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SuicideFuel I was normie tier 1 year ago now im fucking truecel, READ THE WHOLE THING

I understand. :(

Have you tried hopping on PCT? Maybe, it can help your balls produce some T again.
tried pct it didnt work. I need clomid and HCG to force start again but i wont be able to do tihngs correctly without a doctor
 
tried pct it didnt work. I need clomid and HCG to force start again but i wont be able to do tihngs correctly without a doctor
I used Tamoxifen after my cycle to kickstart my balls. I fucked my cycle up, and lost all my gains and even supressed myself. :)
 
I wish I never fell for those stupid blue pill and red pill rhetorics at least I could have lived a normie. I fell so fucking hard now I’m a fucking truecel and there’s no way I could go back to how it was.
You have decent height, bonemass, frame and muscle bellies.
There is surely a drug or surgical procedure that can repair your facial skin skin some extent.

Do you think she would have gave in if I pursued her more? Also her bf is long distance they are still toegther
Yes. If you had read Game by Roosh you could have easily fucked her.
The problem is the realization of her whorishness would still happen even if you were dating.
Actually dating your first oneitis and then getting dumped is serious suifuel.
 
You have decent height, bonemass, frame and muscle bellies.
There is surely a drug or surgical procedure that can repair your facial skin skin some extent.


Yes. If you had read Game by Roosh you could have easily fucked her.
The problem is the realization of her whorishness would still happen even if you were dating.
Actually dating your first oneitis and then getting dumped is serious suifuel.

You have decent height, bonemass, frame and muscle bellies.
There is surely a drug or surgical procedure that can repair your facial skin skin some extent.


Yes. If you had read Game by Roosh you could have easily fucked her.
The problem is the realization of her whorishness would still happen even if you were dating.
Actually dating your first oneitis and then getting dumped is serious suifuel.
I dig old school RSD Julien and his 'PIMP' dating product plus his old videos (now long removed).

But yeah, I have largely the same opinion. If the OP had fucked ANY other foid he'd had enough experience to get the oneitis foid he wanted (still wants?)
 
I dig old school RSD Julien and his 'PIMP' dating product plus his old videos (now long removed).

But yeah, I have largely the same opinion. If the OP had fucked ANY other foid he'd had enough experience to get the oneitis foid he wanted (still wants?)
yeah im still very much in love with her even asfter 2 years, but no matter how much "game" I learn im not goin gto be able to get her I look way too bad, im not even presentable at this point im pretty much disfigurd by the acne
 
ovER for oneitiscels :feelsrope: imagine caring about a girl who lied to you :feelskek:
 
yeah im still very much in love with her even asfter 2 years, but no matter how much "game" I learn im not goin gto be able to get her I look way too bad, im not even presentable at this point im pretty much disfigurd by the acne
Why not just ask her out like I suggested (or different) and get it her have sex with or reject you?

As you said the chronic acne is real, you'll have it next few months for sure and even if it's gone you'll have some scars

What if she fucking marries as time goes by?
 
Why not just ask her out like I suggested (or different) and get it her have sex with or reject you?

As you said the chronic acne is real, you'll have it next few months for sure and even if it's gone you'll have some scars

What if she fucking marries as time goes by?
I plan on trying again, Im going to tell her that I cant move on, but before I carry out that plan I have to get rid of my acne first. The accutane im on is suppose to clear up my skin within 8 months, im going to do lasers to get rid of acne scars on my face. Problem is she's still dating the long distance bf she have.
 
not a single letter. I was never normie
 
I plan on trying again, Im going to tell her that I cant move on, but before I carry out that plan I have to get rid of my acne first. The accutane im on is suppose to clear up my skin within 8 months, im going to do lasers to get rid of acne scars on my face. Problem is she's still dating the long distance bf she have.
Seems like a lot of work / long wait and success is likely below 50% even if you try

Why do you like this specific foid so much? Are there no hotter foids than her?
 
Seems like a lot of work / long wait and success is likely below 50% even if you try

Why do you like this specific foid so much? Are there no hotter foids than her?
shes 5/10 when I liked her, now shes 6/10 theres hotter girls everywhere than her but idk. The reason I care about her so much is because I felt a connection when I first met her. I literally fell in love the first SECOND I saw her and she was wearing a mask, when she took it off I was a bit dissapointed but her flaws only made me like her more because it was unique, and all the self improvements I did literally changed the course of my life, shes just really infleuncial in my life I dont feel like I can move on without getting her.
 
