Kincels
Future Leader
-
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2019
- Posts
- 147
I feel like I could write a book on everything I experienced and felt but I'll try to keep it short.
ME
Im 20 years old, black, quite tall and even a healthy weight but looks wise I'm 3 or 4/10 at best,I don't even get the benefits that a lot of black people get socially because my ethnicity is from east africa. Even girls who like black guys have an exception that rules out east african black guys like somalis, ethiopians etc. I live & grew up in London, England.
WHY I DECIDED TO GO
I decided I'm in my prime I shouldn't be inside everyday and even felt a bit bluepilled, I really wanted to try and be like normies on weekends, so I have memories to look back on and all that. The last time I went drinking or clubbing was over a year ago.
As soon as I leave I already felt on edge, usually when I leave home it's to go to the shops, work or something specific but to go out alone felt weird and I felt lost. I still tried to be positive and kept repeating to myself that "this will be good for me, this will be good for me" I knew which club I was going to go to since this was a big deal to me, I googled the hell out of "best clubs in london" and all that.
ENTERING CLUB
Before I approached the club I drank two cans of gin&tonic to calm nerves, also I know clubs have super expensive drink prices, as I get to the front I'm told it's £10 to enter, fair enough, I pull out the cash and the fat security lady asks me "are you with these guys?" referring to some random people also going in, I reply "no" and she straight up tells me "you can't come in here alone!" THAT crushes me instantly, like forget anything else, that could've been enough for me to say fuck this world and go back home. She was not apologetic or sympathetic at all, and I bet she only puts that rule into force when ugly guys want to enter.
This wasn't some 50-50 girls boys rule which I could understand, no, it was a rule specifically against people who want to enter the club alone, like what the fuck!? It's also super embarrassing as I was self conscious as fuck about going alone in the first place, I actually couldn't believe how cruel the world is to loners and people trying to get out of social anxiety. I leave and almost run around the corner, I'm looking at all the normies, out, laughing and I start to feel like the only person who came out of their house alone, everyone else has friends.
NOT GIVING UP
I decide not to give up since I'm already outside and so in the middle of the street, I got on my phone and bought tickets to the club online like most other people in the line did, I thought if I already have the ticket they can't refuse entry. So in the middle of the street in the rain and cold I start putting in my card details to pay for a ticket online which was £11 because of a booking fee. I go back around and try to enter again. This time I ask a guy infront of me if he's ok with me saying I'm with him, he doesn't really acknowledge what I'm saying but either way I thought this time I'll say my friends are already inside. To my surprise the ticket I bought, which is non-refundable was for the wrong date, next week friday, wow. Either way, I walk super close to the guys infront of me, get searched, ended up paying the 10 in cash and got in.
IN DA' CLUB
I walk in and it's a worst case scenario because it's pretty much empty since I came at 9 or 10pm which is early, I sit down trying not to look weird and after what the security lady said, I really felt it. It eventually started to become more full up and I got up to join the dance floor, it was a young crowd, all 18-26 with a handful of middle age guys. It started off tense yet manageable but then I started to see the guys around me attracting foids. It pissed me off everytime I saw someone approach and start dancing with a girl, I saw multiple guys french kissing girls and dirty dancing with girls, the whole time I was just progressively becoming more angry. I will always remember myself in that dance room, super focused on guys and girls interactions and feeling mentally sober even though on the outside I was trying to act normal, happy, forcing dance movement like everyone else.
REJECTION
At some point I decide to go for it, I see a girl who's probably a 5/10 and had glasses on, I approach her and it's going to sound like I'm making it up but her foid friend puts her hand directly onto my face and pushes my head like I was some rat. For the first few seconds I couldn't believe it, nothing like that had ever happened to me before, she pushed my face. If I put in text what I imagined doing to that bitch for that in the moment, I'd probably get a police visit tomorrow. I was not touchy or aggressive, all I did was try to approach a girl like everyone around me was doing. AGHHH!
For context mpst of the guys in this club directly put their hands onto girls waists and start dancing with them, or get brushed off lightly. Here I was, trying to put myself out there and I get the most inhumane rejection. There was even this chadlite who grabbed a girl straight from behind, she walked out of it then looked back at him and visibly had "he's hot" on her face while gesturing at her friend and pointing at him. Later on, those two were dancing and kissing. I saw one black chad guy kissing a girl and I'm like "ok, maybe they're a couple" then I see him kissing 2 other different foids in that same night, like what the hell. I'm more angry at the foids for it than I am the men.
There's another piece of trash foid in a group who I approach, she instantly taps the shoulder of a guy in her group, that guy then grabs her, pulls her away and starts dancing with her. She and her other 2 foid friends literally made a pact with this soy beta male to ward off guys advances.
