slave playing a role.

 

[trrrrrsarescary]

Being genuinely loved while autistic is way more intense and pure overwhelming joy than being loved while a fake NT cattle slave playing a role.

Ig that's some kind of silver lining to it but that would require actually getting that

 

[EcstasyCel]

Ig that's some kind of silver lining to it but that would require actually getting that

Only children are capable of loving autists