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RageFuel I have to force myself to be NT and social

gymcellragefuel

gymcellragefuel

Virgin foid or death
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I am forced to do it for many reasons. And when I do it, my brain realises that something is wrong. I don’t want to do any of this shit I wish I could just do what I want but I can’t if I want to exist.

My parents found out I skipped today’s lecture. I had to explain to my parents that I’m not a failure and I’m actually going to try and pass this year. “Ive changed” I said because in the previous years I would just LDAR. Last year I gymcelled/LDAR.

The ice cream truck came outside my house, my parents asked me to buy it for my sister and the whole time I just repeated in my head “I have to be NT and social” .

This shit is fucked
 
I can't even be social if I try. I am so awkward and can't talk to people.
 
i can't fake it so i don't even bother.
 
It's absolutely brutal bro. I'm the same.
I have lost so many opportunities because of this. I have lost so much.
 
I can (and have to) force myself to act NT but it's extremely draining. Idk how NTs can perform all these social rituals all day long, I can only sustain a couple hours of it a week
 

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