There's a girl I sit next to in class that I see 3 times a week. I've always thought she was cute. Wanted to talk to her. I constantly psyched myself out of it for like weeks before I said something. She seemed nice. We text about class, we met at the library twice to work on homework together. I'm not sure what my intentions were but I did know that I was attracted to her at least physically and that I did really enjoy talking to her. I kinda wrote off hook ups as something only conventionally attractive guys do so I don't think I just wanted sex.
I finally work up the courage to ask her to hang out outside the context of class and she says she's down to meetup with her friends and my friends after finals and go to the city to celebrate the end of the semester. We go out and go bar hopping and I try talking to her but she seems a lot more interested in my friend. He is actually conventionally attractive. Like I know everyone says "Chads" aren't real but if they are he's one. Tall, masculine features, good hair. He looks like one of those tiktok guys. He get's so much attention from women it's ridiculous.
So she's more interested in him, and I kinda give them some space because I'm clearly not wanted. We go to another bar get a few more drinks, and next thing I know they're making out against a wall. From there, we group up to one more place and my friend and the girl says they feel like going home so they're going to "uber back to campus".
So obviously I knew that wasn't their plan. The next morning comes, and I text my friends. Obviously he scored hooked up with her. They say that I was a g to invite women to rage with us. I feel like shit and just try to mask it. I'm not mad at anyone other than myself. Cute girls want to hookup with hot guys so I cant be upset with her, It's just the natural order of things. I didn't tell my friends that I was interested in her as they always try to hype me up to make a move, if he had known, I know he would've played wingman, but I didn't want to invite her and her friends out and make it seem like it was just so I could try to sleep with her so it's really my fault there.
It just feels so shitty. This isn't the first time something like this happens. I meet a cute girl and she's more interested in one of my more physically attractive friends. It's so demoralizing. This is like the 10th time in the last 2 years. I know people say looks are subjective but it's hard to feel this way when I'm the ugly friend 100% of the time. I don't see a way to rationalize this that doesn't fuel toxic views I'm trying to avoid, but there's really no other explanation. She's known me and she seemed to enjoy my company for weeks but when my good looking friend shows up, she makes out with him and sleeps with him after knowing him for less than 3 hours. It just feels like the perfect evidence that no matter how my personality is, it's not going to do much for me since I don't have a good enough physical appearance to back it up.
