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Story It’s Been One Year Since I Left This Site. Here’s What I Learned.

MentalChaos

MentalChaos

Tenka Adachi is a loli whore.
★★
Joined
Mar 25, 2021
Posts
194
Near the end of May, I posted on this site for the last time. I was incredibly suicidal and felt like that was what I wanted to talk about. I asked for help.

I left the site because of the feelings it was giving me. I was disgruntled and was angry at some people on here. I left on my own terms and realized it was time to take a step back and look at my life.

I gave everything one last chance. Throughout the end of May and beginning of June, I saw this forum was not something I wanted to be a part of anymore. I wanted to try one last time to find happiness.

What I learned was: We were right… we were right all along.

The last 365 days have been tough. I left after I was forced to get the “CoVID-19 Vaccine”. I was hesitant to begin with but after I got it, my suspicions were only proven correct.

My schizo-paranoia worsened. For a while I had been dealing with small amounts of it but the day I got the “vaccine” everything came tumbling downwards. I was losing track of time wondering if I was being watched. I cried constantly at the thought that everyone could read my mind. I was truly broken. It got to the point where I tried to commit suicide.

It didn’t work, unfortunately. However, it gave me some motivation to improve myself. So, to everyone here and to the InkwellTear lurkers: here’s what I did.

- I got my very first job. I have been interacting with lots of people there and have created some decent relationships. (Including talking with foids).
- I started showering everyday again. The plandemic changed my schedule but I’m back where I used to be, everyday I clean myself up.
- I’ve been working out every now and then. Nothing extreme but enough to where I was not overweight.
- I’m taking care of my face too, using creams at least four times a week to help take care of my terrible acne.
- Continued attending meeting with my psychologist.
- I smiled as much as I could and really worked on my posture so I wasn’t slouching. I was standing up straight.
- I applied to a new school program for something I am actually passionate about.
- I even mustered up the courage to ask a foid out on a date, the first time I had ever done so.

And yet, nothing.

All this “confidence” I was supposed to gain from this… a myth. I never truly believed in it but I figured if it would happen, then great. Maybe my views would change.

So IT. What else do you want me to do? Showering doesn’t work. Creating relationships at work doesn’t do anything. Finding motivation for a personal passion doesn’t work. Faking confidence did not work. Exercising did not work. Not even facing my fears and asking a foid out worked. What other proof do you need to know you are wrong.

Let’s talk about what actually happened when I took your advice:

- I am constantly stressed at work. I am one of the hardest workers there and I actually do my job. I have come in on days when I was not scheduled to help out and stayed after shifts to help out as well. Just the other day, I was criticized for helping out. Some co-workers have spread lies about me. Oh, and everyone outside of my department hates me. The looks they give me in pure anger and disgust make me want to quit.
- My acne cream doesn’t do shit. I’ve tried multiple ones and not a single one of them work. It’s embedded in my DNA, because my brother gets the same problems.
- My body has never looked more uglier. My belly is a little bigger than I’d like and my arms are frail. My neck is fucked and my legs are just gross. All this, despite working out and getting a job that requires me to move around a lot.
- I got rejected by the foid I asked out and still see her a lot. Now I can’t look her in the eyes or even listen to her voice. I’m sure she has told so many people because the people she talks to have been looking at me with this condensing smug on their faces when I pass by.

It. Is. Over. Life will never treat me right.

That’s pretty much it for now. I spent the last day reading through all my old posts and am really depressed. It feels like so long ago because I have done so much self-improvement work, only for it to amount to absolutely nothing. It just led me right back here.

There’s no sympathy for the ugly, poor, and socially awkward. No sympathy for the selfless and kind. Only pity, condescension, and stress.

This is where I was supposed to be. This is the only place where people validate me. Do you IT cucks ever think about that? Regardless of our views on foids, when we talk about our disorders, illnesses, and stressors, we listen to each other. Not all the time and some people are shitty at it but only here do I have people help me understand what I’m going through and make me feel valid.

Funny how that works, eh? Everybody who believes they are worthless make me feel like I have some worth to me, even if it’s minuscule.

If you all would have me back again, I’d appreciate it. I really don’t want to be back. I don’t want to hate foids. What else am I supposed to do. Accept no one will love me and be happy with that. Fuck that. Here is where I will stay unless soyciety changes it’s ways, which I know it won’t.

Until the rope, we drown in our sorrows.
 
Last edited:
Sorry to hear that, i dont believe much can be done, genetics are everything.

