So I stayed on for one more year at HS. Went to college for 2 years from 17-19, got a diploma, then did one year of university from 20-21. I dropped out one year short and never completed my university. I knew it was all over for me back in 98/99.
I went from a highly motivated student in 1995-6 to basically a lost cause by 1999.
Sure I looked painfully young at 21 (mistaken for no more than 16 by foids young and old, by other guys too) and had a "second puberty" from 22-25 (filled out from 136lbs to 157lbs without touching weights, jaw got wider, grew 1.2 inches in height) but I still didn't reach the looks threshold of a 5/10 slim white female to ascend and socially develop. I dabbled with online dating and chatrooms from 23-30 but didin't get anywhere. It was during this phase I got complacent about my career. I just didn't care and was happy with low status work like warehouse, shelf stacking etc, even a period spent being NEET and too ill to work with depression. I can only think the motivation to be "good" and betabux was sucked out of me and the realization of having beta-omega genetics was the cause of all my problems. "looksmaxing" at age 27 didn't help either. Going from 157lbs 15% bodyfat to 167lbs 14% bodyfat in 4 months, along with a new wardrobe, haircuts etc didn't bring any changes.
One thing I noticed, thanks to my younger sister and her friends who did 3 years of university and got her degree, was that people make friends for life during this phase of latter education. They meet up with people they went to uni with at 25/30+ (if they are still single or not) and this gives them a social network to meet single women/guys etc. Because I was horribly shunned and bullied during my college and uni years due to my looks, I never had a chance to form social networks. It was the internet or nothing for me, as cold approaches have been futile and even risking danger.
My thirties flew by. Here I am at 41, 42 in october, winding down, tired, suicidal. I only work three nights per week 9pm > 6am wrapping pallettes in a warehouse and have some government assistance due to low income, I'm the little man being erased.
I went from a highly motivated student in 1995-6 to basically a lost cause by 1999.
Sure I looked painfully young at 21 (mistaken for no more than 16 by foids young and old, by other guys too) and had a "second puberty" from 22-25 (filled out from 136lbs to 157lbs without touching weights, jaw got wider, grew 1.2 inches in height) but I still didn't reach the looks threshold of a 5/10 slim white female to ascend and socially develop. I dabbled with online dating and chatrooms from 23-30 but didin't get anywhere. It was during this phase I got complacent about my career. I just didn't care and was happy with low status work like warehouse, shelf stacking etc, even a period spent being NEET and too ill to work with depression. I can only think the motivation to be "good" and betabux was sucked out of me and the realization of having beta-omega genetics was the cause of all my problems. "looksmaxing" at age 27 didn't help either. Going from 157lbs 15% bodyfat to 167lbs 14% bodyfat in 4 months, along with a new wardrobe, haircuts etc didn't bring any changes.
One thing I noticed, thanks to my younger sister and her friends who did 3 years of university and got her degree, was that people make friends for life during this phase of latter education. They meet up with people they went to uni with at 25/30+ (if they are still single or not) and this gives them a social network to meet single women/guys etc. Because I was horribly shunned and bullied during my college and uni years due to my looks, I never had a chance to form social networks. It was the internet or nothing for me, as cold approaches have been futile and even risking danger.
My thirties flew by. Here I am at 41, 42 in october, winding down, tired, suicidal. I only work three nights per week 9pm > 6am wrapping pallettes in a warehouse and have some government assistance due to low income, I'm the little man being erased.
