Serious I'm tired of living vicariously through games

[Deleted member 8353]

For nearly a decade, that's what I've done, that's how I've coped. But it just doesn't work for me anymore. Lately I've been feeling an unfamiliar sense of ambition, I can't just sit in my room rotting anymore, I have to get out of here. I've been idly watching time pass for long enough, telling myself that I'll fix my life later, and now I'm halfway through my 20s.

It's just so difficult to get out of this pattern when I've been doing it for so long, and even simply leaving my house makes me nervous. The irony is that this is the one area where therapy is actually helping me, but in a very strange way. It's not so much that I find the therapy itself that helpful, but just the fact that it makes me leave my room, even if just for a short while. I can't tell myself "I'll do it later" when I actually have somewhere to be. I think the next thing I have to do is let someone other than me cut my hair, which I haven't done since 2015, as I've done it well enough myself. It makes me nervous but I have to do it, even if it's a foid.

I know how this all sounds, but that's what happens when you drop out of society in your late teens. If I don't change something soon, I'm probably going to rope, I can't take it anymore. It doesn't matter if I hate people, or don't even have a reason to change, I mean trying to lessen my mental anguish should be enough of a reason.

 

[roboticsmaxx]

Lately I've been feeling an unfamiliar sense of ambition

Actually when you hit your thirties you'll suprise yourself at what you are actually capable of achieving. Note most software developers, mangaka, directors, hit their prime at 30-40. The ones who make your favorite videogames are mostly in that age group. It's time to stop consuming, time to start creating.

 

[Ropemaxx]

For nearly a decade, that's what I've done, that's how I've coped. But it just doesn't work for me anymore. Lately I've been feeling an unfamiliar sense of ambition, I can't just sit in my room rotting anymore, I have to get out of here. I've been idly watching time pass for long enough, telling myself that I'll fix my life later, and now I'm halfway through my 20s.

It's just so difficult to get out of this pattern when I've been doing it for so long, and even simply leaving my house makes me nervous. The irony is that this is the one area where therapy is actually helping me, but in a very strange way. It's not so much that I find the therapy itself that helpful, but just the fact that it makes me leave my room, even if just for a short while. I can't tell myself "I'll do it later" when I actually have somewhere to be. I think the next thing I have to do is let someone other than me cut my hair, which I haven't done since 2015, as I've done it well enough myself. It makes me nervous but I have to do it, even if it's a foid.

I know how this all sounds, but that's what happens when you drop out of society in your late teens. If I don't change something soon, I'm probably going to rope, I can't take it anymore. It doesn't matter if I hate people, or don't even have a reason to change, I mean trying to lessen my mental anguish should be enough of a reason.

Bro you literally describe me 99%. I tried getting back into society but i can tell you there is nothing out there for ugly low status anxious men.
I missed all my teenage years into my 20s playing vidya games. When i tried partying and stuff later i realized it made me even more lonely as an ugly shy man. So many people out there with gfs etc, hot girls everywhere. But i would go home alone every single night. In the nightclub scene people are hostile, and you get eaten alive. There is no sympathy for low status males in the world, remember society can sacrifice millions of them if needed without blinking an eye.

Now i've retreated back and im just waiting to rope. I used to have hope but nothing matters to me now, i don't care about anythign because the illusion that things would get better is gone.

 

[No1stupid]

As someone who does get their hair cut every few months by a foid, you aren’t missing much. Most of it is sitting in awkward silence, or having them ask triggering questions for an incel like “What have you been up to lately?” or “What do you do for fun on the weekends?”

Leaving the house might seem like a good proposition at first, but there are blackpills everywhere. I used to go for evening jogs in the neighborhood by my apartment, but I have been stopped by the police multiple times, and got bullied by some teenage foids who I encountered on my route. The outside spaces are their territory, and you are not welcome there.

 

[Akhnai]

Actually when you hit your thirties you'll suprise yourself at what you are actually capable of achieving

Man,i hope you are right

 

[LastGerman]

I know how this all sounds, but that's what happens when you drop out of society in your late teens.

Sounds familiar.

If I don't change something soon, I'm probably going to rope, I can't take it anymore.

It will never be the same anymore. At this point everything now is artificial but you know it for yourself. Every move we do now is nothing but an act. We are manchildren and I despise it.

or having them ask triggering questions for an incel like “What have you been up to lately?” or “What do you do for fun on the weekends?”

Wait, female hairdresser ask you such questions?

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Now i've retreated back and im just waiting to rope. I used to have hope but nothing matters to me now, i don't care about anythign because the illusion that things would get better is gone.

It's not even that I really have much hope now, it's just a combination of wanting to do a few things before I die, and feeling so bad sitting in my room that I'd rather just suffer though the anxiety. I can genuinely feel myself getting close to suicide if I don't do something.