Bllkpillpress said a very wise thing, dont work hard work smart, work enough to get by and no more than that, no one will appreciate it anyway.
 
this read likes a larp from a cuckold from reddit. "i use le lingo, see?"
 
Youre here now, alive and posting. So you have at least the baseline strength to withstand basically lifelong torture. There are those who ragequit at the end of a rope, and countless foids who hilariously try to become "men" only to also become suicidal.

Your experience of leaving, only to come back with the exact same findings is a process I have played out maybe three or four times now. Just focus on the things that you do have control over.
 
Wait, who are you?
 
Of course it doesn;t work. It;s genetics.

Come NEET and rot with us...
forever...
FOREVER...
 
Near the end of May, I posted on this site for the last time. I was incredibly suicidal and felt like that was what I wanted to talk about. I asked for help.

I left the site because of the feelings it was giving me. I was disgruntled and was angry at some people on here. I left on my own terms and realized it was time to take a step back and look at my life.

I gave everything one last chance. Throughout the end of May and beginning of June, I saw this forum was not something I wanted to be a part of anymore. I wanted to try one last time to find happiness.

What I learned was: We were right… we were right all along.

The last 365 days have been tough. I left after I was forced to get the “CoVID-19 Vaccine”. I was hesitant to begin with but after I got it, my suspicions were only proven correct.

My schizo-paranoia worsened. For a while I had been dealing with small amounts of it but the day I got the “vaccine” everything came tumbling downwards. I was losing track of time wondering if I was being watched. I cried constantly at the thought that everyone could read my mind. I was truly broken. It got to the point where I tried to commit suicide.

It didn’t work, unfortunately. However, it gave me some motivation to improve myself. So, to everyone here and to the InkwellTear lurkers: here’s what I did.

- I got my very first job. I have been interacting with lots of people there and have created some decent relationships. (Including talking with foids).
- I started showering everyday again. The plandemic changed my schedule but I’m back where I used to be, everyday I clean myself up.
- I’ve been working out every now and then. Nothing extreme but enough to where I was not overweight.
- I’m taking care of my face too, using creams at least four times a week to help take care of my terrible acne.
- Continued attending meeting with my psychologist.
- I smiled as much as I could and really worked on my posture so I wasn’t slouching. I was standing up straight.
- I applied to a new school program for something I am actually passionate about.
- I even mustered up the courage to ask a foid out on a date, the first time I had ever done so.

And yet, nothing.

All this “confidence” I was supposed to gain from this… a myth. I never truly believed in it but I figured if it would happen, then great. Maybe my views would change.

So IT. What else do you want me to do? Showering doesn’t work. Creating relationships at work doesn’t do anything. Finding motivation for a personal passion doesn’t work. Faking confidence did not work. Exercising did not work. Not even facing my fears and asking a foid out worked. What other proof do you need to know you are wrong.

Let’s talk about what actually happened when I took your advice:

- I am constantly stressed at work. I am one of the hardest workers there and I actually do my job. I have come in on days when I was not scheduled to help out and stayed after shifts to help out as well. Just the other day, I was criticized for helping out. Some co-workers have spread lies about me. Oh, and everyone outside of my department hates me. The looks they give me in pure anger and disgust make me want to quit.
- My acne cream doesn’t do shit. I’ve tried multiple ones and not a single one of them work. It’s embedded in my DNA, because my brother gets the same problems.
- My body has never looked more uglier. My belly is a little bigger than I’d like and my arms are frail. My neck is fucked and my legs are just gross. All this, despite working out and getting a job that requires me to move around a lot.
- I got rejected by the foid I asked out and still see her a lot. Now I can’t look her in the eyes or even listen to her voice. I’m sure she has told so many people because the people she talks to have been looking at me with this condensing smug on their faces when I pass by.

It. Is. Over. Life will never treat me right.

That’s pretty much it for now. I spent the last day reading through all my old posts and am really depressed. It feels like so long ago because I have done so much self-improvement work, only for it to amount to absolutely nothing. It just led me right back here.

There’s no sympathy for the ugly, poor, and socially awkward. No sympathy for the selfless and kind. Only pity, condescension, and stress.

This is where I was supposed to be. This is the only place where people validate me. Do you IT cucks ever think about that? Regardless of our views on foids, when we talk about our disorders, illnesses, and stressors, we listen to each other. Not all the time and some people are shitty at it but only here do I have people help me understand what I’m going through and make me feel valid.

Funny how that works, eh? Everybody who believes they are worthless make me feel like I have some worth to me, even if it’s minuscule.