At that point I internally gave up, everything was going on around me yet I didn't feel like I was a part of it, everywhere I looked reminded me of what I AM NOT, and CANNOT ever be. There are multiple foids who I found attractive and I would see them being kissed and danced with, it was tormenting me, I was out of place. At one point, I was staring directly at an asian foid who was 3/10 I thought I could get french kissing a guy way above her looks match, the whole experience was like when you die in a call of duty game and now you're free view spectating the match wanting to rejoin but you can't.
nearing the end...
I left the club at 3am when it closed, stood outside for a few minutes watching everyone socializing and being happy. Guys with the girls they secured that night and just general people in a good mood. I got on my bus on the peak of anger, then I saw something quite interesting. A pretty foid on a phone call crying her eyes out, from what I could hear she was crying over someone leaving/cheating on her, there was even a white knight who went over and sat next to her asking if she's ok, she told him "I want to be alone" and he left. I loved listening to her crying while it lasted, it gave me a small sense of redemption and was the only good thing that happened that night.
If she had to deal with what I deal with on a daily basis, she would've killed herself a long time ago, at least there's another man out there who will care for her and love her in a moments notice. Before tonight I would've never felt like that, the funny thing is the only other post I've made on this site was about me feeling sympathy for a foid being abused outside.
In conclusion
I approached 3 girls that night and got rejected everytime to a different extent within seconds, I wasted money on entry fee, the cheapest drinks inside, a fucking beer costs £6.50 (almost 10 us dollars) and I bought two of those. I bought a ticket for the wrong date accidentally while trying to avoid the club's evil "no loners" rule which is non-refundable. What did I get? My view on females and me ever coming out of inceldom is now 10x more negative than it ever was before this time from raw experience, I really know now that there is no fun, happy ending, hero story.
People on inceltears and other normies always tell us to get outside, stop wasting our lives on forms and we will change. Well I did it, and now I'm in my angriest state ever over dating society, the way people treat me and more, the foid friend pushing me like that is gonna stay with me forever. This is all through real raw experience not from reading negative threads or other online content, this is ME TRYING. I watched Joker last week and nothing sounds more appealing than shooting Murray in the head on live tv, and instigating riots. I'm not going to let it be the end of me, it's not my fault I'm this way, but it is society's fault for treating me the way they do.
ME
Im 20 years old, black, quite tall and even a healthy weight but looks wise I'm 3 or 4/10 at best,I don't even get the benefits that a lot of black people get socially because my ethnicity is from east africa. Even girls who like black guys have an exception that rules out east african black guys like somalis, ethiopians etc. I live & grew up in London, England.
WHY I DECIDED TO GO
I decided I'm in my prime I shouldn't be inside everyday and even felt a bit bluepilled, I really wanted to try and be like normies on weekends, so I have memories to look back on and all that. The last time I went drinking or clubbing was over a year ago.
As soon as I leave I already felt on edge, usually when I leave home it's to go to the shops, work or something specific but to go out alone felt weird and I felt lost. I still tried to be positive and kept repeating to myself that "this will be good for me, this will be good for me" I knew which club I was going to go to since this was a big deal to me, I googled the hell out of "best clubs in london" and all that.
ENTERING CLUB
Before I approached the club I drank two cans of gin&tonic to calm nerves, also I know clubs have super expensive drink prices, as I get to the front I'm told it's £10 to enter, fair enough, I pull out the cash and the fat security lady asks me "are you with these guys?" referring to some random people also going in, I reply "no" and she straight up tells me "you can't come in here alone!" THAT crushes me instantly, like forget anything else, that could've been enough for me to say fuck this world and go back home. She was not apologetic or sympathetic at all, and I bet she only puts that rule into force when ugly guys want to enter.
This wasn't some 50-50 girls boys rule which I could understand, no, it was a rule specifically against people who want to enter the club alone, like what the fuck!? It's also super embarrassing as I was self conscious as fuck about going alone in the first place, I actually couldn't believe how cruel the world is to loners and people trying to get out of social anxiety. I leave and almost run around the corner, I'm looking at all the normies, out, laughing and I start to feel like the only person who came out of their house alone, everyone else has friends.
NOT GIVING UP
I decide not to give up since I'm already outside and so in the middle of the street, I got on my phone and bought tickets to the club online like most other people in the line did, I thought if I already have the ticket they can't refuse entry. So in the middle of the street in the rain and cold I start putting in my card details to pay for a ticket online which was £11 because of a booking fee. I go back around and try to enter again. This time I ask a guy infront of me if he's ok with me saying I'm with him, he doesn't really acknowledge what I'm saying but either way I thought this time I'll say my friends are already inside. To my surprise the ticket I bought, which is non-refundable was for the wrong date, next week friday, wow. Either way, I walk super close to the guys infront of me, get searched, ended up paying the 10 in cash and got in.
