Blackpill I know I will fail.

[Sasukecel]

I'll try to keep this short and understandable. Every second of the day, I'm in psychological torture and stress, but no progress is made. I think for hours on end.

From 14, I had dreams, goals, desires, but God just fucking hates me. I wanted to be a normal teenager and make friends, God gave me a dysfunctional family and autism. I wanted to be happy, I was given suicidal thoughts and depression. I wanted to get the good physique, I was given a short height and shitty genetics. I wanted to work hard and be known as a somebody, I was given publicly humilation in front of every fucking classmate I previously had. I wanted to be a youtuber, I was given a fucking ugly face. I wanted to be educated, but I was given low IQ. I wanted to be "alt-right", I was given negro skin. I'm not even a fucking Canadian, my "parents" were immigrants from fucking Africa.

I subconsciously knew I would fail, which is why I came back to the forum. If I truly believed inceldom would be solved or I could succeed, I would be out there actually doing it, but like everything else, it's just a pipedream. I can admit that my life is over, and I'll never succeed and all of my goals will fail because the blackpill is truly brutal. I'm not delusional anymore, I'll live in reality. I don't want this to get too long so I'll explain what's next.

 

[BlackCel_from_ZA]

are you the fixitralph guy? The nigeriancel?

 

[Darth Aries]

Over for fitxfearless callers

 

[Skelly]

are you the fixitralph guy?

Over for fitxfearless callers

jfl he's forever branded

 

[Kina Hikikomori]

Exactly, we are trash.

 

[Kina Hikikomori]

You are worth what you offer; physically; slavery; genetically and so on.

 

[The Scarlet Prince]

You're being too rough on yourself. This is what I was trying to explain to you when you first came back to the forum. Ultimately, your efforts will be for naught. However, that was no fault of your own, Sasukecel. That does not mean your life holds no value. Perhaps to others in this damned world, it doesn't; but you can find value in it yourself.

Me and you had very similar experiences growing up, however, I will concede that your life has been far more brutal than mine. Yet, I saw myself when you began to describe how fictional characters began to matter to you more than anyone in reality ever did. How you wre driven and motivated by Sasuke, Eren, and all these other people who could never interact with you. And yet, they meant something to you, they had an impact on your life.

I said this once before under one of your posts, but my little sister in real life hates me. I'm incredibly short, 5'3, to be exact. Despite my desire to be that cool older brother, I never was.

Why? Was I incompetent? Unworthy? Unwilling?

Nay, I was merely too short. It was no fault of my own. My sister hates being associated to me and is actively embarrassed by my existence.

How I failed as an older brother; and my very integral and vivid cope.

I've noticed, as a 5'3 male, that a lot of people in your life will try and gaslight you and say that they don't think less of you because you're short. I still live with my family, so I get this a lot from my mother and my sister. My sister is younger than me by a significant margin. She's...

incels.is

That's why I, in my misery and loneliness, found family in the fictional. I began to imagine two particular characters as my sisters, and that is what brought me (and still does) happiness and meaning to my life.

What is it that you ultimately live for, Sasukecel? I know it's probably a tough question to answer, and you probably don't know, but I just want you to think of it. Is it that perhaps you live specifically to gain the respect and admiration of others? To break through the mold and become a typical person? What about the ordinary is appealing to you; why do you strive for it?

Sasukecel, what does your real name mean to YOU? In the view of others, it has been tarnished and mocked, but do you see any use in your name that was assigned to you at birth? Do you hold attachment to it? If not, then why do you insist on calling yourself that name within your own mind? Why hold such an attachment to a reality in which you are not wanted?

 

[MassEffectKoala]

my whole life is fail

 

[Sasukecel]

I'll try to keep this short and understandable. Every second of the day, I'm in psychological torture and stress, but no progress is made. I think for hours on end.

From 14, I had dreams, goals, desires, but God just fucking hates me. I wanted to be a normal teenager and make friends, God gave me a dysfunctional family and autism. I wanted to be happy, I was given suicidal thoughts and depression. I wanted to get the good physique, I was given a short height and shitty genetics. I wanted to work hard and be known as a somebody, I was given publicly humilation in front of every fucking classmate I previously had. I wanted to be a youtuber, I was given a fucking ugly face. I wanted to be educated, but I was given low IQ. I wanted to be "alt-right", I was given negro skin. I'm not even a fucking Canadian, my "parents" were immigrants from fucking Africa.

I subconsciously knew I would fail, which is why I came back to the forum. If I truly believed inceldom would be solved or I could succeed, I would be out there actually doing it, but like everything else, it's just a pipedream. I can admit that my life is over, and I'll never succeed and all of my goals will fail because the blackpill is truly brutal. I'm not delusional anymore, I'll live in reality. I don't want this to get too long so I'll explain what's next.

So what now? My life is worse than the people who rope or go ER so either would be rational and non-surprising choices, but my stance is this. I'm already a viral humilation based off of a livecall did in poor context, I was coerced to go on, nervous, had no idea who Fitxfearless was. If that aspect of my life is fully disclosed, then my entire life should be disclosed. If my life is over, I want to document my entire life to the public. I don't want to live a private shitty life, then die. I want the entire world to know my life is shit. I want the entire world to know my story which is why I'm "hidden in real life, but present online."

I know I'll fail, but to pass the time until my death, I'm going to document myself trying to achieve the goals I wanted to achieve until my death. That's practically my life purpose. What's the point if I'm going to fail?

To pass the time until my death. My life has no value. Rotting would give me despair. Chase what I want until I die and document all of it is what my mind wants to do.

 

[Scatius Deletus]

Just cope, nothing else we can do

 

[Sasukecel]

are you the fixitralph guy? The nigeriancel?

