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5 September 2022 yesterday was actually 4 September but of course since I sleep at 7 AM I made a little mistake maybe one day I will sleep like a normal person but I don’t think I’ll ever be a normal person so might not happen. It’s actually so hard for me to journal in the apartment because of course the kind of things I say I don’t necessarily want other people to hear them nor read them well one day I want them to know of all this but for the moment I don’t think it’s a really good show so I have to find a place I thought going to the park would be a good option but now I’m in a parking lot on campus where there’s a lot of echo I think a lot of people can hear me you have to be an extreme loner to ever be in a place like this in circumstances like this but at the same time that’s what I’m actually about. I feel like I should’ve worked more of course I woke up very late I was able to take care of some stuff especially to get my loan my student loan I hope they’re going to give me the fucking money so that I won’t have to commit an actual crime for this. I know I’m definitely not an exception in the way that someone’s coming my way goddammit or no he’s talking on the phone I think he’s just like me yeah he just walking around turns out I’m not gonna die today. this function this text function dictation whatever the fuck they wanna call it it’s not perfect so there’s a lot of things that it doesn’t pick up properly I have to correct myself and it’s kind of annoying it’s one of the annoying things that they are I don’t know if there’s another app something more accurate that I could use eventually I’m gonna look for this. I’m scared that I’m never gonna come back to this cause you know whenever you write something you never come back to it but at the same time really I just want to put my words somewhere I just want to make sure that I leave a mark. I’m pretty sure that I could write hundreds of pages in just one day with all the shit that I have in my head. One thing is that a lot of things are going to be said in this diary a lot of improvisation and a lot of things that I probably don’t even expect myself to write but the only exceptions will be my family. As far as I’m concerned society is an enemy.