If you all would have me back again, I’d appreciate it. I really don’t want to be back. I don’t want to hate foids. What else am I supposed to do. Accept no one will love me and be happy with that. Fuck that. Here is where I will stay unless soyciety changes it’s ways, which I know it won’t.

Until the rope, we drown in our sorrows.
Sorry to hear that:cryfeels:
Fck IT cucks they are sick in mind and have nothing better to do
 
Near the end of May, I posted on this site for the last time. I was incredibly suicidal and felt like that was what I wanted to talk about. I asked for help.

I left the site because of the feelings it was giving me. I was disgruntled and was angry at some people on here. I left on my own terms and realized it was time to take a step back and look at my life.

I gave everything one last chance. Throughout the end of May and beginning of June, I saw this forum was not something I wanted to be a part of anymore. I wanted to try one last time to find happiness.

What I learned was: We were right… we were right all along.

The last 365 days have been tough. I left after I was forced to get the “CoVID-19 Vaccine”. I was hesitant to begin with but after I got it, my suspicions were only proven correct.

My schizo-paranoia worsened. For a while I had been dealing with small amounts of it but the day I got the “vaccine” everything came tumbling downwards. I was losing track of time wondering if I was being watched. I cried constantly at the thought that everyone could read my mind. I was truly broken. It got to the point where I tried to commit suicide.

It didn’t work, unfortunately. However, it gave me some motivation to improve myself. So, to everyone here and to the InkwellTear lurkers: here’s what I did.

- I got my very first job. I have been interacting with lots of people there and have created some decent relationships. (Including talking with foids).
- I started showering everyday again. The plandemic changed my schedule but I’m back where I used to be, everyday I clean myself up.
- I’ve been working out every now and then. Nothing extreme but enough to where I was not overweight.
- I’m taking care of my face too, using creams at least four times a week to help take care of my terrible acne.
- Continued attending meeting with my psychologist.
- I smiled as much as I could and really worked on my posture so I wasn’t slouching. I was standing up straight.
- I applied to a new school program for something I am actually passionate about.
- I even mustered up the courage to ask a foid out on a date, the first time I had ever done so.

And yet, nothing.

All this “confidence” I was supposed to gain from this… a myth. I never truly believed in it but I figured if it would happen, then great. Maybe my views would change.

So IT. What else do you want me to do? Showering doesn’t work. Creating relationships at work doesn’t do anything. Finding motivation for a personal passion doesn’t work. Faking confidence did not work. Exercising did not work. Not even facing my fears and asking a foid out worked. What other proof do you need to know you are wrong.

Let’s talk about what actually happened when I took your advice:

- I am constantly stressed at work. I am one of the hardest workers there and I actually do my job. I have come in on days when I was not scheduled to help out and stayed after shifts to help out as well. Just the other day, I was criticized for helping out. Some co-workers have spread lies about me. Oh, and everyone outside of my department hates me. The looks they give me in pure anger and disgust make me want to quit.
- My acne cream doesn’t do shit. I’ve tried multiple ones and not a single one of them work. It’s embedded in my DNA, because my brother gets the same problems.
- My body has never looked more uglier. My belly is a little bigger than I’d like and my arms are frail. My neck is fucked and my legs are just gross. All this, despite working out and getting a job that requires me to move around a lot.
- I got rejected by the foid I asked out and still see her a lot. Now I can’t look her in the eyes or even listen to her voice. I’m sure she has told so many people because the people she talks to have been looking at me with this condensing smug on their faces when I pass by.

It. Is. Over. Life will never treat me right.

That’s pretty much it for now. I spent the last day reading through all my old posts and am really depressed. It feels like so long ago because I have done so much self-improvement work, only for it to amount to absolutely nothing. It just led me right back here.

There’s no sympathy for the ugly, poor, and socially awkward. No sympathy for the selfless and kind. Only pity, condescension, and stress.

This is where I was supposed to be. This is the only place where people validate me. Do you IT cucks ever think about that? Regardless of our views on foids, when we talk about our disorders, illnesses, and stressors, we listen to each other. Not all the time and some people are shitty at it but only here do I have people help me understand what I’m going through and make me feel valid.

Funny how that works, eh? Everybody who believes they are worthless make me feel like I have some worth to me, even if it’s minuscule.

If you all would have me back again, I’d appreciate it. I really don’t want to be back. I don’t want to hate foids. What else am I supposed to do. Accept no one will love me and be happy with that. Fuck that. Here is where I will stay unless soyciety changes it’s ways, which I know it won’t.

Until the rope, we drown in our sorrows.
Focus on wealthmaxxing. Wage slavery has a place and a purpose. It's for building capital and keeping your affairs in order until it's time to advance in life.
 
