Well, that's it. I usually never self-diagnose psychological/physical illness on myself but I really don't see what else that could be...
For the past 3 months or so, I've had this huge pain growing more and more inside of me. A very different kind of pain, something I've never lived in my life ever before...it's both in my mind but also in my bind; this huge sadness, rage, hatred but also disgust for life in general.
Since I have a job, every morning I wake up, get to work and manage to put on a facade but oh boy..it's still there.
I have tried everything to ease it, tone it down: avoid this site completely, go to events (society disgusts me so much I usually end going back home alone and more lifeless), dive fully back into my hobbies, physical activities....But these are only short term copes, the pain ease straight back in after the activity...
It's just like fapping to porn when you want to experience real intimacy with someone...
Just won't work...
I was trying to straight up ignore it thes epast days, lying to myself and telling me that it was nothing...
Well no. This morning, for the first time I barely could get out of my bed, the mind wasnt down on that..
I mean, why even? For fuck sake...FFs, if it was just inceldom, I could've coped but it's the whole state of modern society in general, I just can't connect with people, can't accept it. I was born in the wrong time, wrong country...
My biggest problem with the Black Pill is that no matter how many times I tried to deny it, my experience IRL proved it to be more than true...I don't even look at the statistics anymore, its all in your face ffs...
Anyone who got through a really dark phase for a long time here? Did you get out of it?
For the past 3 months or so, I've had this huge pain growing more and more inside of me. A very different kind of pain, something I've never lived in my life ever before...it's both in my mind but also in my bind; this huge sadness, rage, hatred but also disgust for life in general.
Since I have a job, every morning I wake up, get to work and manage to put on a facade but oh boy..it's still there.
I have tried everything to ease it, tone it down: avoid this site completely, go to events (society disgusts me so much I usually end going back home alone and more lifeless), dive fully back into my hobbies, physical activities....But these are only short term copes, the pain ease straight back in after the activity...
It's just like fapping to porn when you want to experience real intimacy with someone...
Just won't work...
I was trying to straight up ignore it thes epast days, lying to myself and telling me that it was nothing...
Well no. This morning, for the first time I barely could get out of my bed, the mind wasnt down on that..
I mean, why even? For fuck sake...FFs, if it was just inceldom, I could've coped but it's the whole state of modern society in general, I just can't connect with people, can't accept it. I was born in the wrong time, wrong country...
My biggest problem with the Black Pill is that no matter how many times I tried to deny it, my experience IRL proved it to be more than true...I don't even look at the statistics anymore, its all in your face ffs...
Anyone who got through a really dark phase for a long time here? Did you get out of it?
