Something I find rather odd. When I'm deep in my thoughts I reflect on all the pain and suffering I have seen over the span of my life. Not just in my own but in others as well.
I've seen so many evil things in this world, and I always wondered why I never saw any good.
I always wanted to believe that there was a loving being looking out for all of us, but my experiences completely contradict this idea in every way, and it scares me.
This world scares me.
I really wish I was never born. All of these problems are too hard to deal with, and all of it weighs heavily on me.
Sometimes I genuinely lose myself to the madness of it all, and I've always wondered why I was put here.
I understand why Christians are scared of hell. I'm scared of hell. The thought of an all powerful creator sentencing us to a eternal realm of fire and torture is something I don't like to think about.
All of this life has just felt so meaningless, it's really hard for me to find any hope anymore.
Nowadays I find more hope in the people who are faithless. It all just seems so cruel.
Regardless of what I could have done differently I fear I would have always came to the same conclusion. It really puts in prospective how little control I feel we actually have here.
Everyone is so mean to each other. It feels like no one really grows up past their adolescents. All of these dreams we're brought up to believe, only to discover that they're all lies meant to control us and keep the system going.
Humans cope so much, it turns into a defense mechanism for survival. Without it the mind becomes corrupt and it leaves you open to evil.
I can barely sleep anymore. I can never sleep. There's too many possibilities of what could actually be true, that all of it just feels like misdirection and lies.
I fear that one day I could be wrong, and if that's the case then all of this life has been wasted. I just don't see any good possibility in the end.
I shouldn't doubt myself, these are just my fears buried in my own insecurities. It's good that I am isolated enough to question these things on my own.
I'm just so tired of this world. I'm ready for it to be over already. Life feels too long for all the pointless things that we do.
I wish I still had some innocence left in me. Everything that I used to be has been taken away.
I've seen so many evil things in this world, and I always wondered why I never saw any good.
I always wanted to believe that there was a loving being looking out for all of us, but my experiences completely contradict this idea in every way, and it scares me.
This world scares me.
I really wish I was never born. All of these problems are too hard to deal with, and all of it weighs heavily on me.
Sometimes I genuinely lose myself to the madness of it all, and I've always wondered why I was put here.
I understand why Christians are scared of hell. I'm scared of hell. The thought of an all powerful creator sentencing us to a eternal realm of fire and torture is something I don't like to think about.
All of this life has just felt so meaningless, it's really hard for me to find any hope anymore.
Nowadays I find more hope in the people who are faithless. It all just seems so cruel.
Regardless of what I could have done differently I fear I would have always came to the same conclusion. It really puts in prospective how little control I feel we actually have here.
Everyone is so mean to each other. It feels like no one really grows up past their adolescents. All of these dreams we're brought up to believe, only to discover that they're all lies meant to control us and keep the system going.
Humans cope so much, it turns into a defense mechanism for survival. Without it the mind becomes corrupt and it leaves you open to evil.
I can barely sleep anymore. I can never sleep. There's too many possibilities of what could actually be true, that all of it just feels like misdirection and lies.
I fear that one day I could be wrong, and if that's the case then all of this life has been wasted. I just don't see any good possibility in the end.
I shouldn't doubt myself, these are just my fears buried in my own insecurities. It's good that I am isolated enough to question these things on my own.
I'm just so tired of this world. I'm ready for it to be over already. Life feels too long for all the pointless things that we do.
I wish I still had some innocence left in me. Everything that I used to be has been taken away.