Focus on wealthmaxxing. Wage slavery has a place and a purpose. It's for building capital and keeping your affairs in order until it's time to advance in life.
To advance in life jfl.... by that you mean to fuck escorts jfl at your simp mindset. You see if you have money and you're alone you have nothing because you cannot share it with your loves one(wife,kids). You see, you can have everything in the world but if you don't have enemies to brag and love ones to share YOU HAVE NOTHING.

Let my quote sink in you simp.
 
U
Near the end of May, I posted on this site for the last time. I was incredibly suicidal and felt like that was what I wanted to talk about. I asked for help.

I left the site because of the feelings it was giving me. I was disgruntled and was angry at some people on here. I left on my own terms and realized it was time to take a step back and look at my life.

I gave everything one last chance. Throughout the end of May and beginning of June, I saw this forum was not something I wanted to be a part of anymore. I wanted to try one last time to find happiness.

What I learned was: We were right… we were right all along.

The last 365 days have been tough. I left after I was forced to get the “CoVID-19 Vaccine”. I was hesitant to begin with but after I got it, my suspicions were only proven correct.

My schizo-paranoia worsened. For a while I had been dealing with small amounts of it but the day I got the “vaccine” everything came tumbling downwards. I was losing track of time wondering if I was being watched. I cried constantly at the thought that everyone could read my mind. I was truly broken. It got to the point where I tried to commit suicide.

It didn’t work, unfortunately. However, it gave me some motivation to improve myself. So, to everyone here and to the InkwellTear lurkers: here’s what I did.

- I got my very first job. I have been interacting with lots of people there and have created some decent relationships. (Including talking with foids).
- I started showering everyday again. The plandemic changed my schedule but I’m back where I used to be, everyday I clean myself up.
- I’ve been working out every now and then. Nothing extreme but enough to where I was not overweight.
- I’m taking care of my face too, using creams at least four times a week to help take care of my terrible acne.
- Continued attending meeting with my psychologist.
- I smiled as much as I could and really worked on my posture so I wasn’t slouching. I was standing up straight.
- I applied to a new school program for something I am actually passionate about.
- I even mustered up the courage to ask a foid out on a date, the first time I had ever done so.

And yet, nothing.

All this “confidence” I was supposed to gain from this… a myth. I never truly believed in it but I figured if it would happen, then great. Maybe my views would change.

So IT. What else do you want me to do? Showering doesn’t work. Creating relationships at work doesn’t do anything. Finding motivation for a personal passion doesn’t work. Faking confidence did not work. Exercising did not work. Not even facing my fears and asking a foid out worked. What other proof do you need to know you are wrong.

Let’s talk about what actually happened when I took your advice:

- I am constantly stressed at work. I am one of the hardest workers there and I actually do my job. I have come in on days when I was not scheduled to help out and stayed after shifts to help out as well. Just the other day, I was criticized for helping out. Some co-workers have spread lies about me. Oh, and everyone outside of my department hates me. The looks they give me in pure anger and disgust make me want to quit.
- My acne cream doesn’t do shit. I’ve tried multiple ones and not a single one of them work. It’s embedded in my DNA, because my brother gets the same problems.
- My body has never looked more uglier. My belly is a little bigger than I’d like and my arms are frail. My neck is fucked and my legs are just gross. All this, despite working out and getting a job that requires me to move around a lot.
- I got rejected by the foid I asked out and still see her a lot. Now I can’t look her in the eyes or even listen to her voice. I’m sure she has told so many people because the people she talks to have been looking at me with this condensing smug on their faces when I pass by.

It. Is. Over. Life will never treat me right.

That’s pretty much it for now. I spent the last day reading through all my old posts and am really depressed. It feels like so long ago because I have done so much self-improvement work, only for it to amount to absolutely nothing. It just led me right back here.

There’s no sympathy for the ugly, poor, and socially awkward. No sympathy for the selfless and kind. Only pity, condescension, and stress.

This is where I was supposed to be. This is the only place where people validate me. Do you IT cucks ever think about that? Regardless of our views on foids, when we talk about our disorders, illnesses, and stressors, we listen to each other. Not all the time and some people are shitty at it but only here do I have people help me understand what I’m going through and make me feel valid.

Funny how that works, eh? Everybody who believes they are worthless make me feel like I have some worth to me, even if it’s minuscule.

If you all would have me back again, I’d appreciate it. I really don’t want to be back. I don’t want to hate foids. What else am I supposed to do. Accept no one will love me and be happy with that. Fuck that. Here is where I will stay unless soyciety changes it’s ways, which I know it won’t.