shes 5/10 when I liked her, now shes 6/10 theres hotter girls everywhere than her but idk. The reason I care about her so much is because I felt a connection when I first met her. I literally fell in love the first SECOND I saw her and she was wearing a mask, when she took it off I was a bit dissapointed but her flaws only made me like her more because it was unique, and all the self improvements I did literally changed the course of my life, shes just really infleuncial in my life I dont feel like I can move on without getting her.
theres not a day or moment where I dont think about her since the day I met her, its pain but it feels good at the same time... even just dreaming about her in my sleep is enough to make me happy for a moment
 
shes 5/10 when I liked her, now shes 6/10 theres hotter girls everywhere than her but idk. The reason I care about her so much is because I felt a connection when I first met her. I literally fell in love the first SECOND I saw her and she was wearing a mask, when she took it off I was a bit dissapointed but her flaws only made me like her more because it was unique, and all the self improvements I did literally changed the course of my life, shes just really infleuncial in my life I dont feel like I can move on without getting her.
If she's 5 to 6 legit you can simply hit her up whatever years later when you're ready and still get the lay

But imo try getting some other foid as your first lay
 
If she's 5 to 6 legit you can simply hit her up whatever years later when you're ready and still get the lay

But imo try getting some other foid as your first lay
I just need to attempt looksmaxxing again but without overdoing it this time... when Im ready Im going to try again and hopefully ascend
 
Can I ask what's going on with the T4? Why are you tapering off it?
Abusing thyroid hormones is also common among bodybuilders to lose weight. Unfortunately mine got destroyed randomly without abuse (probably from shit dieting), but since it has no autoimmune component, I’m trying to taper it down so my body adapts slowly and goes back to normal levels.
 
The only way out is through!

You must switch from synthetic roids to natural ones.

Meaning you have to get a job hunting wild boars (pigs) and eat their balls! (Freeze dry them for later use)

Other animals will do. But boars balls are the best!

Look it up! Best in you live in the American south, but Europe has them too...

Big buxx as a guide for it... A great career.. That way you can lower you're need for external androgens in a a holistic way.
 
Op I was about to use steroids...

Until I read your post...

Fuck steroids...
 
So many guys use roids.

1 in 3 regular gym attendants admit to using steroids, and a similar figure for long-term online daters.

That is a lot of men and the competition was already stacked, now I have to be super-physiological to compete with fucking normies.
 
Op I was about to use steroids...

Until I read your post...

Fuck steroids...
not worth it, easy to fuck up. And there can be 0 mistake, if you fuck up once you fuck up big time
 
So many guys use roids.

1 in 3 regular gym attendants admit to using steroids, and a similar figure for long-term online daters.

That is a lot of men and the competition was already stacked, now I have to be super-physiological to compete with fucking normies.
lots of people use steroid and still look shit
 
This is why bluepilling boys is dangerous, redpill maybe even more, they will put their lives on the line believing women are angels, they are not they are all filthy whores.

While you spent years improving for her, she was living and having fun with guys who don't lift a finger.

It's your own fault for fixing your mind on one girl, but I don't blame you, I blame the bluepill media and redpill scammers who sell false hope.

Having to take medical testosterone probably sucks hard, but if you have the bones rest can be fixed.
This this this this this I’m glad the deen saved me from trying to confess to and do dumb simp crap for girls in the past ALHAMDULILLAH
 
I had became confident and confessed to my oneitis on snapchat :feelskek::feelskek::feelskek: I wrote her 3 paragraphs of words describing my journey of self improving for her
:fuk:
Fuck that universe and normie world
 
:fuk:
Fuck that universe and normie world
ovER for me, overdid the self improvement now my face is pretty much disfigured after acne. Im still trying to looksmaxx through getting laser done to remove those scar though. I want a come back, for the lasts time and last try...
 
ovER for me, overdid the self improvement now my face is pretty much disfigured after acne. Im still trying to looksmaxx through getting laser done to remove those scar though. I want a come back, for the lasts time and last try...
Hopefully something will work out of it. I got two things I will work on. If they don't work then it's over for me
 
I

hope we both make it :feelsrope:
Yeah I always dream about having 500 000 euro in bank account and doing nothing till the end of my days and having BBQ everyday
 
hey at least he isn't in a dead bedroom marriage with a wife who hates him and makes his life a living hell whilst she fucks everyone around the block and leaves him with two kids from some random guy that he actually believes are his kids.
This.

There are fates worse than inceldom.
 
