Words can't describe how indecisive I am. It's bad, it's really bad.
Even when it comes to major life decisions, I either block it from my mind until the last possible moment and then I have to pick something and I'm stuck with it. OR, I am anxious about it and debate with myself in my head and flip-flop and change my mind 5 times a day and still leave it for the last minute when I just pick something cause I have to and then I regret it immediately afterwards. I'm so indecisive I can't even decide which of these 2 scenarios happen to me more often. Damn, I lived a life with no experiences so I have no personality, I flip flop all the time.
Even when it comes to major life decisions, I either block it from my mind until the last possible moment and then I have to pick something and I'm stuck with it. OR, I am anxious about it and debate with myself in my head and flip-flop and change my mind 5 times a day and still leave it for the last minute when I just pick something cause I have to and then I regret it immediately afterwards. I'm so indecisive I can't even decide which of these 2 scenarios happen to me more often. Damn, I lived a life with no experiences so I have no personality, I flip flop all the time.
Example 1: I've had World of Warcraft installed on my PC for like a month. It requires paying for a subscription, so I can't just play it. Normal people would contemplate it a bit and then either buy it or delete it. Me? I agonize about it every day. I google shit about WoW to make me hate it. I google "wow garbage, wow sucks, wow is a chore" and things like that. Or the exact opposite, something to inspire me to play.
Anyway, every day I think today I'll finally pay for a month and get it over with. But I don't, cause I'm just so indecisive. I even uninstalled and reinstalled a few times.
I also did this back in January for 2 months. Agonized over it daily. Eventually gave up and uninstalled it. But then the cravings eventually come back.
To make this even funnier: I already grinded the money for this. It's not even real money that I'd have to spend, it's blizzard balance. I spent several hundreds of hours just grinding like a bot, killing mobs in-game like a moron for basically pennies an hour. But I have the balance now, I wouldn't even have to spend real money. And yet I still don't buy it cause I'm just super indicisive.
Actually, like a year ago I went through this too. Agonized over it for a while. Made multiple trial characters, level to lvl 20 and deleted them, like 5 characters. Pulled the trigger eventually, bought the game. THEN I PANICKED. OMG, IT'S SO BORING. Ended up contacting support after 15 minutes of playing and they reverted the decision and refunded me the blizzard balance. Phew.
Well, this is all made worse because at the beginning of the last expansion I bought a sub and I uninstalled the game after 3 days. I hated it so much. So now I know that if I play I'll likely hate it and uninstall it. But I crave it, it's a sickness. My brain just won't let me be until I play retail. Damn, I asked my dad for money and I used real money to pay for that shit. Full price too, Legion+Bfa at the end of legion. So much fucking money, and I only played 3 days of Bfa. Still hate myself and Blizzard for that.
Example 2: For like 2 or 3 years now I've been searching for games every day. Like several hours a day searching for games to play. I install something and then I uninstall it in several minutes. But mostly I don't even install anything, I just search. Anyway, nowadays I ignore most games but I have this thing I do with several games it's like I'm obsessed. I install a game, like Minecraft for example. I have the craving to play it right, I'm fully convinced this will be it this time and I'll finally scratch that gaming itch this time. But I install it and play it and 5 minutes later I decide it's not for me, I don't like it. Then the next day I get the strong craving again, so I decide to install it. Rinse and repeat, I uninstall it cause I decide it's boring again. With Minecraft I must've done this like 200 times. Sometimes I stop for several months and then I start again. League of Legends consumed my entire summer this way, must've installed it like 100 times. Luckily I deleted my account in september, it's gone and I'm done with that one. But I still keep searching for games, installing and uninstalling.
There's more but I can't recall right now.
Ohh right. Example 3: I decide to spend less time on this forum. So I deleted my cookies so I can't just press the letter "i" in my browser and go to the site. But then 5 minutes later I do. Rinse and repeat and I deleted my cookies 50 times in a week. And then I start just browsing it in incognito so cookies don't save, but then I end up having to put in my password every time I check the site. And then I swear I'm done for good. But then 5 minutes later I'm back.
Example 4: I write a big, big thread. Like 10 paragraphs. And then I edit it down to 1 paragraph cause I changed my mind and I don't want to doxx myself too much by revealing so many details of my life. Or if it's too late to edit I ask the mods to delete it. They must be sick of me by now
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Anyway, every day I think today I'll finally pay for a month and get it over with. But I don't, cause I'm just so indecisive. I even uninstalled and reinstalled a few times.
I also did this back in January for 2 months. Agonized over it daily. Eventually gave up and uninstalled it. But then the cravings eventually come back.
To make this even funnier: I already grinded the money for this. It's not even real money that I'd have to spend, it's blizzard balance. I spent several hundreds of hours just grinding like a bot, killing mobs in-game like a moron for basically pennies an hour. But I have the balance now, I wouldn't even have to spend real money. And yet I still don't buy it cause I'm just super indicisive.
Actually, like a year ago I went through this too. Agonized over it for a while. Made multiple trial characters, level to lvl 20 and deleted them, like 5 characters. Pulled the trigger eventually, bought the game. THEN I PANICKED. OMG, IT'S SO BORING. Ended up contacting support after 15 minutes of playing and they reverted the decision and refunded me the blizzard balance. Phew.
Well, this is all made worse because at the beginning of the last expansion I bought a sub and I uninstalled the game after 3 days. I hated it so much. So now I know that if I play I'll likely hate it and uninstall it. But I crave it, it's a sickness. My brain just won't let me be until I play retail. Damn, I asked my dad for money and I used real money to pay for that shit. Full price too, Legion+Bfa at the end of legion. So much fucking money, and I only played 3 days of Bfa. Still hate myself and Blizzard for that.
Example 2: For like 2 or 3 years now I've been searching for games every day. Like several hours a day searching for games to play. I install something and then I uninstall it in several minutes. But mostly I don't even install anything, I just search. Anyway, nowadays I ignore most games but I have this thing I do with several games it's like I'm obsessed. I install a game, like Minecraft for example. I have the craving to play it right, I'm fully convinced this will be it this time and I'll finally scratch that gaming itch this time. But I install it and play it and 5 minutes later I decide it's not for me, I don't like it. Then the next day I get the strong craving again, so I decide to install it. Rinse and repeat, I uninstall it cause I decide it's boring again. With Minecraft I must've done this like 200 times. Sometimes I stop for several months and then I start again. League of Legends consumed my entire summer this way, must've installed it like 100 times. Luckily I deleted my account in september, it's gone and I'm done with that one. But I still keep searching for games, installing and uninstalling.
There's more but I can't recall right now.
Ohh right. Example 3: I decide to spend less time on this forum. So I deleted my cookies so I can't just press the letter "i" in my browser and go to the site. But then 5 minutes later I do. Rinse and repeat and I deleted my cookies 50 times in a week. And then I start just browsing it in incognito so cookies don't save, but then I end up having to put in my password every time I check the site. And then I swear I'm done for good. But then 5 minutes later I'm back.
Example 4: I write a big, big thread. Like 10 paragraphs. And then I edit it down to 1 paragraph cause I changed my mind and I don't want to doxx myself too much by revealing so many details of my life. Or if it's too late to edit I ask the mods to delete it. They must be sick of me by now
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