It will never be the same anymore. At this point everything now is artificial but you know it for yourself. Every move we do now is nothing but an act. We are manchildren and I despise it.

Yeah, but it's not like I didn't have a reason to isolate myself in the first place. I don't think of it as opportunities that I missed, but rather they simply weren't there at all. I've ironically been feeling much more self assured and confident since I rejected the notion of free will, I guess it's allowed me to forgive myself.

 

[Mystic]

Bro you literally describe me 99%. I tried getting back into society but i can tell you there is nothing out there for ugly low status anxious men.
I missed all my teenage years into my 20s playing vidya games. When i tried partying and stuff later i realized it made me even more lonely as an ugly shy man. So many people out there with gfs etc, hot girls everywhere. But i would go home alone every single night. In the nightclub scene people are hostile, and you get eaten alive. There is no sympathy for low status males in the world, remember society can sacrifice millions of them if needed without blinking an eye.

Now i've retreated back and im just waiting to rope. I used to have hope but nothing matters to me now, i don't care about anythign because the illusion that things would get better is gone.

and you describe me 99%

 

[vic624]

OP is having trouble breaking habits ingrained in the paleocortex part of his brain. Watch 80 seconds from 2:30 of this vid for a vivid example:

 

[inceldaygamer_]

I hate this same feeling when I was 25 and now at 30 it's come back twice as strong.

You're minds telling you "Do something" but then you are like "Do what?" you're mind is like "ANYTHING!!!"

I think that's the vague motivation that drives me to approach foids.

I'm coping by breaking a boundary that I wouldn't normally.

But that's all it is, a cope.

I'm never gonna ascend from it.

But it makes me feel like I am doing something, go figure.

 

[iblamemyself]

It's never too late to change and achieve something. Gaming is a subhuman cope. Jews love it when physically healthy males game their potential away.

 

[azakhan]

Boys and women consume culture, men create it.

 

[Deleted member 21504]

So much cringe in this thread. *snap* *snap* *snap*. It's all in your head, man. It's already fucking over.

 

[iblamemyself]

So much cringe in this thread. *snap* *snap* *snap*. It's all in your head, man. It's already fucking over.

Username checks out

 

[Deleted member 21504]

Username checks out

Omg THIS, SO MUCH THIS!!! Get the reddit stuff out of here.

 

[Joker]

checking my hours on Steam is the ultimate ropepill
thousands, tens of thousands of hours over all these years, sunken into these virtual fucking worlds
my entire teens and youth, spent in front of a screen clicking a mouse and tapping on keys
all that time, all those thousands of hours, I can never get back
and the ultimate kicker, they don't even give me any joy anymore.

 

[TheReaper]

escapism is the only thing that makes life bearable,
what's the point of "man up and accept reality" is all you get is pain and anger?
I would rather lose myself in the fictional world if it was possible.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

checking my hours on Steam is the ultimate ropepill
thousands, tens of thousands of hours over all these years, sunken into these virtual fucking worlds
my entire teens and youth, spent in front of a screen clicking a mouse and tapping on keys
all that time, all those thousands of hours, I can never get back
and the ultimate kicker, they don't even give me any joy anymore.

Yeah, this has been my experience too, but I'm going to try to change. I've been saying to myself "well I've already wasted so much time, so why bother", "girls don't like me anyway, so what do I even have to work towards", and other things of that nature. It's finally occurred to me that I need to stop making myself miserable and procrastinating. Sure, I'll probably never ascend, but that doesn't mean there aren't other things I could do. Not to mention that, in my current state, I really don't enjoy most of my copes anyway.

However after being NEET for so long it's extremely hard to change, at least for me. I mean almost a decade has past, so many years just gone.

 

[virgin4life]

It's just so difficult to get out of this pattern when I've been doing it for so long

It's impossible bro. I am almost 38 now and still vidya is my primary cope.

and the ultimate kicker, they don't even give me any joy anymore.

No the ultimate kicker is that you are still going to do it eventhough they don't give you joy anymore. And tens of thousands of hours will be wasted on games in the future. Because whenever you try to change your life you will realize there is nothing because building up a family requires that a foid finds you attractive.

 

[GeneticFilth]

As someone who does get their hair cut every few months by a foid, you aren’t missing much. Most of it is sitting in awkward silence, or having them ask triggering questions for an incel like “What have you been up to lately?” or “What do you do for fun on the weekends?”

Leaving the house might seem like a good proposition at first, but there are blackpills everywhere. I used to go for evening jogs in the neighborhood by my apartment, but I have been stopped by the police multiple times, and got bullied by some teenage foids who I encountered on my route. The outside spaces are their territory, and you are not welcome there.

