Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
I did it so many times back in my alcoholic days. I even dropped out and switched degrees so the number of people that saw me in that state is very high.
Shit, now basically anyone I ever knew, even people who didn't witness it first hand, pretty much know.
Tbh what I'm really anxious about now is if I for example get a job eventually, surrounded by new people. And some day somebody that used to know me or at least heard about me/remembers my name or face, they tell somebody in this new place. So now everybody in my current environment knows of my past humiliations and shame as well. Tbh I'm so scared and anxious to even walk down the street, scared of encountering someone that knows of me.
It's been years now since that happened and I haven't had a drink since, but I still have daily flashbacks and repressed memories of the humiliation and cringe. And these aren't even the worst parts, there's worse stuff but I won't doxx myself too much by revealing it.
So I wonder, if you had done this, if everybody from university, and through word of mouth even everybody from your highschool, and your relatives (although me and my family aren't on speaking terms with any one them for different reasons), basically if anyone you ever knew has heard about your humiliations, would you be able to get over it?
Shit, now basically anyone I ever knew, even people who didn't witness it first hand, pretty much know.
Tbh what I'm really anxious about now is if I for example get a job eventually, surrounded by new people. And some day somebody that used to know me or at least heard about me/remembers my name or face, they tell somebody in this new place. So now everybody in my current environment knows of my past humiliations and shame as well. Tbh I'm so scared and anxious to even walk down the street, scared of encountering someone that knows of me.
It's been years now since that happened and I haven't had a drink since, but I still have daily flashbacks and repressed memories of the humiliation and cringe. And these aren't even the worst parts, there's worse stuff but I won't doxx myself too much by revealing it.
So I wonder, if you had done this, if everybody from university, and through word of mouth even everybody from your highschool, and your relatives (although me and my family aren't on speaking terms with any one them for different reasons), basically if anyone you ever knew has heard about your humiliations, would you be able to get over it?
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