It's over for yiu. Steroids are shit
 
I am my own cause of suffering.. I was never this truecel 1 year ago. I was a normal looking dude who was just very skinny, I let my insecurity take over me and I did alot of stuff that I regret. At the time I fell in love with my oneitis but It was onesided, she didn't even know I existed, I was a etremely shy due to social anxiety but I was very red pilled at that time due to influences similar to Andrew Tate, I wanted to believe that hard work was all I needed. My stupid self came up with the "master plan" I told myself "if you are shy then all you have to do is become gigachad so she will come to you :soy:" I was VERY VERY convinced that I was going to become a gigachad :feelskek: and I immediately started gymmaxxing, because I had no life I spent all my freetime (anytime Im not in school) on researching things about how to grow muscle and learned about different ANABOLIC STEROIDS and how to use them.

by the time I had been gymmaxxing for half a year and saw some solid progress I was EVEN MORE convinced that I was going to become a gigachad, I couldn't wait I was too excited so I said fuck it im going to steroidmaxx now! I bought testosterone enanthate and LGD4033 for my first steroid cycle, I did 500mg test and 10mg lgd for 12 weeks. BY the end of my cycle I had gotten from 130lbs - 160lbs with minimal fat gain, I was still lean and cut as I was when I weighed 90lbs. I dreamed of being with my oneitis everyday I told myself I was going to get her THAT YEAR, after I had seen the magic of steroids I wanted more, and I wanted better faster and become STRONGER. I had became confident and confessed to my oneitis on snapchat :feelskek::feelskek::feelskek: I wrote her 3 paragraphs of words describing my journey of self improving for her ( I was stupid and I believed women wanted hard working men) and at the end of the paragraph I wrote down my phone number and told her if she reciprocated the feeling then text me but if she didn't then just block me so I'd know. I waited 30 minutes and got a text message, without even looking I already knew it was her, she's the only person who have my number I was so fucking excited I couldn't bear looking at the good news I decided to look at it in the morning. That night I slept like a baby I said in my head I have finally gotten my dream girl after self improvement and that was my happiest moment EVER words cannot describe my happiness, I had already started planning date ideas, and things I'd do with her, I wrote them all into a paper to remember them and I even ordered some stuff online to gift to her. The following morning.... I went from the happiest boy to suicidal in second.

This is the exact chat messages exchanged between us
"Hey it's (XXX)"
"Hey! Was losing hope for a sec there, sorry for the late response I had to sleep early yesterday, how are you this summer?"

"hey so i obviously saw ur snap and i rly admire u for telling me cuz that’s something i wish i could do. my summers been good but i think u need to know that i’m still sorta seeing someone and it’s kinda complicated but i hope we can still be friends and i will make sure to let u know if i end things with the other guy. "

"Damn, I knew I was late... I mean afterall who wouldn't want a girl like you? Well If you're happy with them Im happy, I hope u make the
best out of it with them!"


And that was the end of our conversation, despite me sounding like I didn't care too much I was crying rivers of tears texting those words, I had gone through half a roll of toilet paper. I crumpled up the date idea paper and teared them apart, I felt defeated. I couldn't believe, after all the effort I had lost It was impossible, It was wrong for it to happen but It did. I refused to believe, I REFUSE. I told myself whoever she was dating I AM GOING TO BECOME BETTER. I let the grief took over me and I completly fell in to the lowest point of my life, I was desperate to get out so I started to abuse steroids again only this time harder...
with even stronger AAS like Tren, NPP, Anadrol etc and it all started going downhill.


I lost my jawline to water retention from these drugs I took, my face was ridden with cystic acne so was my body, and I had accidentally let my estrogen get out of control and I became fat (still same amount of muscle but gained extra fat) I was getting uglier but i still believed hard work mattered more than looks, I believed if my oneitis realized I was a harder working men she will date me because I had proven that I was willing to sacrifice ANYTHING for her, EVEN MY LIFE. Fast forward to now, I no longer believed in red pill or the bs bluepill, I've given up, no one can tell me I havn't tried hard, steroid abuse destroyed me too, after years of abuse I needed to rely on synthetic testosterone for the rest of my life and for what? My oneitis is no longer the girl I know, she's no longer the innocent girl I believed she was. Despite knowing these I still held on to the word she said "I will make sure to let you know if i end things with the other guy" everytime I get a text message I pray to god it's her, but no. Everytime its either bots or advertisement. I don't even have friends, Im lonely, Im broken and im slowly dying, and I will be spending my remaining precious time rotting away, alone.

all the self improvement i did have backfired on me. I went too hard and sacrificed everything I had, just to end up losing. Now I have nothing, I've lost my looks, I've traded my health for some superficial muscle that are covered by acne, i've traded my past social life to gymmaxx full time and in the end I still lost
How did you believe you'd go from normie to gigachad by putting on muscle?

The damage done to your body is likely significant. Never place your hopes in one basket like this. It's not worth it.
 