Until the rope, we drown in our sorrows.
Until the rope, we drown in our sorrows :feelsokman::feelsokman::feelsokman::feelsokman:
 
Is nice you learnt it in the hard way and from first hand. Now follow blkpillpress advise.
 
Sorry to hear that, i dont believe much can be done, genetics are everything.

Bllkpillpress said a very wise thing, dont work hard work smart, work enough to get by and no more than that, no one will appreciate it anyway.
Don’t work hard, work smart is a book from 2004 and has become a popular meme. Bllkpillpress just used it to act smart.
 
IncelTear will probably respond with 'Maybe because you keep calling them foids' even though you don't call them that in real life.
 
Near the end of May, I posted on this site for the last time. I was incredibly suicidal and felt like that was what I wanted to talk about. I asked for help.

I left the site because of the feelings it was giving me. I was disgruntled and was angry at some people on here. I left on my own terms and realized it was time to take a step back and look at my life.

I gave everything one last chance. Throughout the end of May and beginning of June, I saw this forum was not something I wanted to be a part of anymore. I wanted to try one last time to find happiness.

What I learned was: We were right… we were right all along.

The last 365 days have been tough. I left after I was forced to get the “CoVID-19 Vaccine”. I was hesitant to begin with but after I got it, my suspicions were only proven correct.

My schizo-paranoia worsened. For a while I had been dealing with small amounts of it but the day I got the “vaccine” everything came tumbling downwards. I was losing track of time wondering if I was being watched. I cried constantly at the thought that everyone could read my mind. I was truly broken. It got to the point where I tried to commit suicide.

It didn’t work, unfortunately. However, it gave me some motivation to improve myself. So, to everyone here and to the InkwellTear lurkers: here’s what I did.

- I got my very first job. I have been interacting with lots of people there and have created some decent relationships. (Including talking with foids).
- I started showering everyday again. The plandemic changed my schedule but I’m back where I used to be, everyday I clean myself up.
- I’ve been working out every now and then. Nothing extreme but enough to where I was not overweight.
- I’m taking care of my face too, using creams at least four times a week to help take care of my terrible acne.
- Continued attending meeting with my psychologist.
- I smiled as much as I could and really worked on my posture so I wasn’t slouching. I was standing up straight.
- I applied to a new school program for something I am actually passionate about.
- I even mustered up the courage to ask a foid out on a date, the first time I had ever done so.

And yet, nothing.

All this “confidence” I was supposed to gain from this… a myth. I never truly believed in it but I figured if it would happen, then great. Maybe my views would change.

So IT. What else do you want me to do? Showering doesn’t work. Creating relationships at work doesn’t do anything. Finding motivation for a personal passion doesn’t work. Faking confidence did not work. Exercising did not work. Not even facing my fears and asking a foid out worked. What other proof do you need to know you are wrong.

Let’s talk about what actually happened when I took your advice:

- I am constantly stressed at work. I am one of the hardest workers there and I actually do my job. I have come in on days when I was not scheduled to help out and stayed after shifts to help out as well. Just the other day, I was criticized for helping out. Some co-workers have spread lies about me. Oh, and everyone outside of my department hates me. The looks they give me in pure anger and disgust make me want to quit.
- My acne cream doesn’t do shit. I’ve tried multiple ones and not a single one of them work. It’s embedded in my DNA, because my brother gets the same problems.
- My body has never looked more uglier. My belly is a little bigger than I’d like and my arms are frail. My neck is fucked and my legs are just gross. All this, despite working out and getting a job that requires me to move around a lot.
- I got rejected by the foid I asked out and still see her a lot. Now I can’t look her in the eyes or even listen to her voice. I’m sure she has told so many people because the people she talks to have been looking at me with this condensing smug on their faces when I pass by.

It. Is. Over. Life will never treat me right.

That’s pretty much it for now. I spent the last day reading through all my old posts and am really depressed. It feels like so long ago because I have done so much self-improvement work, only for it to amount to absolutely nothing. It just led me right back here.

There’s no sympathy for the ugly, poor, and socially awkward. No sympathy for the selfless and kind. Only pity, condescension, and stress.

This is where I was supposed to be. This is the only place where people validate me. Do you IT cucks ever think about that? Regardless of our views on foids, when we talk about our disorders, illnesses, and stressors, we listen to each other. Not all the time and some people are shitty at it but only here do I have people help me understand what I’m going through and make me feel valid.

