So, the other day, I wanted to go out to really try to approach girls.
At 11 AM, I put on my best, classiest gentleman outfit. Panamanian fedora, charcoal colored designer trenchcoat, black Timberland boots, and fingerless gloves. I sprayed on the smelliest Versace cologne and immediately entered my car and drove to my campus.
Upon arrival, I caught a quick glance of a cute blonde girl. She had piercing green eyes, nice tits, and a nice smile. As soon as I saw her, I ran up to her and started sniffing and licking her beautiful hair. She immediately called me a smelly inkwell and told me that I had a garbage personality and that I needed to shower. All of a sudden, I heard her making beeping noises. She stammered, at 140 decibels: "INCEL DETECTED. INCEL DETECTED. INCELS.CO ACCOUNT FOUND. ORDINARYOTAKU MEMBER IDENTIFICATION NUMBER 40. JOIN DATE NOVEMBER 7TH 2017." That set off every guy within the vicinity around me, and their eyes turned red, their heads cocked 360 degrees, and they started chasing me down. I guess her personality detector went off when I was creeping on her and she found out that I had an incels.co account.
I immediately drove home to take a shower before the white knights could catch me. I showered for about 38 hours straight, and I even started lifting in the shower while watching re-runs of Captain Marvel and other feminist-produced flicks to get better results. After my showering session, I proceeded to log onto my computer and immediately deleted my incels.co account.
After all of that, I slept for 14 hours, and overnight, I turned from a 4/10 truecel to a 10/10 Gigachad. I guess it was a side effect from bettering my personality. I got dressed in a slim-fit designer button up with some nice loafers and some dark slacks before driving over to the campus.
I drove back to the campus to find the girl that I approached, and sure enough, I found her sitting on a bench in front of the campus center. I re-approached again since I was unrecognizable, and she immediately took a liking to me. We talked for a little bit, and she introduced herself as Jessica. I gave Jessica my phone number, and we left on a good note, and she said she was even gonna meet me in my house tonight!
I thought I was all fine and dandy, until the inevitable happened. As I looked her way, I saw the school janitor pass by. His name was Todd, but he was an Indian, from the Indian city of Guwahati. Though Todd was working as a janitor, he had an engineering degree. He was 5'2, had very dark skin, had cystic acne, balding (NW7 to be exact), and was extremely progressive, just like me. I immediately turned my direction towards Jessica, who, all of a sudden, tackled Todd to the ground, without him saying a single word, and started fellating him.
I got very pissed, and stormed home in a bad mood. I texted Jessica why she did what she did, and she said that she detected that he had a much better personality than me. I looked in the mirror, punched it, and started crying. I did all of this for nothing. At around 8:30 pm, Jessica suddenly texted me again. Jessica texted to me that she called off the meeting at my house anyways, and she dignifies how I watched Captain Marvel on repeat 128 times, as her personality detector told her that, but Todd, despite being very ugly, watched it 129 times, AND he watched the behind the scenes footage.
I was stunned, and I still can't believe that I got my girl stolen from me by a short, balding, Indian janitor with cystic acne. I guess no matter how good you look, a better personality always seems to win girls over.
At 11 AM, I put on my best, classiest gentleman outfit. Panamanian fedora, charcoal colored designer trenchcoat, black Timberland boots, and fingerless gloves. I sprayed on the smelliest Versace cologne and immediately entered my car and drove to my campus.
Upon arrival, I caught a quick glance of a cute blonde girl. She had piercing green eyes, nice tits, and a nice smile. As soon as I saw her, I ran up to her and started sniffing and licking her beautiful hair. She immediately called me a smelly inkwell and told me that I had a garbage personality and that I needed to shower. All of a sudden, I heard her making beeping noises. She stammered, at 140 decibels: "INCEL DETECTED. INCEL DETECTED. INCELS.CO ACCOUNT FOUND. ORDINARYOTAKU MEMBER IDENTIFICATION NUMBER 40. JOIN DATE NOVEMBER 7TH 2017." That set off every guy within the vicinity around me, and their eyes turned red, their heads cocked 360 degrees, and they started chasing me down. I guess her personality detector went off when I was creeping on her and she found out that I had an incels.co account.
I immediately drove home to take a shower before the white knights could catch me. I showered for about 38 hours straight, and I even started lifting in the shower while watching re-runs of Captain Marvel and other feminist-produced flicks to get better results. After my showering session, I proceeded to log onto my computer and immediately deleted my incels.co account.
After all of that, I slept for 14 hours, and overnight, I turned from a 4/10 truecel to a 10/10 Gigachad. I guess it was a side effect from bettering my personality. I got dressed in a slim-fit designer button up with some nice loafers and some dark slacks before driving over to the campus.
I drove back to the campus to find the girl that I approached, and sure enough, I found her sitting on a bench in front of the campus center. I re-approached again since I was unrecognizable, and she immediately took a liking to me. We talked for a little bit, and she introduced herself as Jessica. I gave Jessica my phone number, and we left on a good note, and she said she was even gonna meet me in my house tonight!
I thought I was all fine and dandy, until the inevitable happened. As I looked her way, I saw the school janitor pass by. His name was Todd, but he was an Indian, from the Indian city of Guwahati. Though Todd was working as a janitor, he had an engineering degree. He was 5'2, had very dark skin, had cystic acne, balding (NW7 to be exact), and was extremely progressive, just like me. I immediately turned my direction towards Jessica, who, all of a sudden, tackled Todd to the ground, without him saying a single word, and started fellating him.
I got very pissed, and stormed home in a bad mood. I texted Jessica why she did what she did, and she said that she detected that he had a much better personality than me. I looked in the mirror, punched it, and started crying. I did all of this for nothing. At around 8:30 pm, Jessica suddenly texted me again. Jessica texted to me that she called off the meeting at my house anyways, and she dignifies how I watched Captain Marvel on repeat 128 times, as her personality detector told her that, but Todd, despite being very ugly, watched it 129 times, AND he watched the behind the scenes footage.
I was stunned, and I still can't believe that I got my girl stolen from me by a short, balding, Indian janitor with cystic acne. I guess no matter how good you look, a better personality always seems to win girls over.