I walked to the park early in the morning to shoot some hoops. I was in my mid teens then. A group of teenage females said, "why is he alone." Literally nothing goes well when you go outside and you are ugly. I remember when I use to take daily walks because It would help with my anxiety. Nope, it made it worse because of how much humans hate ugly people. Normies will say it's all in you're head, but that's cope. When People see an attractive person tons of people stare in admiration. When you're ugly it's the reverse everybody smirks, laughs, and gives you looks of disgust.

Also those questions are pure cancer. I'm ugly to where when I say nothing they instantly think introverted, shy, sweetheart, nice guy loser that needs to be confident and they give me a look of pity.

 

[misanthropekun]

escapism is the only thing that makes life bearable,
what's the point of "man up and accept reality" is all you get is pain and anger?
I would rather lose myself in the fictional world if it was possible.

Isn't normalfag life the evil form of escapism really? They breed without ever thinking about the gambling yet they claim loners are selfish when they never play with other people's fates of bow to it's evil machinations

 

[starystulejarz]

Bro you literally describe me 99%. I tried getting back into society but i can tell you there is nothing out there for ugly low status anxious men.
I missed all my teenage years into my 20s playing vidya games. When i tried partying and stuff later i realized it made me even more lonely as an ugly shy man. So many people out there with gfs etc, hot girls everywhere. But i would go home alone every single night. In the nightclub scene people are hostile, and you get eaten alive. There is no sympathy for low status males in the world, remember society can sacrifice millions of them if needed without blinking an eye.

Now i've retreated back and im just waiting to rope. I used to have hope but nothing matters to me now, i don't care about anythign because the illusion that things would get better is gone.

I know this feeling, brain tells you to go out since you are lonely, want to find friends and get laid and have fun for the first time in a long time but then you see happy couples holding hands, hugging and kissing you immediately turn 180 and want to go back to your room as soon as possible since this sight makes you even more depressed, anxious and frustrated it's a vicious circle of incel's "life" in 21st century. Yeah my room is depressing copes are more boring and pointless than ever but it's still better than pain you have to go through by walking across real world full of mogging.

 

[RichCel]

I am in my 50s and I'm coping with vidya harder than ever.

 

[starystulejarz]

Isn't normalfag life the evil form of escapism really? They breed without ever thinking about the gambling yet they claim loners are selfish when they never play with other people's fates of bow to it's evil machinations

Ofc they are, 99% of normies are living on autopilot mode, they would never breed if they wouldn't get pleasure from sex and drive to replicate. We are nothing but biological machines to replicate unlimited times till we populate whole galaxy like Tyranids from wh40k. Normies = parasites without inner monologue in their heads, they never question reality they are passive consumers who accept anything that (((society))) have accepted.

 

[BodyFat10orRope]

For nearly a decade, that's what I've done, that's how I've coped. But it just doesn't work for me anymore. Lately I've been feeling an unfamiliar sense of ambition, I can't just sit in my room rotting anymore, I have to get out of here. I've been idly watching time pass for long enough, telling myself that I'll fix my life later, and now I'm halfway through my 20s.

I did the same thing. Only got interested in things in early 20s. Where the fuck was that interest and ambition in highschool when I needed it? People who have shit figured out in high school are fucking lucky. I think I might have been depressed back then.

 

[iblamemyself]

Omg THIS, SO MUCH THIS!!! Get the reddit stuff out of here.

I would if I could,but I'm not a mod. Knajjd would need to ban you and send you back to reddit.

 

[Deleted member 21504]

I would if I could,but I'm not a mod. Knajjd would need to ban you and send you back to reddit.

Yeah, yeah.

 

[wide_eyed_optimism_]

Actually when you hit your thirties you'll suprise yourself at what you are actually capable of achieving. Note most software developers, mangaka, directors, hit their prime at 30-40. The ones who make your favorite videogames are mostly in that age group. It's time to stop consuming, time to start creating.

yes and all for chad's leftovers who wouldn't even look at them if it wasnt for their beta bucks jfl

 

[Deleted member 21514]

i think when u hit 20 something games stop being a good cope. I'm 20 rn and i don't like them as i used to idk why i just don't get the same passion when i'm playing them and i don't finish most of my games anymore

 

[zangano1]

I don't even like games anymore but I don't have much else to do

 

[muharremabi]

Same but there was no other thing I could cope. What are the chances of a poor and ugly man in this life? Sacrifice your life for a worthless wage? What else to do? It's beyond over for me and I don't know what to do.

 

[ovrload]

I don't even like games anymore but I don't have much else to do

modern gaming is feminised propaganda. muh strong female protagonist