IN DA' CLUB
I walk in and it's a worst case scenario because it's pretty much empty since I came at 9 or 10pm which is early, I sit down trying not to look weird and after what the security lady said, I really felt it. It eventually started to become more full up and I got up to join the dance floor, it was a young crowd, all 18-26 with a handful of middle age guys. It started off tense yet manageable but then I started to see the guys around me attracting foids. It pissed me off everytime I saw someone approach and start dancing with a girl, I saw multiple guys french kissing girls and dirty dancing with girls, the whole time I was just progressively becoming more angry. I will always remember myself in that dance room, super focused on guys and girls interactions and feeling mentally sober even though on the outside I was trying to act normal, happy, forcing dance movement like everyone else.
REJECTION
At some point I decide to go for it, I see a girl who's probably a 5/10 and had glasses on, I approach her and it's going to sound like I'm making it up but her foid friend puts her hand directly onto my face and pushes my head like I was some rat. For the first few seconds I couldn't believe it, nothing like that had ever happened to me before, she pushed my face. If I put in text what I imagined doing to that bitch for that in the moment, I'd probably get a police visit tomorrow. I was not touchy or aggressive, all I did was try to approach a girl like everyone around me was doing. AGHHH!
For context mpst of the guys in this club directly put their hands onto girls waists and start dancing with them, or get brushed off lightly. Here I was, trying to put myself out there and I get the most inhumane rejection. There was even this chadlite who grabbed a girl straight from behind, she walked out of it then looked back at him and visibly had "he's hot" on her face while gesturing at her friend and pointing at him. Later on, those two were dancing and kissing. I saw one black chad guy kissing a girl and I'm like "ok, maybe they're a couple" then I see him kissing 2 other different foids in that same night, like what the hell. I'm more angry at the foids for it than I am the men.
There's another piece of trash foid in a group who I approach, she instantly taps the shoulder of a guy in her group, that guy then grabs her, pulls her away and starts dancing with her. She and her other 2 foid friends literally made a pact with this soy beta male to ward off guys advances.
At that point I internally gave up, everything was going on around me yet I didn't feel like I was a part of it, everywhere I looked reminded me of what I AM NOT, and CANNOT ever be. There are multiple foids who I found attractive and I would see them being kissed and danced with, it was tormenting me, I was out of place. At one point, I was staring directly at an asian foid who was 3/10 I thought I could get french kissing a guy way above her looks match, the whole experience was like when you die in a call of duty game and now you're free view spectating the match wanting to rejoin but you can't.
nearing the end...
I left the club at 3am when it closed, stood outside for a few minutes watching everyone socializing and being happy. Guys with the girls they secured that night and just general people in a good mood. I got on my bus on the peak of anger, then I saw something quite interesting. A pretty foid on a phone call crying her eyes out, from what I could hear she was crying over someone leaving/cheating on her, there was even a white knight who went over and sat next to her asking if she's ok, she told him "I want to be alone" and he left. I loved listening to her crying while it lasted, it gave me a small sense of redemption and was the only good thing that happened that night.
If she had to deal with what I deal with on a daily basis, she would've killed herself a long time ago, at least there's another man out there who will care for her and love her in a moments notice. Before tonight I would've never felt like that, the funny thing is the only other post I've made on this site was about me feeling sympathy for a foid being abused outside.
In conclusion
I approached 3 girls that night and got rejected everytime to a different extent within seconds, I wasted money on entry fee, the cheapest drinks inside, a fucking beer costs £6.50 (almost 10 us dollars) and I bought two of those. I bought a ticket for the wrong date accidentally while trying to avoid the club's evil "no loners" rule which is non-refundable. What did I get? My view on females and me ever coming out of inceldom is now 10x more negative than it ever was before this time from raw experience, I really know now that there is no fun, happy ending, hero story.
People on inceltears and other normies always tell us to get outside, stop wasting our lives on forms and we will change. Well I did it, and now I'm in my angriest state ever over dating society, the way people treat me and more, the foid friend pushing me like that is gonna stay with me forever. This is all through real raw experience not from reading negative threads or other online content, this is ME TRYING. I watched Joker last week and nothing sounds more appealing than shooting Murray in the head on live tv, and instigating riots. I'm not going to let it be the end of me, it's not my fault I'm this way, but it is society's fault for treating me the way they do.