It's Over Its unbelievable to me how ovER it is. Like, what would i say to my yng self? Would i lie or say "kill yrslf bfr i exist" or something?!

[Lookslikeit]

Theres literally nothing left. I have no future, no present, and im starting to wonder if i even existed in the past.

Am i really this amalgamation of cells drifting through space, waiting eagerly to die bfr i couldnt even explain it to myself? Since like frvr?!!!

I just remember crying and being miserable as a child.

Even the silver lining moments, now that i took the rose tinted glasses off, seem like a hard cop out of a life that simply wasnt worth living, at all.

Am starting to feel so miserable, so deeply entrenched in pain, that its coming full circle.

Now i actually embrace it, Treat like an old time friend, that will never leave me, like everything else did.

My honor, my dignity, my self worth. All lies in pieces. And i dont even care, tbh.

It actually makes me feel great. Like im stealing every breath i have from some unforgiving force that wont give in or budge, not even for a second.

Im making it out like a bandit. My very existence and pushing it forward seems unrealistically badass, in a crazy, bank heist way of sorts.

Maybe im just euphoric from a maniac point of view. Or this is just the calm bfr the storm.

oh, well...