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Aww brother, I am so so sorry that you had to go through that. I can feel the pain, I really can. :feelsbadman::cryfeels::feelscry::feelsrope:
 
I am my own cause of suffering.. I was never this truecel 1 year ago. I was a normal looking dude who was just very skinny, I let my insecurity take over me and I did alot of stuff that I regret. At the time I fell in love with my oneitis but It was onesided, she didn't even know I existed, I was a etremely shy due to social anxiety but I was very red pilled at that time due to influences similar to Andrew Tate, I wanted to believe that hard work was all I needed. My stupid self came up with the "master plan" I told myself "if you are shy then all you have to do is become gigachad so she will come to you :soy:" I was VERY VERY convinced that I was going to become a gigachad :feelskek: and I immediately started gymmaxxing, because I had no life I spent all my freetime (anytime Im not in school) on researching things about how to grow muscle and learned about different ANABOLIC STEROIDS and how to use them.

by the time I had been gymmaxxing for half a year and saw some solid progress I was EVEN MORE convinced that I was going to become a gigachad, I couldn't wait I was too excited so I said fuck it im going to steroidmaxx now! I bought testosterone enanthate and LGD4033 for my first steroid cycle, I did 500mg test and 10mg lgd for 12 weeks. BY the end of my cycle I had gotten from 130lbs - 160lbs with minimal fat gain, I was still lean and cut as I was when I weighed 90lbs. I dreamed of being with my oneitis everyday I told myself I was going to get her THAT YEAR, after I had seen the magic of steroids I wanted more, and I wanted better faster and become STRONGER. I had became confident and confessed to my oneitis on snapchat :feelskek::feelskek::feelskek: I wrote her 3 paragraphs of words describing my journey of self improving for her ( I was stupid and I believed women wanted hard working men) and at the end of the paragraph I wrote down my phone number and told her if she reciprocated the feeling then text me but if she didn't then just block me so I'd know. I waited 30 minutes and got a text message, without even looking I already knew it was her, she's the only person who have my number I was so fucking excited I couldn't bear looking at the good news I decided to look at it in the morning. That night I slept like a baby I said in my head I have finally gotten my dream girl after self improvement and that was my happiest moment EVER words cannot describe my happiness, I had already started planning date ideas, and things I'd do with her, I wrote them all into a paper to remember them and I even ordered some stuff online to gift to her. The following morning.... I went from the happiest boy to suicidal in second.

This is the exact chat messages exchanged between us
"Hey it's (XXX)"
"Hey! Was losing hope for a sec there, sorry for the late response I had to sleep early yesterday, how are you this summer?"

"hey so i obviously saw ur snap and i rly admire u for telling me cuz that’s something i wish i could do. my summers been good but i think u need to know that i’m still sorta seeing someone and it’s kinda complicated but i hope we can still be friends and i will make sure to let u know if i end things with the other guy. "

"Damn, I knew I was late... I mean afterall who wouldn't want a girl like you? Well If you're happy with them Im happy, I hope u make the
best out of it with them!"


And that was the end of our conversation, despite me sounding like I didn't care too much I was crying rivers of tears texting those words, I had gone through half a roll of toilet paper. I crumpled up the date idea paper and teared them apart, I felt defeated. I couldn't believe, after all the effort I had lost It was impossible, It was wrong for it to happen but It did. I refused to believe, I REFUSE. I told myself whoever she was dating I AM GOING TO BECOME BETTER. I let the grief took over me and I completly fell in to the lowest point of my life, I was desperate to get out so I started to abuse steroids again only this time harder...
with even stronger AAS like Tren, NPP, Anadrol etc and it all started going downhill.


I lost my jawline to water retention from these drugs I took, my face was ridden with cystic acne so was my body, and I had accidentally let my estrogen get out of control and I became fat (still same amount of muscle but gained extra fat) I was getting uglier but i still believed hard work mattered more than looks, I believed if my oneitis realized I was a harder working men she will date me because I had proven that I was willing to sacrifice ANYTHING for her, EVEN MY LIFE. Fast forward to now, I no longer believed in red pill or the bs bluepill, I've given up, no one can tell me I havn't tried hard, steroid abuse destroyed me too, after years of abuse I needed to rely on synthetic testosterone for the rest of my life and for what? My oneitis is no longer the girl I know, she's no longer the innocent girl I believed she was. Despite knowing these I still held on to the word she said "I will make sure to let you know if i end things with the other guy" everytime I get a text message I pray to god it's her, but no. Everytime its either bots or advertisement. I don't even have friends, Im lonely, Im broken and im slowly dying, and I will be spending my remaining precious time rotting away, alone.

all the self improvement i did have backfired on me. I went too hard and sacrificed everything I had, just to end up losing. Now I have nothing, I've lost my looks, I've traded my health for some superficial muscle that are covered by acne, i've traded my past social life to gymmaxx full time and in the end I still lost
tl;dr steroidmaxxing fucked you up
 
Explains why you're a horny simp.
 

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