Funny how that works, eh? Everybody who believes they are worthless make me feel like I have some worth to me, even if it’s minuscule.

If you all would have me back again, I’d appreciate it. I really don’t want to be back. I don’t want to hate foids. What else am I supposed to do. Accept no one will love me and be happy with that. Fuck that. Here is where I will stay unless soyciety changes it’s ways, which I know it won’t.

Until the rope, we drown in our sorrows.

I'm late, but here goes.

- IT isn't out to improve your life. They're out to psychologically manipulate you with their propaganda and make you feel worse so you rope faster. That might be a good or bad thing, depending on how you see it. I hope you now know not to give two fucks about what IT says and does. I'm sure there's plenty of newfags and bluefags like you on this site, hoping beyond hope that they ascend.

- I'm afraid normies got this right: self-improvement should be for feeling better, not to get validation from toilets. I'm fat, and I'm trying to lose weight, even though I know it won't make a difference because of my manlet body and subhuman face. I'm still doing it, just to feel better about my body. That is all. Do you still work out? Do you have goals for how fit you want to be?

- If what you're really looking for is sex, pay for it. In the process, you might just realise how unhappy a lot of normies are in their so called "pefect" lives and pay hookers just like you. It's just that, if you're terribly ugly, hookers might not put up an act convincing enough. Comes down to your wish and mental fortitude in such cases.

- You shouldn't do things you don't like, unless it actually benefits you. Why bother about relationships at work? Those people likely shit on you in private anyway. And what's this about asking a foid out? Do you not realise that she has had multiple trains run through her already whilst you fapped, miserable and alone in your room? I'm obligated to call this out as cucked.

- Don't mind the mindless yapping over here. It's an equivalent of the "rough play" that apparently a lot of men engage in. I don't understand how someone can be bothered that much by internet comments, all I can say is to not take it seriously. I engage in it myself, and I don't really mean anything I say. It's some fun in our otherwise stagnant and morose life.

Cheers lad
 
That's quire brutal. We're all trapped here , welcome back
 
Sounds like me when I landed my door to door sales job. It had super good earning potential so I was like "i'll make lots of sales and then within about a year I'll be bumped up to a six figure consulting position." I was willing to put up with a lot to get there and push myself as hard as I could to get there. I would go out in the pouring rain and freezing snow, getting the cops called on me at about once a month. But nope, nobody wants to buy shit from a subhuman male. I practiced my pitch a shitload. I constantly asked my manager for feedback on my pitch so I could improve it. It got to the point where I did my pitch for him and he was stunned by how good it was. And yet I couldn't make any sales and my manager just couldn't understand why my pitch wasn't working.

But a few months after I joined a blonde chad joins and starts making sales hand over fist without even trying.

It was easily the most blackpilling experience of my life. I realized no matter how hard I tried or worked, it would make no difference. Attractive people were always just going to coast by while I get nothing.
 
Self-improvement usually takes years to see any results
 
There’s no sympathy for the ugly, poor, and socially awkward. No sympathy for the selfless and kind. Only pity, condescension, and stress.

Being kind and selfless only gets you to be a doormat. Been there, done that, received only disdain and pity laughs.

We are thought that intelligence is to have good grades on a subject, or performing well your work. Lies.
Intelligence is the ability to adapt, being intelligent among the smart people. And the most savage among savage people.

In this regard, I am stupid.
 
I started showering everyday again.
That's your mistake and why your life is fucked up. You must shower at least 3 times a day. How are you planning on ascending if you don't fuck up your skin with hourly showers?:feelskek:
 
Near the end of May, I posted on this site for the last time. I was incredibly suicidal and felt like that was what I wanted to talk about. I asked for help.

I left the site because of the feelings it was giving me. I was disgruntled and was angry at some people on here. I left on my own terms and realized it was time to take a step back and look at my life.

I gave everything one last chance. Throughout the end of May and beginning of June, I saw this forum was not something I wanted to be a part of anymore. I wanted to try one last time to find happiness.

What I learned was: We were right… we were right all along.

The last 365 days have been tough. I left after I was forced to get the “CoVID-19 Vaccine”. I was hesitant to begin with but after I got it, my suspicions were only proven correct.

My schizo-paranoia worsened. For a while I had been dealing with small amounts of it but the day I got the “vaccine” everything came tumbling downwards. I was losing track of time wondering if I was being watched. I cried constantly at the thought that everyone could read my mind. I was truly broken. It got to the point where I tried to commit suicide.

It didn’t work, unfortunately. However, it gave me some motivation to improve myself. So, to everyone here and to the InkwellTear lurkers: here’s what I did.