Over for fitxfearless callers

jfl he's forever branded

I am forever branded. The 5 minute fitxfearless call ruined the entirety of my life. My life will never be normal and that's why I'm going to hide from the public irl for the rest of my life.

 

[neckpilled]

Bro, idk what to say other than most people won’t care abt the interview

But yeah guys like fitxfearless live off of this stuff

 

[Sasukecel]

Exactly, we are trash.

By circumstance.

You are worth what you offer; physically; slavery; genetically and so on.

You're worth what you offer, what you offer is genetically dispositioned. The onlyfans model who was born hot and made millions of dollars didn't exert any effort, whilst the ugly man who exerted a lot of effort and works hard every single day gets pennies.

It's not as if I didn't try, I was born autistic, ugly, black, short, I wanted to succeed, genetics made it so i couldn't. I'm going to document myself still trying to succeed because that's my cope/experiment. I refuse to be publicly humiliated by millions to just live a private life to try to fade out of obscurity. My life was over anyways, so I'll prove the blackpill by trying to succeed as an ugly male until I die, then documenting it with full knowledge that I know I'll fail.

 

[Kina Hikikomori]

You're worth what you offer, what you offer is genetically dispositioned.

Therefore, it is no one's merit, because no one chooses.

The onlyfans model who was born hot and made millions of dollars didn't exert any effort, whilst the ugly man who exerted a lot of effort and works hard every single day gets pennies.

His body serves to be a slave to the means of production romanticized as “struggle”. The limitations of what he can offer are a barrier in his life; this ends up depending on meager circumstances, rather than flying like a chad, however, it is not.

 

[Kina Hikikomori]

It's not as if I didn't try, I was born autistic, ugly, black, short, I wanted to succeed, genetics made it so i couldn't. I'm going to document myself still trying to succeed because that's my cope/experiment. I refuse to be publicly humiliated by millions to just live a private life to try to fade out of obscurity. My life was over anyways, so I'll prove the blackpill by trying to succeed as an ugly male until I die, then documenting it with full knowledge that I know I'll fail.

Success in the usual format we are used to would be too much of an illusion, and as you are documenting that you will fail, then you should just look for your balance point, at least to stay in life until you die, without being able to sink further. . than it already can/is.

 

[Sasukecel]

You're being too rough on yourself. This is what I was trying to explain to you when you first came back to the forum. Ultimately, your efforts will be for naught. However, that was no fault of your own, Sasukecel. That does not mean your life holds no value. Perhaps to others in this damned world, it doesn't; but you can find value in it yourself.

Me and you had very similar experiences growing up, however, I will concede that your life has been far more brutal than mine. Yet, I saw myself when you began to describe how fictional characters began to matter to you more than anyone in reality ever did. How you wre driven and motivated by Sasuke, Eren, and all these other people who could never interact with you. And yet, they meant something to you, they had an impact on your life.

I said this once before under one of your posts, but my little sister in real life hates me. I'm incredibly short, 5'3, to be exact. Despite my desire to be that cool older brother, I never was.

Why? Was I incompetent? Unworthy? Unwilling?

Nay, I was merely too short. It was no fault of my own. My sister hates being associated to me and is actively embarrassed by my existence.

How I failed as an older brother; and my very integral and vivid cope.

I've noticed, as a 5'3 male, that a lot of people in your life will try and gaslight you and say that they don't think less of you because you're short. I still live with my family, so I get this a lot from my mother and my sister. My sister is younger than me by a significant margin. She's...

incels.is

That's why I, in my misery and loneliness, found family in the fictional. I began to imagine two particular characters as my sisters, and that is what brought me (and still does) happiness and meaning to my life.

What is it that you ultimately live for, Sasukecel? I know it's probably a tough question to answer, and you probably don't know, but I just want you to think of it. Is it that perhaps you live specifically to gain the respect and admiration of others? To break through the mold and become a typical person? What about the ordinary is appealing to you; why do you strive for it?

Sasukecel, what does your real name mean to YOU? In the view of others, it has been tarnished and mocked, but do you see any use in your name that was assigned to you at birth? Do you hold attachment to it? If not, then why do you insist on calling yourself that name within your own mind? Why hold such an attachment to a reality in which you are not wanted?

I don't think I'm being rough on myself because now I don't live in delusion. The world is unfair and I accept the blackpill as reality. I tried to succeed many times but couldn't because of the circumstances I've been given.

I live to die. Objectively and subjectively, my life has no meaning because I'm a public humilation and will always be a public humilation even after I die. I couldn't gain the respect of others. I can never be a normal person. I'm not trying to live a normal life because I can never live a normal life. I wish I had a normal life but circumstances made it so I couldn't. That's why there's no point in trying to live a normal life.

I'm going to try to do the things I'm going to do whilst knowing I'll fail, and document those things, whilst I'm going to try to be as anonymous as possible in public. I refuse to be humilated by millions of people then fade into obscurity, so I'm going to publicize my shitty life online, because I want the entire world to know the full story, and not the 5 minute clip. That's my life goal.

I hate my name because I wish I was white and not a nigger. If I change my name it doesn't change my shitty reality.

 

[Sasukecel]

@The Scarlet Prince I semi relate with your experience with your younger siblings. I want to disassociate with the public irl, and have no friends or family.

I wanted to prevent my little sisters from becoming whores, I wanted to be a role model for my little brother, but fuck it. It's just the way reality is. I'm going to go low contact with my entire family, then probably go no contact when I'm financially able to move out.

At this point I'm a misanthrope, I don't want family or friends, and I'll always be undercover in public.