I've noticed, as a 5'3 male, that a lot of people in your life will try and gaslight you and say that they don't think less of you because you're short. I still live with my family, so I get this a lot from my mother and my sister. My sister is younger than me by a significant margin. She's sixteen currently -- while I'm nineteen.
I often like to tease and annoy my sister a lot. I'll just be generally annoying just because I find it humorous, but I don't do anything crazy. However, whenever she feels offended or annoyed enough with me, she'll always just resort to making fun of my height and my ugly face. Mind you, she's barely taller than me, which is super emasculating and makes me feel more subhuman than I already am.
She loves to tell me about all the other guys in her high school that are tall and just look how a guy should look -- as she mocks me further telling me how sad and ridiculous I look because of my height. This happened a few minutes ago, and she and my mother just left to go do something with real estate.
Honestly, her always doing this has made me reflect a lot on what my life has been like in the past. I know some guys on this forum will think I'm pathetic for this, but I -- until recently -- have always cared for my little sister. I felt that it was my duty as a bigger brother.
I recall a few years ago, while I was still in high school, I worried for my sister walking to her bus, since the area wasn't the safest and there were random crackheads (California). So I would always walk her to her bus and drop her off safely. Same with picking her up. She was in middle school during this time, and I remember how she would always tell me about all the kids on the bus making fun of me because of how short I was.
I guess eventually she didn't even want to be seen with me, so she asked me to hide behind a tree in the distance so that I could pick her up as the bus left. I remember how shameful I felt every time I hid behind that tree and heard the bus dropping off kids and driving away, but I did it because I didn't want to embarrass my sister. If there is one thing I hate about my height, it would be how I could never be that cooler bigger brother. I hate how I couldn't give my sister the experience of having that cool older brother that picks her up. All because of this damned height of mine.
And now here we are. 3 years later and she still makes fun of me for my height constantly.
Guys, at this point, I don't really care much anymore. I feel like such a useless bigger brother to her that I've practically disowned her in my own mind, just because I can't handle the embarrassment of being her older brother. Instead, I ended up just doing some really strange cope, where I imagined Nayuta from Chainsaw Man being my little sister instead.
This cope has become such a massive part of my life, that I genuinely just consider Nayuta to be my little sister now.
I often go to malls and imagine walking side by side with Nayuta as I buy her stuff like ice cream and candy, to which I often throw away in the end since I'm on a calorie deficit anyway. But buying those things still makes me happy, because I finally feel like that cool older brother that I've always wanted to be.
I often give her piggyback rides, as we go to the park and she gets to play around as I sit on the bench. Of course, none of this is real, I'm just imagining it all; but I've been doing it for so long that I genuinely and truly believe my brain believes it is real. I feel incredible happiness, and recently, I feel like I can actually start to see Nayuta doing these things.
Thoughts?
TLDR ; My little sister makes fun of me for my height all the time, and therefore I've practically disowned her in my own mind, and began to cope by imagining a fictional little girl as my sister instead.
I often like to tease and annoy my sister a lot. I'll just be generally annoying just because I find it humorous, but I don't do anything crazy. However, whenever she feels offended or annoyed enough with me, she'll always just resort to making fun of my height and my ugly face. Mind you, she's barely taller than me, which is super emasculating and makes me feel more subhuman than I already am.
She loves to tell me about all the other guys in her high school that are tall and just look how a guy should look -- as she mocks me further telling me how sad and ridiculous I look because of my height. This happened a few minutes ago, and she and my mother just left to go do something with real estate.
Honestly, her always doing this has made me reflect a lot on what my life has been like in the past. I know some guys on this forum will think I'm pathetic for this, but I -- until recently -- have always cared for my little sister. I felt that it was my duty as a bigger brother.
I recall a few years ago, while I was still in high school, I worried for my sister walking to her bus, since the area wasn't the safest and there were random crackheads (California). So I would always walk her to her bus and drop her off safely. Same with picking her up. She was in middle school during this time, and I remember how she would always tell me about all the kids on the bus making fun of me because of how short I was.
I guess eventually she didn't even want to be seen with me, so she asked me to hide behind a tree in the distance so that I could pick her up as the bus left. I remember how shameful I felt every time I hid behind that tree and heard the bus dropping off kids and driving away, but I did it because I didn't want to embarrass my sister. If there is one thing I hate about my height, it would be how I could never be that cooler bigger brother. I hate how I couldn't give my sister the experience of having that cool older brother that picks her up. All because of this damned height of mine.
And now here we are. 3 years later and she still makes fun of me for my height constantly.
Guys, at this point, I don't really care much anymore. I feel like such a useless bigger brother to her that I've practically disowned her in my own mind, just because I can't handle the embarrassment of being her older brother. Instead, I ended up just doing some really strange cope, where I imagined Nayuta from Chainsaw Man being my little sister instead.
This cope has become such a massive part of my life, that I genuinely just consider Nayuta to be my little sister now.
I often go to malls and imagine walking side by side with Nayuta as I buy her stuff like ice cream and candy, to which I often throw away in the end since I'm on a calorie deficit anyway. But buying those things still makes me happy, because I finally feel like that cool older brother that I've always wanted to be.
I often give her piggyback rides, as we go to the park and she gets to play around as I sit on the bench. Of course, none of this is real, I'm just imagining it all; but I've been doing it for so long that I genuinely and truly believe my brain believes it is real. I feel incredible happiness, and recently, I feel like I can actually start to see Nayuta doing these things.
Thoughts?
TLDR ; My little sister makes fun of me for my height all the time, and therefore I've practically disowned her in my own mind, and began to cope by imagining a fictional little girl as my sister instead.
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![Art] Kobeni you must absolutely not trip (Chainsaw Man) : r/manga](/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fgsqhzxisj1171.jpg%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D3f6ce697fa3fa4c742542df396bd5aed02a47fb7&hash=8721c80cbca523f9cc6f2418a5fe0395 "Art] Kobeni you must absolutely not trip (Chainsaw Man) : r/manga")