- I got my very first job. I have been interacting with lots of people there and have created some decent relationships. (Including talking with foids).
- I started showering everyday again. The plandemic changed my schedule but I’m back where I used to be, everyday I clean myself up.
- I’ve been working out every now and then. Nothing extreme but enough to where I was not overweight.
- I’m taking care of my face too, using creams at least four times a week to help take care of my terrible acne.
- Continued attending meeting with my psychologist.
- I smiled as much as I could and really worked on my posture so I wasn’t slouching. I was standing up straight.
- I applied to a new school program for something I am actually passionate about.
- I even mustered up the courage to ask a foid out on a date, the first time I had ever done so.

And yet, nothing.

All this “confidence” I was supposed to gain from this… a myth. I never truly believed in it but I figured if it would happen, then great. Maybe my views would change.

So IT. What else do you want me to do? Showering doesn’t work. Creating relationships at work doesn’t do anything. Finding motivation for a personal passion doesn’t work. Faking confidence did not work. Exercising did not work. Not even facing my fears and asking a foid out worked. What other proof do you need to know you are wrong.

Let’s talk about what actually happened when I took your advice:

- I am constantly stressed at work. I am one of the hardest workers there and I actually do my job. I have come in on days when I was not scheduled to help out and stayed after shifts to help out as well. Just the other day, I was criticized for helping out. Some co-workers have spread lies about me. Oh, and everyone outside of my department hates me. The looks they give me in pure anger and disgust make me want to quit.
- My acne cream doesn’t do shit. I’ve tried multiple ones and not a single one of them work. It’s embedded in my DNA, because my brother gets the same problems.
- My body has never looked more uglier. My belly is a little bigger than I’d like and my arms are frail. My neck is fucked and my legs are just gross. All this, despite working out and getting a job that requires me to move around a lot.
- I got rejected by the foid I asked out and still see her a lot. Now I can’t look her in the eyes or even listen to her voice. I’m sure she has told so many people because the people she talks to have been looking at me with this condensing smug on their faces when I pass by.

It. Is. Over. Life will never treat me right.

That’s pretty much it for now. I spent the last day reading through all my old posts and am really depressed. It feels like so long ago because I have done so much self-improvement work, only for it to amount to absolutely nothing. It just led me right back here.

There’s no sympathy for the ugly, poor, and socially awkward. No sympathy for the selfless and kind. Only pity, condescension, and stress.

This is where I was supposed to be. This is the only place where people validate me. Do you IT cucks ever think about that? Regardless of our views on foids, when we talk about our disorders, illnesses, and stressors, we listen to each other. Not all the time and some people are shitty at it but only here do I have people help me understand what I’m going through and make me feel valid.

Funny how that works, eh? Everybody who believes they are worthless make me feel like I have some worth to me, even if it’s minuscule.

If you all would have me back again, I’d appreciate it. I really don’t want to be back. I don’t want to hate foids. What else am I supposed to do. Accept no one will love me and be happy with that. Fuck that. Here is where I will stay unless soyciety changes it’s ways, which I know it won’t.

Until the rope, we drown in our sorrows.
Sorry to hear that, honestly you can’t change genetics and fate,,unfortunately acceptance is the best bet atp:panties:
 
Very ironically, IT wouldn't touch this.

Reading this post almost made me cry, because the horrible things we have to endure, the horrible truth we scream out loud... are not just products of our imagination, paranoia or whatever. It's true.

Sometimes I'm surprised when I'm not that sad (happens from time to time). Deep down I know the truth, but it's like my own brain tries to keep it burried in my mind so that it doesn't prevent me from doing nothing. Self-defense mechanism?
This shows that the kind of problems we have to deal it is FAR FAR FAR WORSE than anyone's.

May the almighty rope come to us once every shred of hope finally faded away.
 
To advance in life jfl.... by that you mean to fuck escorts jfl at your simp mindset. You see if you have money and you're alone you have nothing because you cannot share it with your loves one(wife,kids). You see, you can have everything in the world but if you don't have enemies to brag and love ones to share YOU HAVE NOTHING.

Let my quote sink in you simp.
 
Self improvement is for Normies not for us.
 
Near the end of May, I posted on this site for the last time. I was incredibly suicidal and felt like that was what I wanted to talk about. I asked for help.

I left the site because of the feelings it was giving me. I was disgruntled and was angry at some people on here. I left on my own terms and realized it was time to take a step back and look at my life.

