I'm an oldercel who has tried on and off with varying levels of enthusiasm (some were 50% serious and 50% attention). But last time I tried to kill myself (6 years ago now) I had to be put on a ventilator and when I got out I had a lot of cognitive deficiencies. Apparently my brain lost oxygen enough to cause damage. I was in gifted classes in grade school and now I'm an averagecuck at best. So consider that possibility because you may just end up stupider.
The cognitive losses didn't even take away the horrible black painful crushing loneliness - just makes careermaxxing and moneymaxxing harder.