I really thought I would do something in life and make everyone happy instead I became a forgotten loser and every thing feels so dark now. Life felt so bright as a child. I really fucked up .
I keep remembering how bright and happy and optimistic childhood was
did you also think as a child that youd have a really good important job but ended up being a wagie in retail or something?
all that changed was your recognition of reality
The moment i turned 13 i knew it was pretty much over before it even started
I relate to this way too much. I spent my whole damn life, into my 20s, blaming myself. Thinking I failed my parents, failed everyone who ever believed in me. That I had potential, but I was just some lazy, worthless bum who threw it all away. But now? Now I see the truth. I wasn’t lazy, I was being destroyed. Torn apart bit by bit throughout my childhood and teenage years. Bullied, mistreated, ignored. I didn’t "give up", I was abandoned. And no one gave a single shit. I developed actual mental illness, real damage, and now I’m left to deal with the fallout, completely alone.
The one thing I know with absolute fucking certainty is this: if even one person had genuinely cared just once, when I actually needed it, when I was drowning in silence and screaming on the inside, none of this shit would’ve happened. Not a damn thing. I needed the tiniest bit of support, just once, and the world spat in my face.
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