I gave everything one last chance. Throughout the end of May and beginning of June, I saw this forum was not something I wanted to be a part of anymore. I wanted to try one last time to find happiness.

What I learned was: We were right… we were right all along.

The last 365 days have been tough. I left after I was forced to get the “CoVID-19 Vaccine”. I was hesitant to begin with but after I got it, my suspicions were only proven correct.

My schizo-paranoia worsened. For a while I had been dealing with small amounts of it but the day I got the “vaccine” everything came tumbling downwards. I was losing track of time wondering if I was being watched. I cried constantly at the thought that everyone could read my mind. I was truly broken. It got to the point where I tried to commit suicide.

It didn’t work, unfortunately. However, it gave me some motivation to improve myself. So, to everyone here and to the InkwellTear lurkers: here’s what I did.

- I got my very first job. I have been interacting with lots of people there and have created some decent relationships. (Including talking with foids).
- I started showering everyday again. The plandemic changed my schedule but I’m back where I used to be, everyday I clean myself up.
- I’ve been working out every now and then. Nothing extreme but enough to where I was not overweight.
- I’m taking care of my face too, using creams at least four times a week to help take care of my terrible acne.
- Continued attending meeting with my psychologist.
- I smiled as much as I could and really worked on my posture so I wasn’t slouching. I was standing up straight.
- I applied to a new school program for something I am actually passionate about.
- I even mustered up the courage to ask a foid out on a date, the first time I had ever done so.

And yet, nothing.

All this “confidence” I was supposed to gain from this… a myth. I never truly believed in it but I figured if it would happen, then great. Maybe my views would change.

So IT. What else do you want me to do? Showering doesn’t work. Creating relationships at work doesn’t do anything. Finding motivation for a personal passion doesn’t work. Faking confidence did not work. Exercising did not work. Not even facing my fears and asking a foid out worked. What other proof do you need to know you are wrong.

Let’s talk about what actually happened when I took your advice:

- I am constantly stressed at work. I am one of the hardest workers there and I actually do my job. I have come in on days when I was not scheduled to help out and stayed after shifts to help out as well. Just the other day, I was criticized for helping out. Some co-workers have spread lies about me. Oh, and everyone outside of my department hates me. The looks they give me in pure anger and disgust make me want to quit.
- My acne cream doesn’t do shit. I’ve tried multiple ones and not a single one of them work. It’s embedded in my DNA, because my brother gets the same problems.
- My body has never looked more uglier. My belly is a little bigger than I’d like and my arms are frail. My neck is fucked and my legs are just gross. All this, despite working out and getting a job that requires me to move around a lot.
- I got rejected by the foid I asked out and still see her a lot. Now I can’t look her in the eyes or even listen to her voice. I’m sure she has told so many people because the people she talks to have been looking at me with this condensing smug on their faces when I pass by.

It. Is. Over. Life will never treat me right.

That’s pretty much it for now. I spent the last day reading through all my old posts and am really depressed. It feels like so long ago because I have done so much self-improvement work, only for it to amount to absolutely nothing. It just led me right back here.

There’s no sympathy for the ugly, poor, and socially awkward. No sympathy for the selfless and kind. Only pity, condescension, and stress.

This is where I was supposed to be. This is the only place where people validate me. Do you IT cucks ever think about that? Regardless of our views on foids, when we talk about our disorders, illnesses, and stressors, we listen to each other. Not all the time and some people are shitty at it but only here do I have people help me understand what I’m going through and make me feel valid.

Funny how that works, eh? Everybody who believes they are worthless make me feel like I have some worth to me, even if it’s minuscule.

If you all would have me back again, I’d appreciate it. I really don’t want to be back. I don’t want to hate foids. What else am I supposed to do. Accept no one will love me and be happy with that. Fuck that. Here is where I will stay unless soyciety changes it’s ways, which I know it won’t.

Until the rope, we drown in our sorrows.
Welcome back blackpill brother :blackpill:
 
i dont know this site is comfy :feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy::feelscomfy:
 
Moneymaxx then escortmaxx and/or SEAmaxx (if not ethnic)

Believe me there is no other way.

And when u get to a certain point there will be NO way, so do it now. Fk what anyone tells u. Youre on your own, just dooooo itttt bro :feelsautistic:

Lol seriously though. Thats the only way
 
That fucking sucks. That's why I've always had the outlook that self improvement is just that, for the self. Depending on other's validation will get you nowhere and will leave you empty, you need to have a base of understanding that you're doing this for yourself before going out and trying to date. It saves you from hitting rock bottom.
 
lmao jabbie get the fauci ouchie
 

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